More than 2 kids?

[Missy08]

For some reason, my husband and I have always had the magic number of 2 in our heads for the number of kids we would have. However, now that DD2 is 8 months, I'm already thinking about whether or not we should have one more. I can't really think of a good "reason" (if that makes sense) but I just all of a sudden feel sad thinking about not trying, being pregnant, and having another baby. But then when I think reasonably about having another baby, I think about the extra daycare, we'd need a bigger car, etc.

Do people really KNOW when their families are complete and this is our way of knowing we're not done or is it just normal to feel sad about being past the child-bearing years..?

Thoughts?!

(Oh and DH would FAINT if he knew I was thinking about baby #3 )

 

[tverb84]

I want to have at least two or three children.

 

[jnr41733]

Honestly, for the vast majority of people having more than 2 kids is just irresponsible. Having to stretch time and resources so thin causes everyone to suffer. I personally love the idea of a big family but practically it wouldn't make sense. Two college tuitions will be enough!

 

[apreslaube]

I'd never advise *having* more than 2 kids. Strain on not only your resources (financially, emotionally, and time), but also on the environment (and through that, everyone). I don't know about *knowing* you have the right number. That's an interesting question. I would advise you to think more about *why* you are considering another. If you want (and can support) a big family, you can always consider adoption.

That was a lot of asterisks lol

 

[apreslaube]

Also, JNR, I find it interesting how everyone talks about saving up for their kids college tuition. That was never discussed at all for me. I sure won't be paying all my kid's tuition, though I will help!

 

[smm42791]

We want four!! I personally think odd numbers are weird. Lol but that's just my craziness. I think two is a great number. But if you guys are financially stable enough have another! More to Love!

 

[lucy_smith]

I don't really know much on this subject as I don't have children myself, but my mum had five. Even after 4 she wanted another had a surprise number 5 and would have loved number 6 but finances where not fantastic. I believe money is important but not the most important. My mum and dad struggled at times, mum worked night shifts so nor to pay childcare costs. Dad worked. But I loved my childhood, it was like a constant playground in my back garden, I lived the big family and would never change a thing! I also believe there is no need to save up for your children's college / Uni. If your child really wants to go they will. My brother wanted to go, he finished his degree along with buying his own flat and didn't take a student loan. He worked hard! And now it shows. My cousins parents paid for him to go to Uni which I don't think he actually wanted to do and quit with 4 months left . I think that the experience of saving for things yourself makes you appreciate them more.

Sorry about the ramble. If you want another sit down and discuss it with your oh. Your kids will never know how much money you have , they remember the days you took then to the park or had a day trip to the beach . They don't care if it's expensive they just want quality time with there parents .

 

[Eleanor ace]

I'd like 3. I'm one of 3 myself and really enjoyed it. We have the space, I work from home so childcare isn't an issue and I don't see 3 as being a "big" family or putting a strain on quality tie with each child- I never felt like that was an issue as a child.
I think some people know when their family is complete but some people never move past that bioogical urge to reproduce- I iagine I'll be one of the later. For me there will probably always be that battle between head and heart but at the moent my heart has a better arguement so it wins lol.

 

[steph.]

I think a lot of people know when their family is complete. My sister knew after she had her 2nd. I feel like I have one more child waiting to join the family. Logically I dont have a reason to want another child, but I cant help this feeling. I would hate to get old and regret never having our 3rd. So I think the extra daycare fees, bigger car ect will be worth it even if it means fewer luxuries.

I dont agree with people saying it's not fair on everyone. If you can support one more child, give all your children plenty of love and attention, then it doesn't affect anyone but you. Adoption although a lovely thought, isn't for everyone.

 

[Pearls18]

I'd never advise *having* more than 2 kids. Strain on not only your resources (financially, emotionally, and time), but also on the environment (and through that, everyone). I don't know about *knowing* you have the right number. That's an interesting question. I would advise you to think more about *why* you are considering another. If you want (and can support) a big family, you can always consider adoption.

That was a lot of asterisks lol

So let me get this straight, you wouldn't advise the strain of a third child because of money, emotions and time, but instead you would recommend adopting a child when it is known adopted children will most often come from quite difficult backgrounds thus it is a lot more work to assimilate an adopted child into a ready made family than a baby, not only for that child but especially for the natural born children. I've been doing a lot of research in adoption for my family and I assure you it is not a good option for the reasons you state.


As for the person who called it irresponsible for the "vast majority", there are so many things I want to say to you but most of them are rude, so I shall abstain.

To the OP this is something I am debating with myself right now, I assumed we would be done at 2, but right now I feel like someone is missing. There are lots of reasons I am tooing and froing, but from a heart-led not practical angle I'm having a hard time deciphering if it is just in my biology to feel broody being a woman of child bearing age, or if I really do want a third child. Right now I think I need to give it a year, stop BF, let my hormones settle, get out of the newborn stage and reassess when my head is clearer.

 

[luvmyfam]

As for the person who called it irresponsible for the "vast majority", there are so many things I want to say to you but most of them are rude, so I shall abstain.

Totally agree. It's a personal decision for every family to make on their own.

 

[Mrs Mc]

We always planned to have two..but were very surprised when they both came at the same time! Therefore we're hoping for a third.

To the OP...my Mum has always said... You'll never regret the children you have...but may regret the ones you dont!

Thats always stuck with me x

 

[helloeveryone]

We always planned to have two..but were very surprised when they both came at the same time! Therefore we're hoping for a third.

To the OP...my Mum has always said... You'll never regret the children you have...but may regret the ones you dont!

Thats always stuck with me x

Love what your mum said,that's so true..

I have 6 children, I love them so much.xxx

 

[CarlyP]

Honestly, for the vast majority of people having more than 2 kids is just irresponsible. Having to stretch time and resources so thin causes everyone to suffer. I personally love the idea of a big family but practically it wouldn't make sense. Two college tuitions will be enough!

I'd never advise *having* more than 2 kids. Strain on not only your resources (financially, emotionally, and time), but also on the environment (and through that, everyone). I don't know about *knowing* you have the right number. That's an interesting question. I would advise you to think more about *why* you are considering another. If you want (and can support) a big family, you can always consider adoption.

That was a lot of asterisks lol

 

[CarlyP]

We have decided on 3..so far

I have always wanted a big family, I don't think it's up to anyone but yourselves, everyone's situation is different, we tend to have larger age gaps, 4 years between each, it's not how we've planned it but it does work for us.

 

[Noodlebear]

It's not my place to say whether or not someone who has more than 2 children is irresponsible because I don't live anyone else's life. Right now I think that I'd like 2 but I could easily be feeling the way you do after our second!! I think it'd be the wrong decision if you knew you couldn't afford to care for more children but it doesn't matter how many kids you have - you can always make time for them.
I didn't quite understand the poster who said that having a third child might not work but adopting could be an option - I didn't think that the act of giving birth made such a difference to a family's situation? Lol.