Mother of all conception months Graduates

[PeanutBean]

Oh we lose £1000pm too on the paid parts. What I did last time is save up before leave and during the better paid bits and then transfer the equivalent of SMP over in the last three months. We lived off interest free credit cards as much as possible so that we always had spare money in the account for bills then paid a bunch of it off at the end of my leave. Not all though! We only got the basic family element and child under 1 for tax credits with Byron and the latter has been scrapped now too. Tax credits don't seem to help much until you get childcare.

It'll be tricky for us with tax credits this time because Byron will be in nursery but in those three months unpaid you count as unemployed which means we won't get tax credits towards childcare (though we might not get any anyway). Somehow we seemed to spend less when I was on leave though I don't understand how as what I gained in not commuting we more than lost in mileage paid back.

 

[madcatwoman]

how do these tax credits work?, i mean, is there as salary threshold where you can earn too much and you dont get any?.

DH is on about £30k, for the both of us obviously, but everything we have looked into claiming so-far has left us over the threshold and not able to claim.

 

[PeanutBean]

Yes from April the total household income threshold is £40k. You can get childcare help only if both parents are working 16 hours a week or more. Everyone below the threshold gets about £500pa family element. For everything in between it's a hugely complicated system based on proportions of earnings and how much on childcare etc. There is a calculator on HMRC (just google it all, it'll come up). It you ahve a go bear in mind it calculates your award pro rata from the tax year. So whatever answer it gives now you need to multiply up 4 times (approx) as there are only three months left. BUT I don't know if the calculator has an option for the new rates, I bet it doesn't. By 2012 the total household income eligible will drop to £23k something but what's not clear is how childcare fits into that. There's no way ANY family could have both parents working at that level, a single child's nursery is about £2000pa per day in nursery. This is why we expect DH to have to give up work if that happens. We're looking at £12.5k nursery fees for the two kids.

 

[madcatwoman]

thats complicated!. but only one of us will be working(for the forseeable future), so i guess thats us not meeting the criteera of working "at least 16 hours each" then.
Ive only ever been able to find work on min wage(due to exp and the area)so its not worth me doing that and paying out all my wages on childcare each month(&im certainly not having MIL bringing our son up). We did agree from the start id be a SAHM, i do feel fortunate in that respect.

 

[gilz82]

That's me out my scan. Baby is perfect, everything where it should be etc

The wee monkey had his legs closed so only got the teeniest look but still definitely a wee willy

So glad everything is ok, now let the nursery furniture buying commence

 

[vbaby3]

Aw great news gilz,glad your wee man is perfect,and still a wee man lol!!

Happy v day madly!!!xxx
And good luck tomorrow for your scan loopy.x
During labour I was a crier/groaner and moaner,and at the end I was definately a screamer!!
Everyone has different pain thresholds,and you don't know how you'll be til you're there in the thick of it.After oran I have to say I was considering adoption or an elective c section wherever I might get 1!
I knew I wanted a 3rd,but didn't want to do labour again.Its soon forgotten,and to be honest,you just love your kids so much,I would actually do it a million times over for them.

Oh I had a huge drama here yesterday.Oran and shay were running in the hall,heard the biggest wallop you ever heard,oran screaming hysterically.His mouth was pouring blood.
Got him in the kitchen and cuddled him for a few mins,didn't know where the bleeding was cpming from or how bad it was.
Eventually got a wee look in his mouth,and about a third of his 2 front teeth is broken off.
I'm actually welling up now thinking of him.Luckily dh was here,coz I had to go upstairs for a cry.
Eventually got him calmed down and after about an hr of cuddles he got down and started playing again.Still couldn't get a good look in,he wouldn't let us,so didn't know the extent of the damage.
He went off to sleep as normal.I kept checking in on him during the night,expecting him to wake up screaming in pain at some point but he didn't.
So today,his gum around the 2 front teeth is a bit purple looking,and obviously the teeth are still broken,but he's in perfect form and eating as normal.
Would any of you mammys bring him to the doc anyway?I was thinking i'd just keep an eye and make sure he didn't get an infection or anything.
I know this sounds awful,but it costs me 50euro to bring my kids to the gp,and its happened many a time i've been sent home saying there's nothing she can do,but you still ahve to pay.
Of course we'll bring him if need be,but there's not exactly spare 50euro notes floating about at the mo.
I couldn't sleep at all last night thinking about him,he'll never have his gorgeous smile back til he's 6 or 7,
I'm just devastated,and now i'm crying again
These pregnancy hormones certaintly aren't helping.
Sorry about the long post!!xx

 

[sequeena]

Working tax credits confuse the hell out of me. OH probably makes around £21,000 pa and can't get it but we were told by citizen's advice that if we had a child he would get it. Eh (along with child tax credits etc)

 

[PeanutBean]

Aw vbaby! I'd say take him to the dentist but I know they don't really do anything for baby teeth - a friend of mine's little girl did the same and they wouldn't repair it. That said, if it's sharp they might be able to smooth it down, he might cut his tongue when he eats. They could also check for infection I should've thought. It's so heartbreaking! I hope he is happy at least.

Madcat the two people working is only for the childcare element. Basically you just need to request a form, fill it in and see what happens. You'll definitely get the family element anyway and £500 is better than a kick in the nuts!

Glad all is well Gilz! It's not the little willy you should've been on the look out for so much as the huge balls! Just you ladies wait til your boys come out with giant newborn balls!

 

[PeanutBean]

Working tax credits confuse the hell out of me. OH probably makes around £21,000 pa and can't get it but we were told by citizen's advice that if we had a child he would get it. Eh (along with child tax credits etc)

The working tax credit limit is seriously low. Theoretically it's about £16k but I think it usually works out as £7k. It's only when you have kids and get eligble for the CTC that it's worth applying in most cases.

 

[sequeena]

Working tax credits confuse the hell out of me. OH probably makes around £21,000 pa and can't get it but we were told by citizen's advice that if we had a child he would get it. Eh (along with child tax credits etc)

The working tax credit limit is seriously low. Theoretically it's about £16k but I think it usually works out as £7k. It's only when you have kids and get eligble for the CTC that it's worth applying in most cases.

That is nuts. We are able to live on his wage, we're not able to live lavishly but we are ok. I can't believe anyone on a lower wage with the same expenses as us could get by without the working tax credits to top them up. It's nuts

 

[vbaby3]

Thanks peanut,yeh I googled what they might do with a toddlers broken teeth.They said more than likely nothing,but watch for infection,and if they're sharp bring him to dentist.
I'll just watch him for a few days and make sure it heals ok,then decide if we need to see a dentist once he's not in pain and I can have a good look at them and a feel!
Or next time i'm at the gp's for my own FREE checkup,i'll just ask casually if there's something I need to do.
I know it could be so much worse,so trying not to get upset,it probably sounds vain but he has the biggest most gorgeous smile ever and now its all gappy

Meant to say gorgeous bump madcat,must take a pic soon.x
And peanut,jeez you certaintly had some amont of water in there with byron!
And I agree about the big balls!ha ha ha!!
Especially during the 1st few days nappy changing when they do the black runny tar poo,its hard work trying to clean that off a swollen scrotum!!

Although peanut,don't know why we're laughing,we're gonna have to open our girls bits to clean them!!its gonna be really weird!

 

[DaretoDream]

Dare couple of things that articalis over 10 years old, any uni would chuck it out as being to old. the research in it is limited with only small numbers of woman having a negative reponce. If you are having a US because you have miscarried before the more chance there is of MCing again the more you have its horribly sad fact. many woman don't even know tehy have MC'd unless they monitor everything like us so the results in these cases are dubious. Plus technology has come a long way in 10 years.

Thanks mollly- i had my dh read it because i was afraid to. 10 years old?! thats a bit ridiculous. You know my mother is telling me not to get ONE ultrasound, while she smoked through her entire pregnancy. Seriously mom? come on.

Dare I think there IS an issue with overuse of ultrasound mostly in terms of length of time of the US as it does produce heating in the uterus and heating is never a good thing in biology. However, what counts as overuse is the argument at hand. Going through the link, the miscarriage section sites a handful of studies. Given the numbers involved (though obviously I haven't just whipped through a statistical test) I think it highly unlikely that any of those statistics are significant. 20 miscarriages in 9000 women and drawing a conclusion that the ultrasound caused it? I offer you a virtual wry smile. The diagnosis of placenta praevia bit is more sound. If there is indeed no evidence that US is a good tool for this particular condition then there it shouldn't be sued for that condition, though that doesn't undo the use in diagnosis of the millions of other things it is used for. The diagnosis for serious defects (and the following sections), well, nothing's perfect. Certainly in the UK no US comes with a 100% guarantee about anything and this is explicitly stated to women. That's why things like amnio are offered for servere genetic conditions. I rather feel that the defect bit is more a societal state of mind in expecting perfection and expecting medicine to identify and fix everything (though that's a discussion for another time!).

I think in the US there are often more ultrasounds than in the UK. Our routine is 2. Another might offered late of where a breech baby is suspected. There might sometimes be extra scans where there has been a big bleed and complications mid-term. I can't really comment on what the US does but I think the UK is pretty well balanced and less reliant on ultrasound.

To consider it from a different perspective, there is still high maternal and neonatal mortality in less developed parts of the world and much of it can be explained by poor antenatal care. This includes the use of US to identify complications such as transverse babies that cannot be delivered.

My philosophy is that a minimal use of any sort of medical intervention is pertinent but where there is a call for additional use it's great we have the tools to help. If medics and/or parents are overreliant on a specific diagnostic method that is the fault of the medics in incorrectly interpreting/explaining to the parents/ignoring the evidence in support of its efficacy and not the fault of the US.

Yes we are going to go ahead with the ultrasound anyway. We are excited to do it and see. I just my mother would not do things like that.

Dare hon take no bloody notice of that email from your mum....is she mental emailing you something like that we worry enough us pregnant ladies without recieving the likes of an email like that Put it in the trash bin like Molly suggested

Thanks madly- i'm going to trash it.

That's me out my scan. Baby is perfect, everything where it should be etc

The wee monkey had his legs closed so only got the teeniest look but still definitely a wee willy

So glad everything is ok, now let the nursery furniture buying commence

Gilz! so glad everything is well and are you happy you're team blue? Did madly pick correct again?

 

[PeanutBean]

There are the other benefits when your income is that low though.

We need £25k gross to live. Combined we earn quite a bit more than that of course loads goes on tax and childcare. Currently we are getting CTC top up because of our low income last year. Our problem is that I don't quite earn enough for us to live on (and would be a seriously angry lady if I were the only earner and was deprived of having more kids because of dependency on my salary) and DH earns significantly less. It seem such a reasonable figure to reach but because of the childcare it's just not. For example after my mat leave we will be looking at £37k as a minimum to live off because of the childcare. If DH earned what I do I would be a SAHM and do odd bits and bobs to make ends meet. I will eternally resent the burden on women who are the main earners when it comes to having families.

 

[PeanutBean]

vababy at the swollen scrotum! True about the girl's bits, will have to teach DH front to back. None of us already has a girl do we?

 

[molly85]

Happy VDay.

VBaby get him to the dentist, he might just need checking over,living next door to a dental nurse she gives me lots of info. Especially what not to stick in a bottle or dunk a dummy in.
Eugh child tax credits.
For those with more than 1 child or higher slarys do your companies offer childcare vouchers?I know mine do which I have yet to way up the costing of. Abby will bein childcare for 4 days every other week if my plans go right, she will be 6 months old so deffinatly be ready for terrorising the local nursery nurses.

 

[molly85]

lol girls will be easy for me as I was trained how to clean people men always confused me. I never trusted their bits to behave.

 

[PeanutBean]

We have the busy bees vouchers (unless the government decides to scrap them which was on the cards), you basically save about a quarter of the cost of the vouchers but you can only get I think £150 per week which is a tax saving of about £2k pa, or if both employers do it, £4k. Usually works out better for those who are earning more than about £30kpa, BUT there are implications as your pension, any salary related settlement, pay rises and similar things can all be based on your income AFTER the childcare deductions. It's at your employers discretion how they do it.

ETA we don't have the vouchers now, but we will have to look into them after my leave if they are around.

Oh and my new nappies just came!

 

[molly85]

they are transferable I think to other nurseries as we have busybees included. i'm not sure if you are using the nursery 2 times aweek which isthe better way to go

 

[PeanutBean]

How do you mean transferable? Our nursery does accept them but it hasn't been financially worth getting them for us yet. I'm not sure it'll be worth pulling my salary down either.

 

[molly85]

busybees are a nursery chain in their own right but you can use the vouchers in loads of placesincluding childminders andschemes like PGL brilliant for older kids.

Eugh I am doing a list of work my parents need to do ontheir house to have abby visit or stay there is horribly long. Their house is so squalid