Mother of all conception months Graduates

[Ozzieshunni]

I got the pampers at Boots too. They are ace!

Madly, poor Charlie and his big nappies.

Alex slept well last night. So well one of my boobs leaked for the first time in ages! I was so relieved when he woke up and fed

 

[PeanutBean]

What a busy day! Bathed and massaged Indigo then headed over to Bolton to get my camera checked. All good, home and lunch. Off to see a friend and her 4 week old. Home and dog walk. Just fed the girl and it's Byron time soon. DH is working late so long evening for me. MIL is finally coming to see Indigo tomorrow so we'll have to spend the morning cleaning.

Had a random woman I've never seen before stop me in the street earlier exclaiming "oo you've had the baby!". Checked i was "the lady on the end". Seems someone else had seen me getting in the ambulance and had told her I was having the baby. Sort of flattering, sort of odd to have been noticed in my pregnancy by neighbours I've never met! She loved her name and gushed over her, despite not being able to see much of her in the wrap, so that was quite nice.

 

[gilz82]

Hi girls :wave:

Well we got an appointment for Noah to see a paediatric gastroenterologist at Yorkhill (children's hospital) for a week on Monday. It's classed as an emergency appointment so I should be grateful they class Noahs condition as that important otherwise I dread to think how long we would have had to wait.

Fingers crossed this will be the beginning of things getting better for us.

Noah is still in size 2 nappies madly and he's 12lbs 3oz. I tried a size three and it was under his arms so I thought that was a little big and put them away again

Hope everyone else is well

 

[MADLYSBOYS]

Evening Ladies

Funny my little Charlie had the heaviest birth weight of all the grad babes so far but is now in the tiny stakes really isnt something I can get my head around He wore 0-3mth shorts today which dont really stay up over his nappy my little skinny minnie!

NOMORE we have experienced lots of attention seeking behaviour too since Charlie was born Oliver does something to Charlie to make him scream really loud, we still havent worked out what it is yet but whatever he does he does it in like a nano second when your back is turned all I know is Charlie screams that `painful` scream as if hes been hurt and when we ask Oliver what he did he just grins and says `nothing` or `I was cuddling him or talking to him!`

at your neighbour Peanut rather nice she noticed you were pregnant

Gilz I am so pleased you got your referral and quickly fxed this is the road to recovery and glad Charlie isnt on his own still in size 2`s

Well we had a lovely lunch and I especially enjoyed my dessert but I just made the biggest boo boo ever and I feel crap ....

My Sister is booked into have her c-section tomorrow so my Nephew will be born at some point tomorrow however this has been a close guarded secret so FOB doesnt turn up (you know the violent yob she had the good sense to leave in the end!) well my other Sisters partner is good pals with FOB on and off so my Sister wasnt informed Harry will arrive tomorrow because we dont want FOB turning up and causing a scene etc. Well silly mare me sent a text to my Sister (the one having the baby!) about her having Harry tomorrow only I didnt send it to her I sent it to my other Sister (the one who doesnt know!) instead My Sister (the one having the baby!) is called Natasha and we call her Tasha and my other Sisters name begins with T so they are together in my phone book and I clicked on the wrong one by accident I called my Mum and she told me not to mention anything to my Sister who having the baby but ring my other Sister and give her a severe warning about not telling anyone So I did and my Sister wasnt best pleased that she wasnt told and says she wont tell anyone but am not sure .... I feel so I hope FOB doesnt turn up tomorrow My Mum said not to worry it was a genuine error but I just feel awful now

 

[PeanutBean]

Oh madly. Leave instructions with the hospital to deny him access. You can refuse to see people so it should be possible to arrange just in case he does show up. For confidentiality the hospital should be able to refuse disclosing into about whether or not she is even there I think.

 

[tas1]

Evening

Glad you all have had nice days!!

So happy you have your appointment gilz and like others have said I hope it's the beginning of better things!

Madly I totally would of done something like that! Hope he doesn't go to the hospital and anyhow how exciting your nephew will be here tomorrow!! Is this your sisters first? She has a great name lol

Got Caleb weighed today and he weighs 15lbs 12oz and she said try to wait to wean til 4 months but I am trying to hold out it's a good thing he hasn't got teeth coz he wouldn't have any hands or I wouldn't have a shoulder left lol! She was happy with him and he progress!
He has only had a fe hours sleep today don't think the heat has helped and he is finally asleep on me I put him down in his basket but he was having none of it so I've picked him up and laid him on me and he's straight asleep, I've dressed him in just a baby grow do you think he'll be ok? I have a thin blanket but I will only put it on him if it turns cold!

Caden has come away from my mums with bruises all over well maybe two lol onof his back where be slid down the slide too fast in the pool then then other he tripped up and his gun hit his head!! Don't think we'll be going out in public til it's gone coz it's right in the middle of his head lol

Xx

 

[pinkclaire]

What a nightmare madly, but it's just a mistake like PB said they won't let him in if she doesn't want them there.

I left Charlotte for an hour today while I went to Zumba, she was asleep the whole time! felt good to get out and do something for me though

 

[molly85]

Yp Madly I'm with PB. nfact most mat wards only allow you one visitor and if she informs them he is violent security will have him removed.

Sorry not been on much girls.

Fab news on the appointment Gilz shame it's taken so long.

On nappies only saw a brief bit abby is abot to go up to a size 2 and I have prepper her 0-3 stuff in readyness.

Having man issues so not got alot of time at the mo I am on FB though

 

[pinkclaire]

Sorry tas your post wasn't there then I think he will be fine in just a babygro.

Molly what's up Hun

 

[molly85]

lack of support and empathy. I have just refused to do any hose work or pt abby to bed tonight. I jst get given looks and humphs all the time. Don't spend money then last night he had his family over for Pizza and Beer playing poker he paid the lot and they played for money. we were up til 1 and it was hardly my relxing in the bath and sit and natter on internet 1 either. I want him out of my life at the moment he's not living to what i need him to be. I now have a cold I can't shake off, cramps that make me feel sick and I am exhausted. I wanted him to be there for me not need telling what to do after bragging so mch abot all he knew. He won't do as i tell him. He's refusing to do tmmy time with abby becase she screams , he doesn't want to bath her. I have actally fond when he does change her nappy he doesn't clean in her lady garden area properly even thogh he has been told many times it needs doing oh the list goes on and it adds up even when he's off I have to do all the care even thogh he said he would

 

[PeanutBean]

Molly. I'm sorry he's being a disappointment.

On a slightly frivolous note I wouldn't worry about tummy time. They almost always hate it til they're quite a bit older and whether you do it or not babies will get strong. Byron never did it and he's just fine.

Excellent about your quick appointment Gilz.

 

[NOMORENUMBERS]

i am absolutely ground down to an absolute pulp

sorry this is going to be another self involved rant but i need to get this off my chest because i will never sleep . . .

my appointment today . . you know the one where it was supposed to be all rubber stamped, section date given and me finally able to relax. . . well no.

dont get me wrong despite being told it was just a formality i still expected to have to put my case forward for a c section, i know i dont have a physical medical reason but i have a pretty huge mental medical reason and as this was down to them being completely incompetant at my first birth i thought that they might be a little anxious and very much sympathetic to my story.

i have now seen 5 different people, all saying that they can not make a decision, all of which insist i go through every painful memory i have of my first birth without offering any kind of help back ie any form of basic counselling skills or even an oh wow ok no wonder you feel the way you feel, my tears are just met with stoney silence

today the consultant point blank refused to do a c section. i absolutely just broke down, when i asked why she reeled off the whole no medical reason and i just sobbed well what about birth trauma, are you telling me that this medical reason now no longer exists? no we do not give c sections for birth trauma, like wtf! then she asks me if i had seen the head midwife, i said no i have not needed to as when my midwife explained my situation to her she found it severe enough to agree to it without seeing me, has written on my notes her opinion and has written a letter to i was told "the consultants" exactly my worries and her opinion on it.

you know how it was left

i will call you and let you know my absolute final decison in a week or so

i am in floods of tears, i feel like such a prick. am i being stupid that i should be totally over my son almost dying? should i be over the lack of care i recieved during my labour and after it? should i be able to blindly trust the exact same people not to do the same thing again?

and another thing not one person has told me anything remarkable about why i should put my trust in them. oh every labour is different - my resonse yes i could actually end up with a fully dead baby this time instead of one in a coma, your baby isnt big, neither was my son supposedly 11lb 6onz of not big, you will be monitored, because they did such a fabuous job of it with leo, we are not into forcing people to do something they do nto want to do, right and what youare doing to me is.. . . . what my imagination?

i feel like giving up. if it werent for the very very real thought in my head that they will most certainly feck up again i would turn around and say whatever fine force me to do what you want but if anything happens to my baby i will be suing the arses off of all of you like i should i have done the first time round.

in fact she only shut the hell up with her no no no when i said i fully blame this department for what happened to my son. fully blame them.

i'll f&cking call you in a week or so. thanks!

 

[madcatwoman]

Morning all

Oh god nomore, i dont know what to say to you, have they led you all the way to this point saying you can have a section up till now?, if so thats appalling!. I dont in anyway blame you for wanting one and being so upset now, because if insanity hit me and i got pregnant again id only want a section too after my labour and crap recovery too.

Dh has a friend whos wife had a boy 2 years ago , she had a section, she had no medical reason other than being terrified of a natrual birth!!!!, aparently she kept turning the water works on!, Dh and i are still a bit flumaxed as to how she managed it though because ive always been told theres no chance of a section!, it was strange, shes preggers again and due another section. How can y ou be turned down when you have already tried a natrual? and it was awful, and someone like her not even try it and get a section straight away?

Molly, im so sorry to hear about your problems, what an @rse hes being, our men can be really thoughtless sometimes. Kick him in to touch hun, youre not quite the marshmallow i am sometimes!

Madly, hope all goes well with your sisters section/birth today!

i put bailey in his travel cot last night,5 mins later he screamed so loud with such horror, i shot out of bed and picked him up and he stopped just like that. I think being put in a low travel cot without the confinds of his basket was too much. I then did what a friend once told me to do, which was to put his basket in the cot, which i did, and he was fine, slept thru till 6am. So im just wondering when to try him without the basket again

 

[PeanutBean]

Nomore in an attempt to help I'm going to be frank. I apologise now if this really doesn't help! I can't remember all the details of Leo's birth but from what I understand your main issue is that you were horribly let down by the medical staff resulting in the section. I know you thought about vbac a while back so I have to question why it is you are requesting a section with the same people that performed so badly? If you get the section then you will be fully placing the life of you and your new baby in their hands once again. If you go for a vbac you are placing your faith in your body - something far more trustworthy! Can you go to a different hospital? By which I mean is there another close enough to you as you are within your rights to alter your place of birth whenever you like, even to the point of setting off in labour. If you could go for a vbac under a different medical team that could go a long way to helping you over your fears for this birth.

There is absolutely nothing wrong or even unusual in your feeling how you do about the first traumatic birth. Many many women have difficult first births to varying degrees and with various amounts of blame that can be apportioned go the medical staff. How we all react and what we then want for our next birth might differ but to feel so depressed and afraid as a consequence of that trauma is normal. Kind of sad that horrible births are so routine as to be normal but there it is. In failing to offer you debriefs and/or counselling the same staff are still failing you.

I feel kind of desperate for you nomore. It's awful for you to feel this way at the brink of birth. You should be able to feel at peace and prepared for your labour and your hospital team seems to have passed the buck and shirked their responsibilities in the most disgraceful manner. I want you to be able to feel secure going into this birth. I hope my words don't hurt, it's absolutely my opposite intention. The thought if you going for surgery with doctors you cannot trust really worries me. It simply shouldn't be that way.

 

[NOMORENUMBERS]

thank you madcat, you can request one and if you are seen by a psyhcologist how signs off that you have a real fear of birth then bam you got your medical reason, i have been requesting to see someone since 23weeks and the consultant yesterday just went why are you only bringing this up now? erm . . .

thank you for taking the time to respond pb i totally get where you are coming from except that my experience is the opposite to what you remember it was the midwife team i had that led to my emergency through them sitting on the other side of the room filling out her trainees paperwork for 4 hours and not noticing that leo was in distress, his problem then was that he breathed in all his meconium, ended up in an induced coma for 5 days and was given an hour to respond to treatement or he was going tobe transfered to goshospital. the only time i felt like i was in competant hands was when i was taken away by the surgeons.

i honestly started with the intention of having a c section, then just after the first scan and thinking about it i was very much actually i feel like i was enjoying the challenge of labour last time and felt cheated to end up not experiencing all of it. but within about a month of looking into it and wondering about doulas, who couldnt do legally what i wanted them to i went back to being petrified of ending up with the crappy midwives again.

honestly i have always thought i should have had councelling at the time of leos birth and afterwards to genuinely work through what we went through, being told your baby might die is unimaginable and the way i handled it at the time was almost like to forget it was happening to me and go very matter of fact about it - so really not handling it at all. now i am at the stage where if i knew there was a risk of me HAVING to put my trust in the same team again i would never have gotten pregnant without conselling first and i most certainly will not be either getting pregnant at all again after this or if i really do feel the need for my longed for third and last then i would not enter into it until i had some proper counselling.

sorry to ramble especially first thing in the morning . . . thing is that i say to everyone is that had leo been born even an hour earlier, he wouldnt have been in distress, he wouldnt have pood in me and none of what happened after that would have happened. we wouldnt even be having this conversation

thanks for letting me rant on, i am so tired, didnt get to sleep until 3am, its grandads funeral today so sucky couple of days all round for me

 

[tas1]

Morning ladies

Sorry about men troubles Molly! Men are pigs sometimes and it has taken me so long to get my OH just to help out but he is doing alot more than he use to! Just talk to him and give him a slap!

Kate I can't believe they are letting down! Can you not have a test to see if you are traumatised then surely they will give you a section because mental health issues (not saying your crazy) are a medical condition! Did you get depressed after you had Leo and have tablets? Surely your doctor could write a letter because he knows you better than consultants! My consultants refused to induce me early due to my SPD I cried at every appointment but still nothing,the scanning ladies had to help me off the beds before my consultants appointment but apparently I could of been making it up! Then I had my last appointment and had my scan they said apparently Caleb had slowed down growing and with my severe SPD they wanted to induce me early I was 39wks! Just keep at them and fight your corner!

Xx

 

[NOMORENUMBERS]

also i know this sounds pretty dramatic right but what would the affect of forcing me to do something i really do not want to do have post birth? are they thinking i will be grateful? i am thinking depressed and a little violated would be more the feelings i would have . . . gah i need a mirror and some proper venting time just to ramble, leo is too old to talk to about my ramblings now because he looks at me like mummy, can we please talk about playdough or something, when they are tiny you can talk to them about everything and it is technically not talking to yourself lol

 

[NOMORENUMBERS]

thanks tas! i mentioned birth trauma and mental health and she almost burst out laughing (ok well she has a smirk on her face when she went er no)

no i didnt work through my feelings on the birth at all, we were riding high on just how grateful we were to have him alive, i never even had the baby blues because the first day leo was awake was when i was feeling really low and then to find him awake just shot the adrenaline and happy hormones around and that lasted for blinking ages

i have cried at every appointment, and i just feel like "oh there she goes putting on the water works" but yesterday i was actually hyperventalating a little stupid thing is the first consultant i saw(seen someone different each time) said you might want vbac, fine, you might want to not go past 41 weeks fine, you might not want to go past 40 weeks fine, you might want a section anyway due to the fear of the same thing happening again. . . fine. this was after the whole government changing the rules on repeats



i dunno, i am going to have to go now anyway but thank so much ladies for listening to me and making me feel marginally better that at the very least i am not a complete loon

have a great day ladies, i hope all the babies behaved themselves last night and are all smiling today xkx

 

[PeanutBean]

Oh I see nomore. What about a hospital change then? Do you know why Leo got into distress? Were you on syntocinon or natural contractions? Meconium aspiration is very rare so there is no reason to suppose it would happen again. Was he in distress during pushing because of being big? It would need to be an independent midwife to be able to have medical responsibility which I think would necessitate a homebirth. Though a doula could've helped you work through all of this.

I can hardly bear how much hurt women carry about their birth experiences.

Tas' suggestion of getting your GP involved could be helpful. Your supervisor of midwives should've met with you and not just scrawled in your notes.

 

[PeanutBean]

Nomore going into a natural labour feeling this way could very well have a very detrimental effect on the labour (even before we get into your emotions after). It's fear hormones like adrenalin that affect progression and can shut off labour altogether so I would imagine your likelihood of ending with a section would be quite a bit higher anyway.

Try your GP as he/she could maybe get you seen by a mental health professional.