Mother of all conception months Graduates

[molly85]

lol im always good for nothing i am just not programmed for early nights. 8pm is already a late enough bedtime for abby

 

[molly85]

PB thats a pain, mine hates damp so was ok but i think i did loosew the whole top layer over a week , it would have annoyed me otherwise the bit matt did looks dodgy

 

[NOMORENUMBERS]

you see in the last few months we have tried:

naughty chair
taking away toys including his bath (in fact when he hits he goes no bath )
saying if you are good we will do x y z (park, baking, see nanny)
bribing

he understands that if he misbehaves (mostly in being violent) then something will happen, tv will be switched off, laptop taken from him, no treats, no toys, no bath, naughty corner, mummy ignoring him, mummy stopping playtime and doing housework instead none of it has worked.

when he was little all i had to do was out him about a metre away from me and say no that is not acceptable and within a coupleof days the behaviour would be sorted.

i really think that i need to get him tested by the health visitor to see if he is on the autistic spectrum and discuss whether his behavour is linked. he knows full well that he will be punished if he hits but he still does it, he doesnt care. he takes me to his naughty chair, he says bye bye mumma when we were punishing him by leaving theroom he totally knows the consequence of his actions he just doesnt care. the worst punishment i tried was the taking away of things because once he had lost everything he didnt care

he sounds like a right terror but it is literally the only problem we have with him but for me trying to get your own way with violence getting violent when someone says no is a right biggy for me
might google it tonight

 

[molly85]

ah i see what hes doing hes picking his punishment so the same punishment eachtime may not work. does he insist on routine? i seem to remember thats big with autism, my cousin has aspergers but i have never experienced any problems with him. i dnt see him every day tho

 

[tas1]

Kate i think you should get him tested and take it from there. I think the sooner you do it the better it will be especially before baby comes.

I never resented my OH much when i had Caden but this time i can feel the hate and thats really bad. There are some days he comes in from work and just sits there so i have to do everything and i hate him. I hate that i feel this way but ive tried telling him and asking shouting for help but nothing. Maybe thinks will get better..

God ive just seen someone walk down my drive again,ran upstairs to look but nowhere to be seen. Im sick of this i dont feel safe anymore

xx

 

[vbaby3]

Hi everyone!
Nomore,I really wouldn't have any more advice either really,sorry.
We do the taking away of something they love and the naughty corner too and it works for us.

Enjoying dh's hols so far,even though we've done nothing too exciting!
Weather is meant to be good tomorrow so we're heading down to dublin to the zoo in the morning
My dh has said he will do night feeds for his whole 2 wks off and I can get up then when the boys waken
He knew the broken sleep was killing me,so I'll happily get up at 7am if I've slept through.
Teagan is still waking at 4ish,wee madam

Madcat,I know I sound like a broken record,but I still can't believe your dh would just blatantly lie there and sleep on at wk ends when you get up every single time!That is 1 of the main plus points of formula feeding,you shouldn't have to do all the feeds.How bloody selfishI would seriously kick his hole!!!
I suppose the fact Bailey is sleeping through at least will make things easier,but I think sometimes the more sleep we get the more we want lol!
I used to say I'd happily get up at 5.30 or 6am if I didn't have to do nightfeeds,but I know after a couple wks of 5.30 am 6am starts I 'd be saying I'll be happy when she sleeps til 7.30!!!

 

[NOMORENUMBERS]

yeah he loves a routine but he doesnt panic if he doesnt get to do it if that makes sense, like he has a routine in the morning which if i described would be longer than the posts i already made put together lol but if we go up to dh's mums or have to go out quickly in the morning he doesnt get aggitated at all.

i quickly googled it and a lot of people were talking about their child not caring about their punishment even though they were consistent etc etc and the general consensus is that the punishment chosen isnt the one that sticks a chord with the child.

i dont know maybe he is bored and frustrated i have been in so much pain and tired the last couple of weeks we have been kind of doing the same things day in day out . . . he still doesnt talk too good either . . . it has to be said that it cant be a coincidence that all morning he was being a demon child then i take him out on an unplanned trip around town, then took him shopping and he was an absolute angel and then we get back and instantly demon child again - he has been good ever since we started baking - something we havent done for a while . . . .

doesnt account for when you simply say no to him though . . . .

thanks for all your suggestions ladies! xkx

 

[molly85]

deffinatly sounds like he hasenergy to expell. I know your in pain but can you get him out to run some off each day say to the park?

 

[loopylollipop]

Nomore I have only just see your post about your autistic spectrum worries so cant give any advice as such but if you are concerned take him to your GP. In our area the school nurse has to refer which is very irritating as a GP that you cant make direct referrals as this would be quicker and it obviously depends how good the school nurse is and whether they take him seriously. Ooo though - is he at school yet???!! If preschool (which I am thinking he is now...) then speak to your Health Visitor too.

It is quite difficult to diagnose and it can be very frustrating for parents to get through the system - as with most other things it would seem from the experiences on here

love to all, still trying to catch up. Although now have internet access finding it difficult to get up to loft room to use it and find it really hard to post using my phone

 

[NOMORENUMBERS]

lol he walked around town for three hours this afternoon, we only stopped to have a picnic and even then it was only for 15 mins . . . if it hadnt started to pour down we would have been out for longer. i think he hates the new flat, i hate it, dh hates it so why wouldnt leo hate it, now we can afford to get him into some classes i might google what is going on around the area, i took him to an art class once . . . absolute nightmare he hated it lol i was that embarrased mum with screaming baby . . . oh oh oh he has never been swimming before . . . that is normally a good one for knackering and enteraining isnt it . . . . he loves water . . . . hmmmmm

sorry thinking out loud lol

 

[Ozzieshunni]

I hate miscommunication! I went to the BFing support group today.......and no one told me that that BFing support worker had gone on annual leave! It was just me and another woman there. I realized how big Alex is though. Her little girl was 6 weeks and TINY compared to my not so wee man!

 

[molly85]

lol how big is he these days?

 

[NOMORENUMBERS]

lol i hate miscommunication too! how hard is it to say the consultant is on holiday your appointment is going to be a waste of time! lol

aw bless him getting a big boy!

 

[MADLYSBOYS]

Evening Ladies :wave: just catching up

Madcat Charlie is on cow&gate and once we switched milk to cow&gate it seemed to help a great deal... that and the combo of MAM bottles and gaviscon has settled him so much we still have crap times but overall a different baby ... so glad Bailey has settled on it too My HV said its one of the least richest formulas on the market and some babies cant stomach the richer formulas

Ozzies your thread has certainly caused some debate in baby club Honestly I think one of the posters who got on her high horse owt to come back when shes had her second baby in pinks words `she might have chilled out a little` and for `one of those nights`

NOMORE your post about harry potter in the cupboard also made me laugh .... I am realllllllllly tempted to start a `who breaks the rules when it comes to been a Mummy` thread

Pink your not a bad Mummy I confess to dropping Oliver in his moses basket when he was a few weeks old I was holding the basket in front of me about to go down our stairs I had one handle in each of my hands and I passed one handle into the other hand (so I had both handles in the same hand!) to switch on the light only the handle missed and the basket fell apart and Oliver rolled out on the landing and ended up face down He was fine if a little at finding himself on his face but sadly I was not I couldnt stop I got over it and just never attempted to carry his basket in that way again Its a learning curve it doesnt matter if its your 1st,2nd,3rd or 4th babe we all make mistakes we are only human GOODNESS I JUST REALISED BABY CLUB WOULD SHOOT ME DOWN FOR THIS ONE

for a crap night Peanut sounds like you have a busy day hope you managed to put your feet up a little

 

[MADLYSBOYS]

NOMORE we are having problems with Oliver too right now mainly with his behaviour

Our current attempt at controlling this is a `chore chart`

He has `four` chores he needs to do each day

1. I must dress myself
2. I must walk safely when I am outside
3. I must go to bed when I am asked
4. I must speak to people nicely and use my manners

The main problems we are having are

1. Oliver refuses to get dressed without a battle, his particular favourite at the minute is complaining his clothes dont fit and they hurt basically this is so we dress him .... big battle getting ready for school on a morning.
2. Oliver likes to run off in public places or jump around on the kerb edge he can tell you why he shouldnt do it `I might get knocked down` etc etc but he still does it .... I have resorted to getting a wrist strap with the threat it will go on if he attempts to run off, I tie it to the buggy handle, seems to be working although god help me if I actually had to carry out the threat .... I mean I would follow the threat through but my boy is a big boy and so strong am sure I would have a battle on my hands
3. Oliver can `mess around` for up to an hour when its time for bed generally just up and down, going to loo twenty times and refusing to go to bed at all at points
4. He is damn cheeky at the minute and has an answer for everything .... he responds to things with threats of violence and shouts and yells

His `chores` are of a positive slant as in they say `I must` not `Do not do`

He can `earn` 28 tick a weeks (4 chores x7 days) and must get 27 or 28 so hes allowed one cross in order to still get his treat. If he gets two crosses no treat and if he reaches 3 crosses the next day after the third cross has been given hes grounded ... the chart still continues at this stage and for every cross given after that he gets a further days grounding.

Treats can be what you want them to be ... we have a box and if we want to give a specific prize ie a day out or whatever we write that on a piece of paper and put it in the box .... or we write several treats on several bits of paper but them in the box and he picks one out

Grounding - NO WII, dsi or laptop (this kills him especially the WII) no playing out, no days trips and if hes grounded on shopping day no treats from the supermarket which means he then has no treats for the week unless he `earns` them!

We are doing well .... he got two three crosses last week however and was grounded yesterday then he decided to laugh at me when I told him off and then he decided to throw his clothes into the shower whilst DH was showering so they were wringing wet through which resulted in him been grounded today .... not a happy bunny I can tell you especially when he asked for an ice-cream from the van and I reminded him he was grounded!

 

[molly85]

Madly see my new journal its the "the Naughty Mummy" bit on siggy. I thought about this ages ago then when you said it thought what the hell lol

 

[tas1]

Madly im thinking of doing arewards chart and Caden has the same issues and abit like not eating his tea or picking his toys up,he doesnt run off as I've scared him he will get taken away from mummy and mummy won be able to find him! And at 3yrs old I can nit believe the chat back I get some things are so funny but I have to hold it in!
Xx

 

[NOMORENUMBERS]

madly that sounds absolutely fantastic i am thinking a reward chart may help, i left him in his naughty chair for 5 minutes each time as opposed ot 2 mins as per super nanny by about 4pm he was really starting to not want to go in his naughty chair i would say you dont want to go in your naughty chair do you, you only have one more chance after this and you WILL be going in . . he would say no please mumma so maybe the increased amount of time is making him actually care about not wanting to go in, my dh has always said 2 mins doesnt seem enough he doesnt care about 2 mins maybe increasing the time to a less tolerable amount is going to work? he was much more well behaved later this evening than he had been all day

i think it am going to do the whole keep him majorly distracted all day, make an effort to do different things whilst we are at home such as baking (he loves cooking!) and to keep him in his corner longer and obviously keep with the praise for good things and offering treats if we do good all day (so yeah bribing lol) i am thinking that although that is a lot of methods rolled into one i am thinking that leo is obviously a little bit complex and will need different methods depending on what the situation is like pb said earlier throwing a toy take the toy away, being violent naughty corner etc etc

it might just be the fact he has been better behaved the last couple of hours and in bed the last hour but man i feel so much better now lol

 

[MADLYSBOYS]

Molly I love your new journal ... you should post a link for it on Ozzies thread in baby club the poster on her `high horse` will have a field day

 

[NOMORENUMBERS]

tas i know what you mean about not wanting to laugh lol leo earlier when he realised that if he hit me he would be in his corner for a loooooong time he hit his bear turned to me and went "mumma, i hit bear" the way he said it i just wanted to go oh hun you are sooo cute, i just went do you think you should give bear a hug to apologize, yes mumma andhe did was so blinking cute! it wouldnt have been so cute had it been me he hit though!

ha ha baby club, the particular woman is making a stir again on another thread today in 3rd tri she must be really bored