Mother of all conception months Graduates

[gilz82]

Eh Peanut i don't think they are allowed to start counting after your leave, i'm pretty sure it has to be the end of your mat leave. You must feel like the extra mat pay is now almost a double edged sword

 

[madcatwoman]

Aw Madcat that's so nice about your FIL, but major pain in the arse about your cot!! Was that one of your sale bargains?

Vbaby hope you find Orans shoe, i was all for going back to Mothercare yesterday cos i was convinced they had left the messy bag part out of my changing bag. Repacked it all to take it back and found that i'd actually scrumpled the messy bag up with the rubbish and stuck it in the rubbish bag. Thankfully i hadn't put the rubbish out yet, so i hope Oran's shoe isn't away in yours.

I've just found out that if this little man decides to make an unplanned/early appearance into the world i'm likely to be on my own for labour. My OH is getting sent to work up past Inverness for the forseeable future, which is at least 4.5 hours away from us in decent traffic.

My MIL must have just heard this news cos she told me that if needed she could take me to the hospital, but she wouldn't be coming in cos she can't cope with that. Had to bite my tongue to stop myself saying if that's as helpful as you are going to be never mind i'll drive myself there when the time comes!!

yes it was one of our sale bargains

our OH's getting sent away to work is a real pain, and your MIL 's not much help, oh bloody hell, you'll be going by ambulance at this rate!.
I told my DH to email his dad&uncle(his bosses) to tell them that from the end of march till the foreseable future not to send him away anywhere, and to try and keep him as local as possible( which is never local really).... we're in north wales, they call birmingham local!.

 

[DaretoDream]

9 days til my first tri scan

 

[vbaby3]

Yay for your scan dare!!

Peanut you have far more reason to wallow than I do!Don't know how you copeI have sailed thru compared to you.x

Aw gilz,thats shit you oh will be so far away.But chances are if you're anything like me,or madly or peanut he'll have plenty of time to get back to you.
They say 1st labours are approx 10-12hrs(or way longer) so if you call him asap he should make it in time,although you could be doing with someones support until he gets there.
Will your sister or close friend go in with you if thats the case?

 

[gilz82]

My sister will come with me if i happen to go into labour at a time she's not a work. She's a pharmacist so is legally in charge of the shop, so it can't stay open if she's not there, but she can't just shut it to leave early either.

I wasn't being super optimistic that i would have short labour, but i hadn't planned letting my OH know i was in labour til it was properly established, like no chance of false starts etc, as i'd hate for him to drop everything, drive like a loony and get home and it be a false start.

How long do you think you need to wait to know its the "real" thing if you know what i mean as far as labour is concerned?

 

[PeanutBean]

For me labour was easy because my waters broke so one way or another that baby was coming out in the near future. If you are getting checked I would say at 3cm definitely get him home but if you ARE quick then that might not be soon enough. You can hang around at 1cm for days though but the intensity and frequency of the contractions should tell you if this is the real thing.

I do feel it is a double edged sword Gilz and I am already trying to work out how we could find £2k to get me out of it if there is a chance! I guess we could borrow of my parents if it came down to it. It would be worth it the right job came up and they couldn't wait for me. It's psychological really, I just feel like I had the hope of freedom (even if it was a long shot given it didn't work out last time) but now that's dashed. I suppose I could return and just be really crap and uninvolved! It just sucks. 90% of my job is excellent, I love the people I work with (outside the organization) and I get involved with so many amazing things. But this past year has been dogged with endless crap thrown at me from HO ruining it all. I SHOULD be happy in this job as I was in the first year or two instead I feel like I'm never going to work anywhere else. Sigh. Moan. Sorry...

 

[vbaby3]

Its hard to say gilz,coz some ladies have 3 hr 1st labours but most of us don't.
I was in early labour for 36 hr before established labour,and then established labour was 11 hrs!
They call it established labour when you hit about 3cm's,they will admit you and give you pain relief at that stage,its kinda the point of no return!!
Hopefully you have pre labour signs so then when the real thing happens you can tell the difference.
I think for most ladies 3/4 cm's is pretty painful and you start to think of pain relief,Maybe at that point you could get someone to go in with you and get checked and once you know its established you could send for him,
Most of the time there is still hrs left,so oh should still make it back to you.
Or even you might just know yourself its happening and call for him,and so what if it doesn't fully happen til the nxt day,better a day early than a day late for his sons arrival into the world!!

 

[molly85]

Peanut pretty sure once you back from Mat leave on holiday or not you are back so it starts the day mat leave finishes. we have tax year holiday so I would tag it on the end all 4 weeks. so then you only have to do 2 mnths and apply for flexie hours if you don't already have them say part time? Deffinatly read way to much on this now yawn.

Gilz I feel ya pain sods law says I go into labour when Matts on days and can't leave work that would make abby 4 weeks early tho. its going to take hime half hour in good traffic to get here once he has cover enough to make u in go in to labour.

Ladies hows long do you get from getting to 3 minutes between contractions to needing to be at the hospital?

 

[vbaby3]

Thats another thing,I wouldn't put too much faith in timing the contractions!
With my 1st We were timing them and they were regular,only 5 mins apart,so we went into hospital,I was thinking I must be 4-5cm's!!
Well I was 1 cm,and stayed that way for 36hrs.
Nurse said the contractions were there and regular but they weren't strong enough to actually be doing anything to my cervix.
That made me so confused.
My advice would be to go in when you can no longer talk thru contractions and you really feel like you need some pain relief.

 

[Ozzieshunni]

Hmmm, I think I'll apply for the surestart grant. I was told I didn't qualify, but hey, it's worth a shot!

 

[vbaby3]

its crap worrying about timing,hope it all works out ok for us all.
My dh could be 2/3 hrs away too,and considering last labour was 50mins!
I was very lucky before,had a show and started early labour on a sunday with shay so he was there.
And with oran I had a show at 3 in the aftnoon(i was out shopping!)
Started getting mild pains soonafter but dh was home by 6pm and we didn't need to head to hospital til 11pm,so good timing all round lol!!
This baby is due good fri so dh will be off then and for the whole wk after coz its builders hols,so fingers crossed this lo follows in her brothers footsteps and is just a couple days late(then maybe I can still go see peter kay lol!!!)

 

[PeanutBean]

Well HR have pointed out the terms in the maternity policy, goodness it's almost as if the policy was written especially for me! Though I'm sure that can't be the case even though it was written after I had given me planned dates and leave... And I thought she wanted rid of me! I think it must be the case that where the employer is offering additional pay they can stipulate any terms they like. After all I could always refuse it and just have stat pay but the liklihood is there will be no other lovely job for me so probably better to take the pay and hope timing works out and put in place a contingency plan in case of an offer I can't refuse and paying my way out of the contract.

I agree that contractions timings are tricky. Mine never got closer than every 4 or 5 mins, even when I was on the drip, they just got stronger then. They started at 5 minutes apart shortly after my waters broke and stayed that way for 35 hours when I delivered. I was 3 cm 14 hours after and still 3 cm 20 something hours later. So mine were plenty regular but not quite strong enough to be doing enough. I think I was 4cm when they put me on the drip. God I hate remembering this crap...

 

[madcatwoman]

oh god, its so hard to know when to call your OH when hes working so far away!

 

[molly85]

damn so no real telling. not taht i want one bt Gilz c section 38 weeks what do you think lol?

 

[vbaby3]

Girls if you're unsure and don't wanna call dh unnecessarily maybe get someone else to drive you in and get checked,then they'll either send you back home or admit you,and then you can call him.
Though even if you're having a long pre labour,you might want dh/oh there with you regardless of it being established or not!

 

[gilz82]

damn so no real telling. not taht i want one bt Gilz c section 38 weeks what do you think lol?

Well that would certainly make things easier planning wise Molly

I suppose I could be worrying about nothing as there is still a big chance I'll have a section and if not they are going to set a date to induce me as I need to stop my blood thinning injections in advance. Sods law tho the jellybean will come when he's least expected!!

 

[PeanutBean]

Molly I think you asked about when to go in to hospital? The answer is as late as possible! The longer you're in the more likely there will be unnecessary interventions so it's always better to stay home until you really feel you can't manage or things feel very intense.

Walking back with Byron I've been thinking. If I handed in my notice to the full year on mat leave, which would take me to the end of March, then they'd have to pay me for the 14 days leave and bank holiday I'm taking at the end right). Plus I'd be owed a quarter of next year's leave which would be about 7 days. So that's 4 weeks of the 6 weeks full pay I'd have to give back. So I'd have to find 2 weeks full pay and 6 weeks at 10% so that would be more manageable if I had to borrow it. Not such a big deal then if something great did turn up. I really don't like the idea of being trapped, I'll be literally depressed all leave if I think I can't escape. Some things are worth getting into a bit of debt for.

Welcome to my inner workings: see hurdle, collapse in front of hurdle weeping, start thinking of ways round hurdle, fix on one method and cheer up only to find circumstances are totally different when said hurdle comes around anyway! I can always work on being so depressed I'm actually signed off sick when I'm due to return! I was miserable enough for it last time that's for sure.

 

[gilz82]

Aw Peanut I'm sure you'll get it all worked out by the time you have to go back.

I just got a phonecall and I now have a physio appointment on thursday at 11

Oh also any ladies who colour their hair, don't be tempted by the new Nice and Easy foam colouring, it's a giant pain in the ass. It took me longer to clean the crap off my face and neck than it did to do my hair!!

 

[madcatwoman]

Nice one gilz, will steer clear from the foam then (I'll stick with the usual). You dont look like your hair is dyed though!.

Sometimes i wonder if i feel braxton hicks-or not. theres moments when it feels like baby has perhaps stuck his head out a bit further and makes my tummy feel harder then usual, thats how i describe it. Hard, but i wouldnt say it feels like my tummy is tightening(?). could it be baby? or BH?.

well, we sacked toys r us off, and have once again ordered another cot from kiddicare this time, so lets hope we actually get this one!.

im so thirsty, darent drink a load now though at 7.45, i wont be off the loo all night!

 

[gilz82]

Oh Kiddicare are ok Madcat we ordered a cot mattress from them and it came within a couple of days

I don't usually colour my hair but I used to have highlights and the regrowth was killing me. It's actually naturally light brown so it's a bit darker than that just now.