Mum of girls who are split from FOB but still has contact..

[Laura--x]

What relationship does your daughter have with her father? Are they close? How often do they spend time together?

I split up from FOB when lo was 6 months old and he does have regular contact ( well did but we've been away from home since july and he hasnt seen her ) but he used to have her sat afternoon-sun afternoon.

I am the best mother i can be. We do things ALLL the time, shes a very happy little girl and i know how much she loves me, we're like best friends.

I dont know why but lately im constantly thinking about the future. I worry so much that as she grows up shes going to grow really close to her dad and possibly want to spend more time with him ( than me maybe? )

I have absolutely no reason whatsoever as to why i think liek this, self insecurites more than anything, i know shes definately a mommys girl right now and always has been. I just know that father-daughter bond i had with my dad and i was very much a daddys girl. Although not sure if this will be affected considering he sees her two days a week.

Im jsut looking for some peronal stories and scenerios really.

 

[FiNZ]

Hi there

My daughters are 12 and 10, and sadly for them, their father is not a great father at all. He thinks he is. Anyway, my 12 year old over the last year has seen him for what/who he really is, and she doesn't spend much time with him at all anymore. My 10 year old is going through a stage now of thinking he's great, and she sees him every weekend. My eldest daughter went through this a couple of years ago, too.

I understand how you're feeling, because I worried so much that because he can just pull out his wallet and buy them things I can't, that they'd think he was so great. Also, he gets them takeaways every time he's with them, so of course that's better than having home-cooked meals here.

Anyway, my husband has said to me that my youngest daughter will probably figure out for herself like my eldest has, just what he's like (selfish, drug-user, lazy etc etc) and the more I think about HER feelings, the sadder I feel about it. I'd love him to pack up and move to the other side of the world and leave us alone, but that's just me being selfish!

If your daughter's father is a good man and a good father, then really, she is lucky. Everyone deserves a great father (and mother) and I feel sad for my girls that one has realised already that she doesn't have one, and the other probably will when she gets a little older and wiser.

I'm so grateful that my girls have an amazing step-father who loves them like his own and treats them like his own.

I think my point is (sorry, I ramble on a lot sometimes!!) is that your daughter will learn as she gets older how much love and time you put into her, and that bond will never be broken.

 

[princess_1991]

Hiya

Just wanted to give it ya from the other perspective,
My dad split from my mom when I was 4, He moved to Spain and we stayed in England, when we were younger he would come over a couple of times a year and we would go to him, tbh when I was with him I always wanted my mom, I was used to being around my mom rather then someone I didn't really know and who didn't really know me,

As I got older I couldn't be arsed with him more and more cuz he couldn't be arsed with me, he stopped coming over as often and I saw him maybe once a year, even one point going 4 years without seeing him,

My mom wasn't and isn't the best parent in the world but I know she's there for me when I needed or need her unlike he was,

My mom brought us up on benefits and my dad was loaded he'd flash his cash when we were younger but as I got older (im kinda ashamed to say) i used him for his
Money, it was all he was good for.

I got married last year and didn't want him walking me down the aisle, I decided he wasn't an important part of my life to be honoured with that, he threw his dummy out the pram, didnt turn up to the wedding and hasn't spoke to me since,

That's his loss not mine, he's missed out on a lot of my life and is still missing out, when we have babies he'll miss put on his grandkids lives too,

Basically what I'm trying to say ladies is your kiddies will know whos been there for them, they'll know who was there to put plasters on cuts and gives cuddles after nightmares, all you can do is your very best and you kids will recognise that

My mom brought me my brother and my sister up single handed and I'm so proud of her, it is possible and one day your kids will be proud of you too

Xx