Mums/Moms after Recurrent Losses (MARL) - Come join us!

[dairymomma]

Viet-I don't think I've had a vanishing twin prior to this pg because my hormones levels have never risen like this with any of my other pregnancies-successful or otherwise. I'm still not sure how to take this. I think I'm wishing for twins so badly because there's a part of me that sort of feels like I deserve twins after all I've gone through. Sort of a 'two for one special' if you will. (DH said as much the other night too.) I know that's not how it works but the emotional side of a PARL lady isn't always logical, ya know? And since I'm convinced it's a twin (viable or not), I'm sure the report will come back saying it's a hematoma or a cyst or something benign like that.

Starry-I am sorry to say I missed the post about your son's diagnosis. As others have said, at least there's a diagnosis now though and you can get him the therapy he needs. And even though it's worse than you expected, he sounds like he's on the higher functioning end of that category so there may be the possibility of him being self-sufficient to a certain extent. Who knows where your son's path will lead too?

AFM-I've never been SO glad to be puking. And NOT bleeding. Haven't had any discharge since I emptied my bladder at my scan on Thursday and no clots for 4 days now. I mentioned my fear of a bladder infection to the dr because it would burn when I'd pee in the evenings but my urine test came back negative for everything except slightly elevated ketones which can be normal at this stage. And since the bleeding/discharge stopped, it's stopped burning when I wee so they must be related? :shrugs:

 

[wookie130]

Dairy- So happy you're having lots of reassuring symptoms...boo to the bladder infection, however.

AFM- I don't know if I posted anything earlier, but last week we ended up back in the hospital AGAIN WITH Oscar as he was in further respiratory distress due to a cold. Since he's had the RSV and pneumonia, it's like he's very prone to wheezing episodes, and then he can't maintain his own oxygen. This very well may lead to permanent breathing meds. Ugh. We're home, and he's happily rolling all over, and is THIS close to crawling. He's big and strong, and loves to move! He was quite fussy yesterday...but he's yet to pop a tooth, and I think we're on the cusp of teething. Ugh. I'm not ready for that.

As for Ms. Hannah, she's doing really well. We love our new daycare provider...she goes above and beyond for the kids, and we feel really good about leaving the kiddos there. Hannah's talking a blue streak now, and says some pretty funny stuff. Right now, her thing is to play "doctor" with her little toy medical bag of stuff, and I was bending over the bathtub last night, getting their water ready, and I turn around, and there's Hannah, pretending to look at my bum with a toy eye scope. LOL!!!!! Potty training is also going really well...she goes almost every time I put her on the potty, but she's still wet in between potty times, so she's not quite ready to try undies yet.

Anyway, how are everybody else's kiddos doing?

 

[dairymomma]

Wookie-my little girl just cut her first tooth. She's been working on the two front bottom teeth for a good month now and FINALLY she got one to pop through enough that you can both see and feel it. She's also starting to scootch a bit on her tummy but only if she sees something she REALLY wants-like a baggie of jelly beans... Not a big fan of tummy time though and she usually rolls to her back within about 5 min unless she bawls herself to sleep in that time. And she's my garbage disposal kid. She's eating anything and everything. From whole avocados mashed and fed to her by mom to quinoa/chicken dinner (not her fave but she'll eat it if mixed with enough applesauce. ) to weeds her big sibs oh-so-nicely bring her to pages out of comic books left within her reach...It's time to start policing what's within her grasp because if she can get her fingers on it, it's gonna be in her mouth in 2.2 seconds.

AFM-miscarried at least part of my pregnancy over the weekend. Last night I had a couple hours of cramps and bleeding, passed a wad of *something* this morning, and while things have settled down for the most part now, I'm still not sure if I'm going to miscarry the baby too. Waiting for the clinic to open so I can call the dr and get an ultrasound done to see what's happening. I'm not concerned as I know it's likely this was just the blighted ovum twin (and I was expecting that to come out as I've never carried a BO past 8 weeks. I was 8 weeks yesterday so seemed likely it would happen) but I wouldn't mind a quick check on bubs anyway.

 

[dairymomma]

Update: Just got home from the dr. The supposed empty sac now has a fetal pole and yolk sac and has grown since my last ultrasound 1.5 weeks ago but it's measuring 3 weeks smaller than bubs so the dr isn't too hopeful for that one. (His words were along the lines of 'if it is successful then this is a pregnancy for the record books.') An ultrasound showed where the bleeding is likely coming from though no explanation for why it started and everything else looks normal. Bubs had a nice strong hb and the sonographer even got it clear enough for us to have a listen. So as scary as it is to see all of this stuff, things are holding steady for the moment.

 

[dairymomma]

For those of you who haven't seen the news on the PARL thread, unfortunately, my good scan high yesterday lasted exactly 4 hours. At that point, it was over. I miscarried both babies last night. The current thought is that the smaller baby triggered a miscarriage and when it detached it pulled the bigger baby with it. There is a chance something genetically was wrong with both babies though as I had some very odd tissue that came out so we're getting it tested to see. Doing okay. Sad, but okay.

 

[wookie130]

Dairy- I responded on the other thread, but again, I am so very sorry. You just cannot seem to catch a break with this stuff. No one deserves what you've been through.

 

[Starry Night]

Dairy - I'm so sorry. I didn't visit this thread for awhile so I was getting excited about the twin talk and then I saw your sad news. It's so unfair.

 

[petitpas]

Oh dairy, I'm so very sorry big big hugs to you and your dh Xxx

 

[petitpas]

Ginny, I was told that my steroid dose (25mg/day) was too high to take whilst breastfeeding. That is why I weaned J at around 20 months old. Just a few days after our last feed I had a bfp but it turned out to be a blighted ovum. So the age gap between our two is just over 2.5 years.

 

[vietmamsie]

Dairy - just catching up on here and saw your news I am so sorry... another disappointment. I hope you can get some closure on this latest pregnancy from having some tests done. Where will you go from here?

 

[dairymomma]

The plan was to see the dr in 6-8 weeks (after AF) and set up an hsg or a scope to check on my uterus but unfortunately, finances may not allow for that. I have to talk to my insurance company and see if either option would be covered under my plan before I decide whether or not to proceed with that. I will be seeing the dr either way though as we had the tissue sent off for testing and I want to go over the results. I also want to discuss his treatment for hyper-fertility as I really feel that's why I'm having a bit more trouble in the last few years sustaining a pregnancy. But in the interim, I'm working with a naturopath/nutritionist to balance my hormones and lose weight, and I'm adding CoQ10 and a fish oil to help with egg quality. Other than that, I'm just waiting. I've been told absolutely NO pg for at least 3 months (esp if I opt for the hsg) and weight loss would be a good way to keep my mind off of ttc for that time. So that's what I'm doing...

AFM-LO is popping two teeth and it's been a crabby few days. Whenever my kids have started teething, esp those first few teeth, they've always come down with sinus/head colds too and LO is no different. She's cranky, snot nosed, and been running mild fevers off and on during the day. Poor girl. I feel for her. I've got my annual Spring Allergy Sinus Cold Thingy so I'm most in bed with sinus headaches atm. DH has been a trooper this week and has picked up extra work for me as I've been home on drs orders. He's also been doing extra kid care duty, taken over mealtimes, and helped with more housework than usual because I've been recuperating. We were supposed to go out on a date today (I planned it as a Thank You to him) but my sinus issues and cranky LO canned the idea. I was so looking forward to it too...Boo. Oh well, maybe in two weeks we can try again.

 

[LeeC]

Hi Viet. The weaning is going ok, he is completely off night feeds and settles no problem, I think we had 2 or 3 nights of crying and then he was over it. He still asks for a morning feed but I have been cutting these down too, this week starts the no booby rule, I think a lot of the time it's more for comfort than hunger. He was sniffing around me earlier so I gave him a carrot lol lol...

 

[Starry Night]

My LOs seem to get diaper rashes when it's time for teething. My son got horrible red blisters that would sometimes bleed and he would get diarrhea. So far my daughter has only gotten some general redness. Last time she had one small red sore but medicated cream got rid of it pretty quick. My son is more sensitive overall though.

And I used fish oil with my daughter's pregnancy. I started right after my d&c to help with egg production. It was the one thing I changed between my miscarriages and successful pregnancy. I had looked into CoQ10 but the cost intimidated me.

Right now I'm still dealing with crazy periods. It's 10 months since my daughter was born and things still have not gone to normal. I'm not concerned about the actual cycle lengths as irregularity is something I've dealt with on and off my whole post-puberty life. But it's the flows thesmelves. My first couple of post partem periods made me feel like I was bleeding out. Now I get 3 days of spotting so light I could just wear a liner and there is this black and brown dead stuff. Reminds me of my post miscarriage periods. I will get these clawing cramps that make me feel like I'm being ripped apart. But then I get a heavy flow on day 4 and 5 and then go back to spotting. It still is the 7 days I've always had but it's just so quirky and painful. Can't sleep without painkillers.

I THINK I got ov signs this time as I had some ewcm about 2 weeks ago, but up until this point I was pretty certain I wasn't even fertile anymore. The black goop makes me think I was/am still retaining some stuff from the pregnancy. I did have a hemmorage when she was born.

Just sick of feeling like junk. I want my body back. Can't imagine how stressed I'd be if I actually wanted to TTC again. Today was a heavy flow day and could barely function. I was aching and barely concious when my husband got home from work.

 

[dairymomma]

Starry-sorry AF is being so odd and nasty. Mine were goofed up after LO's birth and I'd have spotting/brown light bleeds every 2-3 weeks after my post partum bleeding. When she finally settled down and I had my first 'regular' period, BAM! I got pg the first time. We're doing what we can atm to make sure I don't end up with a 3rd pg in a row without a period as I NEED a break. I have to say I am thinking as you are about ttc right now in that I'm glad I'm not doing it for a bit now.

AFM-Been weepy/wobbly the last two days so hoping my hCG is dropping and the hormones are settling again. Feeling so-so otherwise but my energy is coming back (maybe these gorgeous warm sunny days are part of it?) so I'm gradually doing more each day. Hoping to start exercising in the next few weeks too. LO is growing and cutting teeth and learning to eat chunkier foods. We're currently working on introducing a sippy cup but she's not liking it thus far. I'm not pushing it but she keeps wanting to drink from a cup and I thought getting one with handles and lid would be good.

 

[petitpas]

Dairy, you can get special less spill kids mugs if need be. Doidy mugs I think they are called?

Starry, what a horrible witchy af! Can you get checked out?

 

[Starry Night]

I should but I'm sick of doctors. And I've dug around a bit and I think a lot of my dizziness is from migraines. I was starting to get dizzy and fuzzy lip feelings. I know I'm not diabetic (was tested recently) and I'm also super super stressed. I've been dealing with massive migraines but I think some of that may be because I ran out of my anti-depressants. I know you're not supposed to stop without seeing a doctor. My prescription ran out and I just haven't gone to get more but I'm going on Friday. Got to quit the caffeine too. I used to cut it out but have been slacking lately and am addicted. Have noticed a definite correlation between my migraines and caffeine consumption. Had multiple mugs of coffee today and a can of Coke and the dizziness is through the roof and my AF ended days ago.

I think I will ask to be referred to a gynaecologist if things don't settle in a month or two. My body has always been wonky so I need to give it some time to resettle. I also get sore and infected down there with every AF. I'm not itchy, just sore. Maybe it's all my bathroom trips due to the heavy bleeding and it gets agitated from the wiping. Sorry, tmi! lol

Just dealing with so much right now: my son's autism diagnosis, trying to deal with getting therapies lined up (and stressing about how we will pay for it); and now it looks like my DH's work may be going out of business; worrying about my DD and watching for autism signs (she seems normal but what do I know); and my kids were exposed to the chickenpox over Easter so I am constantly watching for symptoms which could then force me to cancel all the therapies that are finally starting (waited months and months for them).

Anyways,

I think my DD finally said "mommy" for real today. She's been making "mum-mum" sounds for awhile now, but today she was really clingy and would grab at me and cry "mommy!!!" with her arms outstretched to me. I would then pick her up and she would point to where I keep her bottles and she'd cry. She normally has 4 bottles in a day but today she had 6 plus an extra meal. Growth spurt, I guess.

 

[petitpas]

Oh Starry, you have a lot on your plate right now. Not the best time to come off your antidepressants You need to look after yourself, too, so that you can look after your family. Fingers crossed that the pox evades your family for now or that it breezes through very quickly.

 

[dairymomma]

Starry-I agree with petitpas. Sounds like you have a boatload of stuff hitting all at once. I'd focus on one thing at a time and just work through it. And I'm not much help with the 'down under' issues. I haven't had soreness, per se, but it does tend to feel like I've been riding a horse or something because my pelvis is mildly sore. Not overly so and I can do my daily work without pain killers but it just aches a touch for the first few days of AF.

AFM-doing okay considering. Still have my wobbles but it's to be expected. Trying to get my house cleaned up as I've got 15+ preschoolers coming here on Tuesday and I'm thinking of what their moms will say if they saw how messy things are. But I'm making headway and I love how much space I'm 'discovering' that's been hidden beneath/behind piles, boxes, bags, and such. (We've been crammed into about 1/3 of our total floor space because we are currently working on the rest of our house and I can't send everything out into storage hence the piles and bags and bins, etc in every corner) I'm downsizing the 'junk' too and after several boxes and bags of stuff went to the local thrift store I'm feeling very light indeed.

 

[Starry Night]

I think that's great you are able to get rid of stuff like that. I'm such a pack rat. I love the idea of being more minimalist but then I go through my junk and think "ah, isn't that nice, I could really use that" and then back into the closet or box it goes. Though I think it is strange how self-concious we mothers get. We are always apologizing to each other for our mess when the reality is if you have little ones there is always going to be clutter. I mean, even if i do an awesome decluttering, the mess is back within minutes. I mean, you can't even tell I did anything!

And I agree with the "riding a horse" feeling about the 'down there' pain. ha ha That's kind of what it's like. And sure enough, soon as AF was done the pain went away. And I'm back on my anti-depressants now. It will take awhile for them to kick in again but mentally I feel more relaxed knowing that help is coming.

Also, tomorrow is the last day of the incubation period of chicken pox so I am hoping that means we're in the clear. Not starting to celebrate that one yet but definitely relaxing.

 

[dairymomma]

Quiet in here again. We must all be busy ladies. I know I am.

Just popped in with an update. LO is scooting around on her butt, trying to pull herself up to a stand, and just generally getting into everything she can reach. Keeps me on my toes that's for sure. And I just found out this weekend I may have a genetic clotting disorder that's not very common but it's known to cause m/c. My uncle just got tested for some clotting issues because he's suddenly throwing clots and his cardiologist and reg dr both missed this disorder. A nurse actually ordered the test but she knew about it since it's not the first time she's seen it even though it's a rare disorder. We're thinking my grandmother had it too and there's several family members who are getting tested now because of this but my uncle and his wife called my dad as soon as they got home from the dr because they know about my unexplained miscarriages and my unexplainable first tri bleeds. As soon as my dad get more info on it (likely in the next few months as my uncle isn't doing so well right now. He's got a clot in a lung and is pretty weak so my dad said he may not get to talk to my uncle more until early August), he'll send it on to me and I can go in for testing. If I do have it (and the signs thus far are showing it's highly likely) it'll be a HUGE answer and best of all, it's easily treatable. I'd likely be on a baby aspirin daily since I haven't had clotting issues thus far and I'd only have to add lovenox or heparin to my pg regimen. Also learned a few more tidbits of female family fertility history (say that 3 times fast...). My mom only has/had one functioning ovary (she had one removed a few years ago due to a grapefruit sized cyst in it and the surgeon said the other was undersized and all shriveled up) and my grandmother had fibriods so bad she finally had a full hysterectomy. (When they took her uterus out, the fibroid was the size of a basketball. ) So I've got a few more things to bring up with the dr now and a few more avenues to go down. FX I finally get some answers...