Mums of children with Autism

[anita665]

I have a few questions.

My son is 4 and has been refered to a mental health team as he has severe speech and language delays as well as obsessions and huge tantrums/rages.

I know that they are currently thinking of Autism but I'm a bit confused by some of the symptoms & I'm just not sure whether my son fits into that catagory.

So here goes...

Can children with Autism understand emotion and display affection? My son likes cuddles and knows if I'm upset and crying. Love is something he certainly understands.

Do they always not look people in the eye? DS will look me in the eye but doesn't with many other people.

How complex can the obsessions be? DS for example is obsessed with Santa. He will think about Santa for most of the day, every day. He spends his time looking in catalogues for everything santa could bring.

I guess what I'm asking is whether these symptoms have to be as cut & dry as they make out on some of the symptoms lists on websites? Can they vary at all?

 

[Marleysgirl]

Can children with Autism understand emotion and display affection? My son likes cuddles and knows if I'm upset and crying. Love is something he certainly understands.

Do they always not look people in the eye? DS will look me in the eye but doesn't with many other people.

Well we've just been referred for testing, and our son does both of these. It's taken a long while to get him to look us in the eye, and he still won't do it to other people.

I guess what I'm asking is whether these symptoms have to be as cut & dry as they make out on some of the symptoms lists on websites? Can they vary at all?

I don't think any website could give a categoric list of symptoms for Autism - its effects are so wide-ranging, that's why they renamed it as a Spectrum Disorder. Some children have some symptoms to some extent, very few show all. From what I understand, the testing/diagnosis is on the basis of a combination of behaviours.

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

I have a few questions.

My son is 4 and has been refered to a mental health team as he has severe speech and language delays as well as obsessions and huge tantrums/rages.

I know that they are currently thinking of Autism but I'm a bit confused by some of the symptoms & I'm just not sure whether my son fits into that catagory.

So here goes...

Can children with Autism understand emotion and display affection? My son likes cuddles and knows if I'm upset and crying. Love is something he certainly understands. Yes. My son does, he knows if people are upset or sad but he does not always know how to react, sometimes he will laugh when people are hurt or cry when he is happy. My son is VERY loving and always cuddling me and saying he loves me. He is affectionate and does understand simple emotions but does not always understand WHY they happen if you know what I mean? He knows he is happy/sad/angry but he cant always explain WHY he feels that way.

Do they always not look people in the eye? DS will look me in the eye but doesn't with many other people. Yes my son can make eye contact with me and family members but its certinily not as much as the average NT person would use during a conversation. With people he does not know as well his eye contact is limited.

How complex can the obsessions be? DS for example is obsessed with Santa. He will think about Santa for most of the day, every day. He spends his time looking in catalogues for everything santa could bring.
I know this one all to well! My son was obsessed with Thomas for 3 yrs, that faded then it turnt into Buzz lightyear, he has just changed recently to Austrailia and funnily enough Santa and he wears a santa hat all year long! He thinks everyone is just as interested as him!

I guess what I'm asking is whether these symptoms have to be as cut & dry as they make out on some of the symptoms lists on websites? Can they vary at all?

Hope that helps x

 

[dolores]

I have a few questions.

My son is 4 and has been refered to a mental health team as he has severe speech and language delays as well as obsessions and huge tantrums/rages.

I know that they are currently thinking of Autism but I'm a bit confused by some of the symptoms & I'm just not sure whether my son fits into that catagory.

So here goes...

Can children with Autism understand emotion and display affection? My son likes cuddles and knows if I'm upset and crying. Love is something he certainly understands.

Do they always not look people in the eye? DS will look me in the eye but doesn't with many other people.

How complex can the obsessions be? DS for example is obsessed with Santa. He will think about Santa for most of the day, every day. He spends his time looking in catalogues for everything santa could bring.

I guess what I'm asking is whether these symptoms have to be as cut & dry as they make out on some of the symptoms lists on websites? Can they vary at all?

My son was diagnosed in February 2012 - He is 4 years old - He does make eye contact and he shows me lots of love/affection and loves cuddling...

The symptoms don't have to be so clear cut...

My child has a few obsessions and his speach is coming on quite nicely now. The only issue is his social skills are very limited, doesnt like playing with other children and tend to play alone a lot.

From what you have described it does sound like autism...especially the obsessions and lack of speach

I hope all the best for you and your son as i know it can be very difficult with an autistic child.

 

[anita665]

Thanks so much for your answers. They've really helped.

I guess I felt he was somehow different but have never wanted to admit it. Autism is not something that had even crossed my mind so it came as a shock when it came up.

It's a bit like a puzzle and finally everything is starting to fit together.

 

[Menelly]

I have a few questions.

My son is 4 and has been refered to a mental health team as he has severe speech and language delays as well as obsessions and huge tantrums/rages.

I know that they are currently thinking of Autism but I'm a bit confused by some of the symptoms & I'm just not sure whether my son fits into that catagory.

So here goes...

Can children with Autism understand emotion and display affection? My son likes cuddles and knows if I'm upset and crying. Love is something he certainly understands.

Do they always not look people in the eye? DS will look me in the eye but doesn't with many other people.

How complex can the obsessions be? DS for example is obsessed with Santa. He will think about Santa for most of the day, every day. He spends his time looking in catalogues for everything santa could bring.

I guess what I'm asking is whether these symptoms have to be as cut & dry as they make out on some of the symptoms lists on websites? Can they vary at all?

As an autistic adult: Yes, we understand emotions and display affection. Heck, as we get older, we get married, have families, have relationships, have children, etc. With a good number of autistics it isn't a lack of ability to express emotion or affection, but that doing so becomes overwhelming quite quickly. And with emotional expression, sometimes we can lack the nuance that NT's seem to have in spades. As an example, I just did one of those "what emotion is this face showing" type tests. And I realized I pretty much see "happy/sad/embarassed/frustrated/angry". It had things like "desirous" and "inquisitive" and while I know what those words mean, I would have no clue how to distinguish someone else is feeling that way, and frequently lack the ability to explain that *I'm* feeling that way. I know my own "angry" and I can tell you "I'm angry" but if what I'm feeling doesn't fit into "happy/sad/embarassed/frustrated/angry" I might not be able to explain my feelings at all. Which then devolves into "frustrated".

Longer answer than you were looking for, I'm sure, but there ya go.

And for the eye contact? I *can* look people I genuinely care about in the eyes, but not for very long. It hurts. It makes me feel like my bones are going to explode. And because I'm spending quality brain energy trying to keep my bones from feeling explodey, I don't understand a word someone is saying when they try to force eye contact.

I can pull it off every so often with my husband, as long as he isn't trying to talk. I can pull it off if someone demands it, but then I don't have any language processing skills to understand them anymore. (I can look or I can listen, choose carefully.)

Santa can totally be an obsession. I've had some super complex obsessions (memorizing dosage recommendations for most psychiatric drugs in the PDR) to some pretty light ones (spent about 6 months learning to make cloth diapers.)

Good luck!

 

[JASMAK]

Autism is not one neat tidy category. My daughter has autism (I don't call her 'autistic') and she is more affectionate than most I know. She has PDD-NOS. i think individuals with Aspergers tend to have the hardest time, but I think it all depends on the person and how much the disease has affected them.