My brother in the delivery room... Am I weird?

[hope4bump]

Personally I would not have my brother there but like someone else said, each to their own... If you are both comfortable with the idea, go for it I don't think anybody would want to go at it alone, so I wish you only the best. PS: I do think it's awesome to have such a good bond with your brother x

 

[SarahDiener]

I think it's only uncomfortable. If I was alone, I'd possibly ask one of my brothers, it'd be really weird, but it's also weird showing my mum my foof, or a doctor for that matter! Plenty of families are nudists and see each others bits in saunas or bath houses, or beaches or whatever!

 

[chasemanzmum]

I myself am glad I have DH to be there at the c-section. Now if my brother were older and more mature and DH couldn't be there. Then that would be a different story. Just try as you can to give his SO some reassurances and stuff. Cause if you and your brother don't there may be some resentment. Or could tell her it will be practice for when they have one (dunno if that would seem insensitive or not).

 

[Gabber]

I see nothing wrong with it. Especially considering your circumstances. Try to not pay attention to people's judgements - it must make you feel like you have to explain the situation to them or justify your reasoning. Don't! You don't owe anyone anything. Plus, it's not like he wants to look at you down there - he even insinuated he didn't want to when you asked him to videotape. It sounds like you are very lucky to have such a supportive and loving brother.

 

[LoraLoo]

I think its unusual, but not weird or wrong x

 

[whatwillbe]

Im single and expecting , and my brother and his oh came to my scan with me, and he has also offerd to be at the birth with me too, it has to be better than going through labour alone and as long as he doesnt look down there i dnt mind him being there, i dont see a prob with it, ignore them ignorant people !

 

[veryfondoftea]

I personally would not want my little brother anywhere near the birthing room lol but that doesn't mean I think you're weird. It's your decision, go with what feels right for you.

 

[katherinegrey]

I personally wouldn't have my brother there, I don't even want my partner there though! I only want my mom and sister who have both been through it, I generally think men a little bit useless when you're in labour though and that's why, my dad and brother in law both fainted! It's totally personal choice though, a lot of people think I'm strange for wanting my mother and sister in place of my OH, my birth, my choice

 

[snowangel187]

I don't think it's weird. I have a friend whose dad attends her children's births. Your brother doesn't have to stand at your ankles! There's no reason he can't stand up by your head and help support you.. Maybe if you wanted pics or video that make him uncomfortable taking, have his girlfriend join you guys too..

 

[JCh]

That is so wonderful of him to offer, and if you have a good relationship with him - it will be really special. I'm planning on having my mom there, sorry to hear she passed away - honestly, I think my brother would step up in that situation as well.
I told my mom to not look down there and she was ok with that.
It's your choice and your day, don't let it bother you - I think it's special to have him there as your support.

 

[Charlie5]

I wouldn't want to go through it alone so can understand you'd want someone with you and for you its him. I think thats great and a sensible idea....anyone with me stays head end only tho - DH wouldn't bother me but my guess is he'd pass out so that why he is included in the head end rule!! lol

 

[cat_reversing]

As long as your brother's OH is fine with it why not. It's better to have someone with you that you trust and it's good practice for him and his OH when they hopefully have their own. Good luck with everything and don't worry about what other people think, it's your birth and your life!

 

[aliss]

I don't think it's "weird" but I would really worry about how your SIL feels about it if she's struggling with fertility. I know some girls in the LTTTC forum get upset even reading Facebook updates about new babies because it's just a reminder of what they are going through, so I would imagine their OH being present for another delivery might be upsetting. It might not bother her at all, or it might devastate her. I'd ask

 

[Cata]

Thank you all so much for your opinions

Regarding my brother's OH, I got up early this morning as soon as she left for work and spoke to him. He said they did talk about it and that she was actually relieved as she is pretty sure he will faint and she thinks it will be a good practice for when they have their LO which should be soon, my brother is taking some meds that should fix the issue.

I still think it must be hard for her, and it will get even harder when LO arrives. But the only thing I can do is to keep her as involved as I can and even when she is my SIL I mention sometimes how she will become an auntie soon, and as soon as they can feel baby from the outside I hope she will want to experience that too. I really don't want her to feel bad ever! when they announced they were going to start trying to get pregnant, I was so happy I cried lol and well I had had 4 mcs at the time.

I would have considered on having her with me also but in my country you can only have one person in the delivery room with you and only if it's natural birth, since we don't get any medication they figured it would be good to have someone to punch

I have really felt like I have to justify this to everyone and I hate it. I didn't see anything wrong with it, he will obviously stay next to me and not my ankles lol I am very discreet and I could never go to a nudist beach specially with my family lol but to each their own. Plus, you down there doesn't even look like a normal vagina lol it stretches so much it looks like a door to a different dimension

Thanks again ladies

 

[Beankeeper]

I don't have a brother so I don't have that relationship with a male, but no one would be batting an eyelid if you were taking your sister in. I'd say if he wants to, you're comfortable & his OH is happy with the situation then who's business is it? It's good to have supportive family.

 

[NoodleSnack]

Hi ladies

Today i made a post on a forum in my country asking about this hospital where I'm giving birth, I mentioned my brother will be in the delivery room and everyone forgot about my question and went crazy about how weird that was, so this is why I'm posting here... am I that weird?

I will be a single mom, FOB and I are not together as a couple and also he is out of the country and he won't be able to be here for my EDD.

My mom passed away almost 4 years ago and my best friend is out of the country too and will be back until december.

My "little brother" (he's 20 something lol) and his girlfriend have been trying to have a baby for more than a year now and things haven't really worked out for them so when i told him I was pregnant after my MC in January he was so happy, one day I mentioned I would give the world for FOB to be at the delivery room with me and he immediately said: If he can't make it I want to go In with you.
I thought since otherwise I'll be all alone it was ok, he is my little brother and has always been very protective of me since we were little and of course he is excited about his first nephew too.

I did ask him to video tape a bit of the birth and he immediately freaked out and said: ummmm what do you mean? I said: just the whole environment lol not my baby crowning and he said ohhhh ok! that I can do, so he basically wants to be there to support me and get to hold my baby before everyone else lol.

It has crossed my mind, how we are all different and some people maybe at my prenatal class will give me a weird look for being with my brother there but i have no one else and until now I thought it was completely normal of course I would prefer to have my mom or my BF there or FOB but those are not possibilities for me and I actually felt lucky to have a supportive brother.

That being said I would like to know your opinion on my situation, if a friend of yours came and told you this what would you think?

Oh and if it makes any difference I'm 32.

Thank you for taking the time to read my loooooong post

At first it seems weird (like the grandfather being in the room during birth, cross-sex close relative just should not be in a situation where one might see the private areas of another ) but given your circumstances, I would say it's okay, and to explain the situations to others as you did here. Even better, if you and your brother's GF is close, maybe both of them can be there, that way it removes any any ickiness associated with him being there. It's not logical, but that's how I feel it.

 

[gretavon]

I. Dont think its weird at all. I would love for my brother to be at this birth,but he lives in Dallas which is a four or five hour drive from us and he is currently working his fanny off getting his BA in computer programming. Plus, he is a total bachelor and is freaked out just feeling the baby move so I'm sure that he wouldnt know what to do with himself while I'm in labor! So no, I dont think its odd at all...now if he was there when the baby was conceived yeah thats weird.

 

[Icy]

I don't think it's weird at all! My hubby was on the room with his sister, he was only up by her head but was with her the whole time helping out however he could. If it comes down to being alone or having a male relative than obviously you need to pick a person who is available! I am considering my oldest daughter coming with me when I told my bf she flipped saying it was wrong and I just stated my reasons and now she has changed her mind and is bringing ALL her kids in with her. Before hospitals this was a family affair and anyone to help was involved its only modern society that has made it taboo!! Like other posters said your baby your body your choice!! Best of luck!

 

[Tallulah28]

I don't think it is weird at all. In fact, I read your post and it made me feel happy, that you have a sibling who is willing to be there for you and give you the support you need... it then made me sad because you say you feel like you have to justify yourself and that people have been judging you.

I have a brother but we aren't very close at all so I definately couldn't imagine having him in the delivery room but i think it's fantastic that you have a wonderful brother who is going to be there for you.

Ignore what other people think....

xx

 

[try4girl2]

If you want him there don't let anyone make you feel otherwise.