my daughter is pregnant and I have had miscarriage - how do you cope?

[momwithbabies]

Well said.

Today is two weeks since I started bleeding. I should be 12 weeks along. I should be happy and relieved to be leaving the 1st trimester. I should be worrying about eating healthy and not drinking too much caffeine.

Instead I'm lying here in bed, thinking of what should, realizing what really is, and feeling incredibly sad about it.

The loss date every week has been especially difficult. I dread every Saturday as I get further and further away from my baby.

Venting I know, but this all really sucks.

 

[mad4babies]

My miscarriage was 2 weeks ago past Saturday also and I should have been 14 weeks and like you starting to 'relax' and enjoy the second trimester. I have mixed feelings as each Saturday arrives. I feel exactly like you that every Saturday that goes by I feel that my baby is slipping further and further away from me and that it was only ever a dream that I was pregnant. To help me cope with this I try to focus on the fact that I am 1 more week towards my body returning to normal so that we can try again and that maybe, just maybe I am 1 more week into the grieving and healing process and that I have got through it.

Like you said - life sucks x x

 

[momwithbabies]

That's a good way to look at it. My doctor said that around 10 days post D&C, I should have a period. Nothing yet, but I still spot a little bit each day.

I'm also not cleared to have sex for another 4 weeks, due to the risk of infection, I suppose. My surgeries have screwed up my body. I still don't have a normal appetite. I have to make myself eat, and when I do, my stomach doesn't like it.

Maybe once my body is normal again, this will all be a little easier. I hope it is, anyway.

I also have to get that dye test done to see if the pregnancy damaged my right tube. He wants me to have two normal periods before I do that test. Time couldn't move faster right now. And what is further worrys me is that it took me 5 years to conceive my last one. Ahhhh!

Did you have a period yet?

 

[mad4babies]

I totally understand your frustration and impatience with the situation. If it's not enough for us to lose our precious babies mother nature makes it even crueller for us and screws our bodies up so that we have to wait even longer. I haven't had a period yet and don't expect 1 for at least another 3-4 weeks if I am lucky. I am still spotting.

With my first mmc I chose natural management and I had to wait 11 weeks for HCG to go down and get a negative pregnancy test. This was because I believe that I still had remnants (what a horrible way to have to put it) because I bled really heavily with clots for the 3 weeks previous to this. I also got a kidney infection to kick me when I was down!!!!

The wait was agonising and I have chosen natural management this time also so here goes to strength and patience to get through this.

Like I said before though I think the only way to get through this first waiting game for me is to think of it as time to strengthen my eggs and his sperm so that when they next have chance to meet (whenever that might me) they will hopefully work and give me my rainbow baby.

I know that from my past miscarriages I felt a lot better when my body went back to normal (about 4 months after) and gave me back a bit more control.

Life can seem pretty cruel at times and talking on here does help. We are not alone and although everyone's situations are different we are all going through a similar heartache.

Take care x x