My husband told his entire family...

[disneydarling]

Even though I asked him not to! And he lied about it!

I'm almost 8 weeks, and the only people I wanted to tell before 12 weeks was my parents, and that's because I've needed my mums help looking after my daughter because I've been really sick, and when I have appointments/scan.

His family is really overbearing, they caused me so much stress when my daughter was born I had the worst anxiety and they made it ten times worse.

I found out today that he told his parents pretty much straight away, and all his siblings within the past week. OMG I am so angry at him. He just can't keep a secret and thinks it's not a big deal.

So furious with him, and he just doesn't understand why what he did was wrong. Not looking for any advice just needed to have a moan about him! He is such a good husband so I hate to argue with him, but I'm just blown away by how stupid he has been!!!

 

[lesondemavie]

I'm so sorry he did that! You're not alone with the overwhelming in-laws. My MIL can be a bit overbearing about diet and motherhood and breastfeeding. She unfortunately found out just a day after us bc I was super sick and not prepared for it. She cornered me in the bathroom while I was brushing my teeth and told me to look her in the eye and tell her I wasn't pg. You'd think she'd realize that we'd tell her when we were ready, but nope! She texted me constantly for a day or two after we left, so my DH had a talk with her and she's backed off now. This is our first. Hoping DH can manage her so that we can just enjoy this time and do what makes us happy! Honestly, I'm even more concerned about how my mom will be once we tell her. This will be her first grandkid. Really hoping my brother and his wife conceive quickly so we can share the stress

 

[StarHaze]

I'm sorry he did that, I would be furious and idk how I would forgive it honestly. I mean adding extra stress to you, its like he wants to lose the baby. Really messed up.

 

[hanni]

Wow what an ass!! I'd be so annoyed. I'm sorry

 

[Bundle of joy]

I have the opposite problem here,
I feel my OH doesn't want to tell his family until he has to, like when I'm
Showing. This upsets me really as I can't wait to tell the world! Xx

 

[Dragonfly]

Facing the same here. 8 weeks dont want any one to know. He told one of his bros who is now threatening to tell his mother and its none of his business to do so. So apparently next week hes saying . I wanted to wait longer too.

 

[x__amour]

I'm so sorry your husband didn't respect you. I'd be upset too.

 

[bcos21]

My husband did the same thing when we found out the sex of the baby. It's a two punch hurt, one he broke a promise and two, he lied. I hate the lies. It took us a kind time to get past it. We agreed not to tell his family because they are overbearing and mean and always up in our business

 

[Cazran25]

I'm sorry your husband did this, it's not quite the same but a few years ago I got hit in the face by a "lady" and asked DH to not tell anyone. Found out he told his parents who then told his brother & SIL. I was livid, really felt trust was a big broken.
Just to be on the fence a bit but was he just really excited? Not that it makes it ok but I know how hard it is to not share exciting news

 

[Buffyx]

I'm sorry that he did that. I would be beyond mad!

However, I wouldn't make my husband keep it a secret from his parents if I had told mine. Even though you find them overbearing & stressful, they are his parents, and I'm sure he was just excited to tell them.

I think it's something a couple has to agree on. Last time we both agreed to tell our parents on the same day. This time we have agreed to wait. So I'd be very upset if I found out that he had told them. But I also wouldn't go ahead & tell my parents, and tell him that he can't tell his.

 

[mrsmax]

I agree with Buffy here. I would be mad if dh went behind my back like that BUT it seemsva little unfair perhaps to tell your parents but not let him tell his... perhsps he thought it was unfair too and tgats why he told them? I hope you work it out

 

[mrsmax]

I agree with Buffy here. I would be mad if dh went behind my back like that BUT it seemsva little unfair perhaps to tell your parents but not let him tell his... perhsps he thought it was unfair too and tgats why he told them? I hope you work it out

 

[Mrs W 11]

I agree with buffy too. I wouldn't have told my dhs parents this time if we didn't have to but A, we had IVF and needed help with childcare so we had to and B, I needed my mums support and knew it wasn't fair for me to tell my mum and him not to tell his.

With my dd she was just overly excitable and telling people and buying stuff before I was even 12 weeks which I felt very uncomfortable with. Second time I had a mmc and she had told half the family so they all knew which I was mortified about.

So I understand how you feel and he should have spoken to you before he told them, but I guess he was just really excited about the news. He has been stupid but life's too short, you are having a new baby together, such an exciting time. Xx

 

[kittylady]

I found my MIL overbearing first time round but I put my foot down at the start and we have a brilliant relationship now because of it. I will actually need her help this time as I can't guarantee my husband will be there for the birth and I will have a 4 year old and almost 2 year old and I will need my mum to be a birth partner if my husband isn't there.

You are mum therefore what you say goes. We haven't told either parent yet though. I can see why some people say you should tell both sets of parents or neither but he should have told you that's what he wanted to do rather than lieing. Hope you can sort it. x

 

[lilmisscaviar]

I told my parents for the same reason as you and because I thought it would be unfair to tell my parents but not tell DH, I made it an option to him that if he wanted to tell them, he could. He however decided to wait out of goodwill. I do envy your DH in a way in that he is excited about the pregnancy. My DH doesn't get excited about much, sadly.

 

[marycotter567]

This is why I am hiding this from my hubby - he cannot keep a secret so he will spill the beans for sure. He sure did with the first one so this time I am planning on waiting at least 8-12 weeks before telling him - hopefully I can hold out that long!

 

[Bluemoonlight]

Aww, that's rough. Hang in there!

 

[campn]

Disagreeing with some of the ladies here sorry!

But I wouldn't want to tell the inlaws if they've been too much to handle in the past (regardless of telling my parents or not)

This time I told my parents but haven't told DH's parents yet since last time they wanted to announce it themselves to EVERYONE they know and all over Facebook before we did or we even wanted to. My parents didn't do any of that and respected our wishes to just keep it to themselves.

I'm sorry they found out against your wishes BUT this is your pregnancy and you're the mother and you shouldn't let anyone stress you out of give you anxiety. Just be better prepared this time to stop them and show them where you draw the line.