My journey, ttc after losses.

[Abii]

Hello everyone:wave: my husband and I have been ttc #3 since August 2015 we took a break for the month of November and got a huge surprise in December when I got a bfp, I was so excited as we hadn't used anything that cycle so it happened completely naturally and it was just exciting to know that my body worked for that cycle. Sadly that pregnancy ended on January 1st 2016 @ 6w I was so devastated and heartbroken, it was my first true miscarriage of actually knowing I was pregnant and it really tore me up. We picked up ttc right after the m/c even though I was still grieving, I just didn't want to wait. A few cycles went by and it was April, I started getting faint positives on clear blue + - at 8dpo but we all hear the horror stories of those tests so I waited a day and started using frer's- also faint positive. The lines were getting darker but every digi I took was a bfn so something didn't feel right and I kind of just knew at that point, the lines starting fading and I got my af right on time it was a chemical we have had 4 losses in the span of 4 years and I'm feeling defeated. I'm on cd1 today and had a few false positive tests this past cycle so maybe its bringing up old feelings but I figured you guys would understand. I'm feeling heartbroken over our losses all over again