My story with GD.

[sunshine20]

I ALWAYS wanted a little girl. Everyone I knew who had little boys, the boys were awful. The little girls were always so cute & I wanted my little mini me. My mom and i have an amazing relationship, im daddys little girl, i wanted hubby to have his little daddys girl & i wanted the bond i have with my mom.Everyone I knew said that I had to be having a girl, only one said I was having a boy. I remember my first freak out. The day of the nutchal scan the tech said "oh I would say 90% chance of a boy and I'm very rarely wrong" I FLIPPED out. Hysterical in the car ride home to the point of making myself throw up. I hated the thought of having a boy. I refused to look at boy clothes, cried myself to sleep a few nights, tried to reason with God to give me a girl. We picked out names for both, but I always called my bump she, had dreams it was a girl, hubby had dreams it was a girl so did other family members so i was convinced.Then came "the big scan" when she said boy I was just like "oh okay" held it together long enough to get to the car. It was even worse this time. I made hubby take me home straight after, I wouldn't show anyone the pictures, I didn't want to talk about it. I remember just falling to the floor, crumpled up crying hysterically about how I didn't want a boy. Everytime we went shopping and i saw cute girl clothes i would have to leave and go cry. didnt make it any better that everyone kept saying "you must be so disapppointed" or "oh i wish you were having a girl" Eventually I came around. I'm not sure at what point it was, it was deff long before he was born. The second that they put that little baby boy into my arms I didn't care. He is my life. I look at him and feel horrible that I ever said that I didn't want him. I can't imagine life without him I've even gone as far as saying that I just want boys, no girls but then it always goes back to I just want one boy & one girl. We can't have another baby, I have too many health problems to be able to carry another pregnancy. Which sucks. I'm not going to lie, because now I know ill never have my little blonde hair, blue eyed baby girl that I always pictured myself with. I'm having problems coming to terms with that (more so the"ill never be able to have another baby again" aspect of it because I LOVED being pregnant, regardless of what gender I have) I can honestly say though that since he's been here I've never wished it any different. He's so smart and handsome and I just can't keep my lips off his chubby little cheeks.

I figure that whoever is reading this is probably pregnant, just found out what they are having and is trying to come to terms with it, or feels horrible for feeling the way they do and I can tell you this, the minute you hold that baby in your arms, you won't care. Nothing will change the fact that this baby is the baby that you and your partner made, regardless of gender this baby is wanted, and loved, and will have an incredible bond with you as his or her mother. The cute clothes won't matter because they'll be spit up and pooped on, the toys won't matter because they break, the only thing that matters is that you're not alone in feeling the way you do, your not insane for feeling the way you do, and if I could give you a great big hug right now I would. I'm always here if you need to talk to anyone, and I promise, as soon as you hold that baby, nothing else will matter

 

[maybebaby3]

Thank you for sharing your story xx

 

[Eleanor ace]

So glad that your story had a happy outcome . Sorry you can't have any more LO's

 

[Angelica]

Thank u for ur supportive words Sunshine... im sure it will help some of us come to terms with gd