My story. . .

[misshopefull]

I was really pleased to find this section when I was pregnant because I was very worried about gender disappointment and it was good to know I wasn't alone so I wanted to share my story.

When I found out I was pregnant with DS1 I had no preference over the gender. I was sure I was having a boy and I was happy with this, in fact I liked the idea of my first born being a boy. We stayed team yellow and there was no suprise when my beautiful baby boy was born

I said that next time I would want to find out the gender as I was worried I would be disappointed if I was pregnant with another boy. TTC was hard, I wanted to be pregnant so badly and it felt like everybody around me was pregnant. My friend and I started ttc the same month and she fell pregnant the first month. I found out I was pregnant 3 months later. She then found out she was having a girl. I was happy for her but I was a bit jealous

I had a strong feeling I was having a girl and for some reason we decided to stay team yellow. I think looking back I was too scared to find out incase it was a boy. I really wanted a girl and could not imagine having two sons.

People were looking at my bump and guessing girl. I was 95% the baby was a girl. A few weeks before my due date my midwife asked if she could guess the gender and she said she thought it was a boy!

I started to worry that I could be wrong. On the day of my c-section I'm not sure if I was more scared of the c-section or finding out the gender.

When the baby was born my OH looked to see the gender and said its a boy! I said 'are you joking?' I was shocked. Totally shocked. I didn't really know how to feel. I couldn't even name him at first because it felt strange to be naming a boy!

I was waiting for all these feelings of disappointment to appear. I made myself look at all the cute girls clothes on the internet to see if it upset me but I realised I'd probably save a fortune!

Well, DS2 is now six weeks old and he is just amazing. I love him so much I can't imagine not having him. He is a lovely calm baby and I am always looking at him and thinking I love you so much!

I am not disappointed that he is a he. I would not change him for a girl. I know if I had found out the gender at my scan I would of been disappointed then and I am glad that I avoided feeling like that.

I am disappointed that I still don't have a daughter but my OH is happy to try for another baby so maybe one day. . . If there is a next time I will find out the gender but I will remember everything I have learnt from this.

Knowing the gender is not knowing your baby. When you meet your baby it changes everything x

 

[chetnaz]

Your story is so heartwarming. Youre right, gender is just one part of your child and we shouldn't be dissapointed before we've even met our little one, although sometimes it cannot be helped. I had no preference with my eldest, in fact, like you, I liked the idea of firstborn being a boy. When I got pregnant second time round, I wanted desperately wanted a little girl. But at my 12 week scan when I found out I was having identical twins and researched the risks involved in a twin pregnancy, the gender of the babies was the last thing on my mind. I remember waking up in extreme pain at 16 weeks pregnant and I was having a panic attack thinking that I'm losing my babies. That's when it hit home that as long as they were healthy and arrived on time without the risks I didn't care if they were boys. I wasn't surprised to find out a few days after that night that I was having boys. I was totally fine with that. I now look at my three boys and feel so so blessed. They're my angels. It didn't stop me from wanting a girl this time round. I didn't admit to anyone how badly I wanted a girl. I told everyone I'd be fine with another boy, and I know, that after the initial dissapointment, I would have been fine. I would never regret or resent or be dissapointed in my baby, I'd just be dissapointed that id never get to experience having a girl. I found out three weeks ago that I'm having a girl! I'm over the moon, but also so scared. Scared that they got it wrong. Scared that something will go wrong in the pregnancy. Scared that I won't bond with her. Crazy right?!

 

[misshopefull]

Congratulations on finding out your having a girl! I never stopped being scared when I was pregnant, there is always something to worry about!

I think if I am lucky enough to get pregnant again and find out I am having a girl I would worry that they had got the gender wrong I think its human nature to worry when you want something so much. Try and relax and enjoy your pregnancy x