Names and nicknames.....am I just being petty?

[Laylagirl]

I have a couple of issues Im struggling with so please be as honest and brutally honest with me no matter... Im always open to all feedback I get from you all so thank you in advance!

Ok....so my husband and I have a two year old daughter together.... Her name is Emilia..... We have nicknames for her that we just call her on a regular basis...I call her monkey and my husband likes to call her mommash....they fit her as we have always called her those names since birth.... His family for some reason have decided to call her "milly"....which I REALLY dont like.... Milly sounds like a farm type name to me and I never liked it...reminds me the little house on the prairie. Needless to say, I dont have it in me to ask them to call her by her name, Emilia. Or even Emily. My sister in law is the one who started calling her that name first. Is this something I should just let go, or put a stop to?

Next issue....Im currently pregnant with pur second child. Its going to be a boy and Im thrilled. I want to name him after my husband. Hector. I love that name, but Im biased...lol... Well my sister in law has a son who is 9 months younger than our daughter and she seems to think that her son looks like my husband (i think he looks like the loser drug addict she chose to father him) so she calls him "little hector". His name is not hector, but she calls him baby hector... Also, ever since my husband was a baby, his mim and aunts gave him a nick name that they call him all the time. Thats fine by me. But they alsco call my sister in laws baby "baby c*}=" as if her son is my husbands jr.... Thats always bothered me, because my sister in law always wants my husband to be so involved with her son...which is fine, but in a fatherly way... A little background to my husband....he is the inly child out of 4 who has his own house, good job, and responsible. He was 33 when we had our daughter and before that, he used to spoil the very first child in his family (his brother had a baby girl in 2010) rotten. He would buy her diapers, wipes, clothes galore....he spoiled her. But then we had our daughter and taking on a family, my husband cant or wont provide like that anymore for his siblings.... He spoils our daughter like crazy, but I can tell his love is definitley not the same for his niece and nephew as it is for his own daughter. He adores her. So back to his sister and her son.... Last week we went to visit a relative of my husbands about 8 hours drive from us..... And the family calls up telling us to tell them hi from baby hector.....I was like, "huh? Hes not here yet.." But then I realized that they were talking about my husbands nephew....this irritates the hell out of me. Seriously.... Dont know if its worse now because of my pregnancy hormones and impending birth of the right jr to my husband or what....but please tell me your thoughts...

Am I being petty? Overly jealous? Should I just let things go? Please.......any advice. Thanks ladies.

 

[jzgrace]

I would just let it roll off my shoulders and when baby hector is born they can find a new nick name for the nephew. It is great that they love Your husband so much and respect him. You could just take it all as a really big compliment.

 

[HelenJane]

It is super annoying. Some of my family call her Millie, I personally think because they can't be bothered saying her full name. It is really irritating! However, I have just ignored it and continued to call her properly. She knows her proper name ;-)

As for his sister calling her baby "little hector", I find it a bit weird but she obviously looks up to him.
I think if he is not bothered by it then leave it as I would think it would be up to him to say something and like the PP said, when your little boy arrives and you call him Hector, I think she will stop using it for her son.
Just keep calling her baby by his real name and whenever she says something about "little hector", play dumb and say who? OH you mean..... (and use his name). If she gets corrected all the time I think she'll get the message lol

 

[Laylagirl]

I would just let it roll off my shoulders and when baby hector is born they can find a new nick name for the nephew. It is great that they love Your husband so much and respect him. You could just take it all as a really big compliment.

I never really thought about that way...they do really love him...i see that, and I never get in the middle of that. I just don't like when he works a lot and cant visit as often as they like, they blame me for not encouraging him more... Him and I have always had talks about it and he knows that his mom has unrealistic expectations on how often he should call or visit them... They all live in the same house...three siblings and the parents and his niece and nephew.... They would love my husband to live in their house too lol!

 

[Laylagirl]

It is super annoying. Some of my family call her Millie, I personally think because they can't be bothered saying her full name. It is really irritating! However, I have just ignored it and continued to call her properly. She knows her proper name ;-)

As for his sister calling her baby "little hector", I find it a bit weird but she obviously looks up to him.
I think if he is not bothered by it then leave it as I would think it would be up to him to say something and like the PP said, when your little boy arrives and you call him Hector, I think she will stop using it for her son.
Just keep calling her baby by his real name and whenever she says something about "little hector", play dumb and say who? OH you mean..... (and use his name). If she gets corrected all the time I think she'll get the message lol

Thanks.... I don't think it bothers him...if it does, he doesn't say..but i know that when his son is born he wont like them calling his nephew jr... Lol i guess I should just leave it alone for now. Thanks ladies!

 

[jzgrace]

They need to realize he has a family if his own to support and spend time with. I dont see how it would be within your control as to his visiting schedule, its not like you plan his hours at work. Lol that is funny. Oh boy his mom sounds like mine. She can be overbearing and demanding as well. Thank god you have your own house. I live one street away from my mom and still dont visit every week. Its good to have your own time for you, hubby and kids.

 

[Laylagirl]

They need to realize he has a family if his own to support and spend time with. I dont see how it would be within your control as to his visiting schedule, its not like you plan his hours at work. Lol that is funny. Oh boy his mom sounds like mine. She can be overbearing and demanding as well. Thank god you have your own house. I live one street away from my mom and still dont visit every week. Its good to have your own time for you, hubby and kids.

Uh....lol...we live one major cross street away from them..lol.... But as far as his working... i am guilty of keeping him to myself on his day off. When he works six days, no, I dont feel like going to his moms house full of people and kids to share my hubby... I want his undivided attention.... I an give her once a month tgough so long as he works five days that week instead of six.. maybe Im a jerk... But i have y own complicated issues to sort out and being pregnant doesnt help my current insecurities, so everything just bugs and gets to me....

 

[Selaphyna]

Honestly I would just tell them, firmly, that her name is Emilia, not Milly.

After I had my son, whose name is Christian, my mom tried to call him Ian. I just looked at her and said, his name is Christian. We call him bubba or bubby as a nickname, have since birth, but I always told them that I want him called Christian until he old enough to decide if he wants to go by Chris, Christian, Ian, or even his middle name. I'm allowing him to make that decision. Still to this day he prefers Christian.

As far as his nephew, I'm not sure what to say there, other than yeah it seems a bit annoying. But as others have said it's obvious your husband's family looks up to him.

 

[Laylagirl]

Honestly I would just tell them, firmly, that her name is Emilia, not Milly.

After I had my son, whose name is Christian, my mom tried to call him Ian. I just looked at her and said, his name is Christian. We call him bubba or bubby as a nickname, have since birth, but I always told them that I want him called Christian until he old enough to decide if he wants to go by Chris, Christian, Ian, or even his middle name. I'm allowing him to make that decision. Still to this day he prefers Christian.

As far as his nephew, I'm not sure what to say there, other than yeah it seems a bit annoying. But as others have said it's obvious your husband's family looks up to him.

Yeah, I think I will have to wait that one out... It used to bug me even when I wasn't pregnant.. I just figured that now that Im pregnant and we all know its a boy and they all know he's going to be named after his father that they would take notice to the fact that there can only be one "little hector" regardless of how much they love my husband. But oh well...its going to be a rude awakening when he gets here and my husband adores him as much as our daughter..... Thats one thing I van really give my husband.....even if I have my own issues, I know how much he loves his daughter and i know his son wont be any different. He teuly is a great dad...

 

[tinymumma]

I don't think you're overreacting again all! My LO's name is going to be Leonidus and everyone has already made nicknames for him even though we have explicitly said Leo for a nickname. My father refuses as says he will call him Conan?! Utterly frustrating! People should listen to your wishes.
In regards to your nephew, it seems to me that your SIL is a tad jealous that her baby daddy isn't as good of a father as your OH is going to be. Again, completely irritating though

 

[Laylagirl]

I don't think you're overreacting again all! My LO's name is going to be Leonidus and everyone has already made nicknames for him even though we have explicitly said Leo for a nickname. My father refuses as says he will call him Conan?! Utterly frustrating! People should listen to your wishes.
In regards to your nephew, it seems to me that your SIL is a tad jealous that her baby daddy isn't as good of a father as your OH is going to be. Again, completely irritating though

Thats what I was thinking about my sister in law also.... Maybe she is jealous.... But that isn't my fault.... They want my husband to treat him like he does his daughter... Sometimes his loyalty to my daughter is surprising as I know he really does love his family. Example : on saturday evening we went over to his moms house for dinner. She had some of her cousins there with their kids. There was about six kids total. They have a small blow up pool in the back yard. That where we ate dinner. Well my sister in laws son was trying to climb in on top of the cover...my mother in law starts yelling for my husband to run and get him...my husband walked over but didn't run. Someone else ran over... He wasn't in the water, he wasn't far from us, he was just leaning towards the center....

The rest of the night progressed.... My husband played with our daughter for a bit on some toys they have there for his niece and nephew.

When we got home later, my husband started talking about the evening.... He said he was only concerned for our child's safety, if no one else was watching their kids (his brother with his daughter and his sister with her son) he wasn't going to watch them either. This shocked me because i know he loves his family, but he also thinks that his brother and sister don't know responsibility when it comes to life. They only have cell phone bills and personal credit bills...but know nothing about living on their own trying to raise their family....

Even today he was saying that I was right about his sisters son....she shives his foot in a shoe that is too small for him.... My husband said he saw this the other night cuz he put his shoe on for him and it was very tight....her problem is that he is a big baby but she insists that he wears a smaller size in everything...

 

[londonangel]

To be honest I'd just let it go with the 'Millie' thing. I don't personally think it sounds like a cow name (!). The problem is with a name like Emilia it's highly likely that someone will start calling her Millie at school anyway. My daughter's an Eleanor and they all seem to call her Ellie at nursery. I'm an Angela and I hate being called 'Ange' but loads of colleagues call me Ange and it seems like I'm just a fusspot if I ask them not to (I hate 'Ange' because I think it sounds like 'gunge').

 

[londonangel]

Also, I think what someone else nicknames their own child is really only their business (sorry....). I can see why it is a bit annoying your nephew being nicknamed Hector but they'll probably stop doing it (at least when you're around with new baby) if you call your new baby Hector. My nephew phones us on Skype to talk to us all and I think it's lovely! Well, he phones with help from his mummy (my sis-in-law) as he's only two - and we get to see our three-month-old niece too. If my sis-in-law phoned to say her two-year-old was looking forward to seeing her uncle I'd think it was lovely, I wouldn't be bothered at all.

Hopefully your family on hubby's side will start to try to take your feelings into account a bit if these things are really bothering you, if you speak to them about it.

 

[Alovelikexo]

See I can't help but want to just say - it's all just nicknames. Like... It's just a nickname. Atleast it's nothing nasty like I grew up with "scabby abi"... It's just one of those things, my daughter is an Evie - that is her name and I chose it because I thought it would avoid her getting confused with shortened nicknames yet the whole world still calls her Eves! It's just one of those things.

Also I hate to be the one to say it but "little hector" his nephew - it's his nephew. I think that's ur hormones just going a bit over the top. It's not like it's an ex's child who still carrys the nickname, it's his nephew! Please don't take me the wrong way, I am extremely insecure too, but one thing I know is when it comes to family I will never win, I will always cause an argument or an awkward situation & still have to deal with whatever I'm not happy about.

Pick ur battles Hun, some u win, some u don't.

 

[Laylagirl]

Also, I think what someone else nicknames their own child is really only their business (sorry....). I can see why it is a bit annoying your nephew being nicknamed Hector but they'll probably stop doing it (at least when you're around with new baby) if you call your new baby Hector. My nephew phones us on Skype to talk to us all and I think it's lovely! Well, he phones with help from his mummy (my sis-in-law) as he's only two - and we get to see our three-month-old niece too. If my sis-in-law phoned to say her two-year-old was looking forward to seeing her uncle I'd think it was lovely, I wouldn't be bothered at all.

Hopefully your family on hubby's side will start to try to take your feelings into account a bit if these things are really bothering you, if you speak to them about it.

Yeah, true... It sounds a whole lot different when you get it out there and hear the feedback about it... It sounds a little childish... Because when my lil man is here, he will be the jr regardless of what my sister in law calls her son... And I know my husband wont put his children second to anyone else's..

 

[Laylagirl]

See I can't help but want to just say - it's all just nicknames. Like... It's just a nickname. Atleast it's nothing nasty like I grew up with "scabby abi"... It's just one of those things, my daughter is an Evie - that is her name and I chose it because I thought it would avoid her getting confused with shortened nicknames yet the whole world still calls her Eves! It's just one of those things.

Also I hate to be the one to say it but "little hector" his nephew - it's his nephew. I think that's ur hormones just going a bit over the top. It's not like it's an ex's child who still carrys the nickname, it's his nephew! Please don't take me the wrong way, I am extremely insecure too, but one thing I know is when it comes to family I will never win, I will always cause an argument or an awkward situation & still have to deal with whatever I'm not happy about.

Pick ur battles Hun, some u win, some u don't.

Yeah, maybe its my own jealousy that I want my OWN baby hector from hector and seeing his nephew and hearing them call him that just gets to me.... Even my husband thinks his nephew looks like The loser father she chose.... She even changed his last name to the family name now... (The nephews)....I am pretty jealous because they ALL live together and see our daughter once every two weeks, but my mother in law wont baby sit for us at all because she says she cant watch three babies... Three babies being my sister in laws son and brother in laws daughter... And our little one.. Im pretty jealous that my little one gets the shaft... My husband is currently trying to nip that in bud..

 

[Spiffynoodles]

It sounds like your SIL is calling her son little Hector so that she can try to persuade your husband to treat him like a son, since it sounds like her son's real dad isn't in the picture much. I can sympathize to a point, but it also seems pretty manipulative to me. (But maybe I'm just imagining if my SIL started calling her son by my DH's name, which would drive me insane). Anyway, no advice, but I totally understand why you're frustrated.

 

[Laylagirl]

It sounds like your SIL is calling her son little Hector so that she can try to persuade your husband to treat him like a son, since it sounds like her son's real dad isn't in the picture much. I can sympathize to a point, but it also seems pretty manipulative to me. (But maybe I'm just imagining if my SIL started calling her son by my DH's name, which would drive me insane). Anyway, no advice, but I totally understand why you're frustrated.

Yes, she does want him to treat him in a fatherly way.... My husband and I took our kids to disneyland for halloween trick or treating....I purchased and invited mu mother in law to go with us. She calls me right back on the phone and asks if I can get another ticket for my sister in law..... I didn't want to because they always spend time together, go out for lunches, shopping, they live together.... I wanted mother in law to spend time with us, our family.... But i reluctantly bought another ticket. When we got to disneyland, my sister in law kept asking my husband to help her with her baby... Hold him, feed him, help her put him in a sling... It was annoying... But like I said, maybe its my own jealousy i need to deal with.