names based rant

[spicyorange]

Me and dh have both recently said we like a particular girls name if we have a girl. Today my boss (who has a 2yr old dd and is ttc but recently mc) said she liked that name,I said that was one of my favorites, and she was all "well I'd be really annoyed if you get there first and take that name" she was mostly joking but I'm going to be so upset if she has another dd and uses my name, she can't like it that much or she would have used it for her first dd. she will get there first prob because she is already ttc and we dont start until Jan. With her first she was bfp first cycle and the mc was second so I doubt it well be long. The only plus is I don't think her dh it's convinced, but if we do have it she had no right to get annoyed at me, she had carte blanche of names 2 yrs ago, and what's worse is a name like I already can't use because it's her name!!
Am I being unreasonable to be so annoyed by this

 

[staralfur]

I don't see why it's a big deal if she's just your boss. If you guys were close friends then I could see not wanting someone to 'steal' the name they like, but if you only see her at work and your kiddos won't be best buddies then I don't see why you can't both use the name.

It's also worth noting that you (or your boss) may come to love a different name more by the time you actually have your baby (if it's even a girl!). I personally change my opinions on names pretty frequently and a lot of the names I liked when DD was born I have completely gone off of now and wouldn't consider for another baby girl.

I wouldn't think about it too much until the time actually comes.

 

[Mrs.Gj]

No it's not unreasonable to feel like that. I think if she takes the name YOU planned and she probably wasn't even considering until you said something is incredibly rude and disrespectful. I would be MAD. Of course, you could always choose to use the name, especially if you don't plan to be working with the same boss forever. But I can also understand if you would no longer want to use it. Hopefully she will forget about the name by the time it comes to name hers. Or her OH disagrees. Or she has a boy

 

[comotion89]

I agree with staralfur, if it was my best friend or sibling then i would be bothered but work colleagues no.

 

[cookette]

With just about any name, there will always be someone else with it. If its not in the family, then I wouldnt even give it a thought.

 

[Sqwidge]

Recently two colleagues have both picked the same name for their daughters. I don't know if they had discussed what they would be calling their daughters (they both knew the sex) and they had their babies in weeks of each other! And they are both in the same dept, one of them is the boss too.

Basically trying to say, I don't think it matters if you both use the name xx

 

[Belle0720]

Ehh she's just your boss so I don't think it's a huge deal. There would be nothing wrong with naming your babies the same name.

H has cousins who have the same name. As in two sisters both named their son the same name. He also has friends who are cousins and they have the same first and last name (and I believe they have an uncle with the same name).

I can relate in that I was a little worried that SIL might name her son my favorite boy name and it would have bothered me since everyone knows I love that name (although I think I'd still use that name if I had a son regardless). But for someone as distant as a boss/coworker I don't think I'd blink an eye. Don't worry about it.

 

[spicyorange]

I should say my boss is a friend in work, I don't see her out of work though.

 

[stellaluna431]

I definitely don't think it's unreasonable for you to think like that. I hate when people try to "claim" names. It's not like she's the first person to use that name ever. She needs to calm down.

The only names that are "off limits" for us are names our siblings use, because we don't want cousins with the first names. Luckily we're both the eldest in our families & none of our siblings are in relationships at all, let alone serious ones where babies might come about.

Even if my best friend used one of our names, I'd still use it.

 

[jaspie]

Yes I agree with everyone. It's unreasonable of her to say she'd be annoyed with you if you got there first!
Your child's name is for life, work colleagues are temporary. Ignore her, if you like the name use it.

 

[spicyorange]

I just hope people don't think I copied her

 

[Eleanor ace]

Hopefully she is just joking around and trying to put you off using the name but wouldn't be annoyed if you do end up using it. You could get pregnant first, she could get pregnant with a boy, or you could and then it wouldn't be an issue, so try not to let it stress you out now. If you do both end up using it and she acts annoyed then just keep your cool- you are both as entitled as each other to use the name.