Naming the baby - should I involve him?

[sleepinbeauty]

I think youo're going about this just fine. DO NOT give your baby his last name though. You're the one carrying and will probably the primary caregiver. You deserve the last name. If you were to get along an dsomeday get married, you can all switch names then.

(That's my plan of action, anyway)

 

[KaeRit21]

i havent given bubs sperm donor a say in the names, as hes decided to shut the door and is now ignoring mine, my familys and babys existence. imo, he hasnt bothered to see how his baby is, hasnt paid for one thing baby needs or has and done nothing but lie and cause me stress...why should i let him name my baby? bubs will also be given my surname and im NOT taking him with me to register baby either...i dont even want him on the BC.

so, hun, i think its your decision but at the end of the day, what has he done to earn the right to be involved in naming this baby??

xxxx

 

[purpledahlia]

yup, im doing the same as kirstin!

 

[suzanne108]

so, hun, i think its your decision but at the end of the day, what has he done to earn the right to be involved in naming this baby??

xxxx

Good question.....the answer is NOTHING!!!

I'm glad most of us are in agreement about this.... and that I'm not being unnecessarily evil

xxx

 

[purpledahlia]

the only evil people in these situations are the men, and the evilness is not towards us, but towards their babies, theyre evil men!

 

[suzanne108]

I think youo're going about this just fine. DO NOT give your baby his last name though. You're the one carrying and will probably the primary caregiver. You deserve the last name. If you were to get along an dsomeday get married, you can all switch names then.

(That's my plan of action, anyway)

Don't worry I am definitely 100% absolutely giving the baby my surname hehe, no doubt about that!!

 

[Novbaby08]

Good for you, I did the same thing. And let me tell you, the look on his face when he not only found out he wasn't on the birth certificate but that she has my last name instead of his as well.....it was everything I could have dreamed of and more!! He never has gotten over it either!

 

[suzanne108]

Well, still no reply from him which I think shows just how bothered he is.

He's deffo been online as there are things on facebook...and he's off work with a broken collarbone so not like he's been busy!!

 

[purpledahlia]

screw him! ( not litterally )

 

[woadie]

Good for you, I did the same thing. And let me tell you, the look on his face when he not only found out he wasn't on the birth certificate but that she has my last name instead of his as well.....it was everything I could have dreamed of and more!! He never has gotten over it either!

Now that made me smile... lol.... thats priceless lol

 

[princessellie]

you girls are all so considerate lol, i am still with leylas dad and i gave him no choice at all in the name lol, i told him we are calling her leyla and if u decide that u want to squeeze her out of your very small hole then you can name her whatever it is that you want lmao

he said ok

x

 

[precious-gift]

im with you on this one, my ex didn't have a say on jakes name (i know that he dislikes this name!) and he has my maiden surname, i expected the registrar to ask if my ex husband agreed to his name, but she wasn't bothered he has done nothing for his son

 

[suzanne108]

He finally replied!! With his list of suggestions....although I made it clear that I'd gone through every name in my name book!!

Anyway he hates the name William which I've chosen for a middle name if I have a boy. So now I'm thinking of using it as a first name only joking!! I picked William because thats my late Grandads name so I'm afraid he'll have to like it or lump it!

Luckily he did like my other names....I couldn't be bothered with any arguing so thats the only reason I say luckily!

 

[lou_w34]

I love william! It can be shortened to billy when their all lil and cute, and when there a teenager it can be shortened to will, then when there a old man it becomes bill. If i had a boy it was either between william or finley! Tell him its only a middle name, not a first name, and to lump it lol

 

[purpledahlia]

yeah i am the same, FOB 'luckily' likes ' Ava ' and he even said he was sure we werent gonna agree, but i was just thinking, ' err.. im deciding her name.. i dont care if you like it or not.. you havnt even seen bump or scan or felt her move or anything.. why does he have the right. ' If he had hated the name i would still be using it.

William is a lovely name and has sentimental value to you, so like you say, he can lump it!!
x

 

[Mocha]

also he doesnt actualy have any right to jsut walk into ur life again, ur not married so his name doesnt have to be put on the birth cert as he has to be there for this to be done, and if u dont add his name to the birth cert he then will have to take u to court to prove the baby is actualy his

Ok, come on, that's just plain wrong. You DON'T have to put his name on the birth cert. but to do it so you can deny he's the father is just wrong. That's thinking of yourself, not the baby. Your baby has a right to know his/her father no matter what you think of him.

You very well could still end up a single mom. He might only come around once every week or two. That's up for the two of you to decide. If he's a horrible father then the courts will give primary custody to you. If he's a great father, then don't deny your daughter that (or YOURSELF!).

As for naming your child, tell him that he wasn't around for so long and he said some horrible things, and you picked out some names you like. Go ahead and ask him for his opinion on them - you don't have to change your mind. Maybe he'll disappear again by the time of the birth, or maybe he can even end up being there for support. Who knows. Don't decide the outcome before the time even comes.

William - I love that name too. It IS a middle name, and there's a sentimental reason to choosing it, so I agree that he can just deal with it... just don't even argue it, he might change his mind completely anyway in the coming weeks and then there won't be anything to stress over anyway.

 

[teal]

I agree William is a lovely name! I'm glad he liked your other names - only glad because it's easier on you xx

 

[KaeRit21]

my fob hates both names ive picked for LO (both girl and boy) and i couldnt care less. takes him a week to ask how babys doing and just expects to be automatically handed baby, and the responsibility. have told him about the surname thing, he wasnt pleased...ive yet to tell him about the BC...

xxx

 

[suzanne108]

I thought I would mention the surname thing whilst we were on the subject of names. He said he had already guessed....so thank god that was easy! xx

 

[Kara1989]

Choosing a baby's name is such a tiny part of being a father and I think he has to earn that right. He can't decide that he doesn't want to know about the health of the child (by going to the scan) but then suddenly be interested in naming it. If I were you I would just tell him that you have chosen names but that you would welcome him being an active father. He needs to realise being a father is going to mean driving up and down and being their for his child not just picking up a baby name book. I wasn't with the father of my daughters really when the second one was born but we choose Maxi together because he did continue being a good dad, I was tempted not to listen to him because he'd hurt me but made sure I made my decision on his fathering skills. You should be the same and it doesn't sound like their up to much so really the naming is your decision.