Naughty Toddler

[Layla]

Guys i seroiusly need advice, im at my witts end with Coby now.

We have teh sleep thing sorted, he goes to bed at 8 and sleeps through till 7.

But now we have a new problem, he is such a little terror! If he doesnt get his own way he will hit or kick me, if that doesnt get a responce then he will pick up the nearest thing to him and throw it at me.
He just doesnt listen atall and wants to do things his way all the time.

On hols we battled with him everyday coz he wanted to walk instead of going in the pram, not a bad thing i know but hard work when he wants to go his way not ours...

If he wants food and we say no then all hell breaks loose and he has a major tantrum, i just dont know what to do with him.

I know all kids are diffrent but Charlie and Ethan were never like this! they had there strops and bad moments but not kicking/punching/throwing and shouting at me for being told no.

He isnt even 2 yet, i have done more of less the same as i did when Charlie and Ethan were little so why is he so naughty?

Is anyone elses child like this? or has been like this on the past?

I dont know what to do, its getting to the point where i dont want to be around him when he starts, really stressful

x

 

[Hels]

Layla, Charlie HATES being told no. I try to stick to my guns and dont let her have the biscuit, chocolate, etc. She can be a little monkey, and if she is very naughty (hitting nipping etc) I take her out of the room, and sit her some where quiet and safe for a minute and tell her that what she has done is very naughty. When she comes to me afterwards I will ask if she is sorry and she usually hugs me and says 'sorry' Although she has been know to whack me and laugh out loud. She then returns to a quiet place.

Also we have noticed a HUGE difference in her behaviour after she has had anything sugary. She isnt so much Hyper, but aggresive. She has given my Dad a black eye and thrown a wooden toy at her brother. We have cut it right down, and have noticed she is much better behaved.

 

[Iwantone!!!]

how u do u feel about the naughty step i would personally take him out and of the room and get down tohis leave and explain that mums says no because its near tea time for example stick to ur guys first few days are hard and once he realised that no means no he will be less hassel and get jase to bk u up

 

[beanie]

Seren is/was the same. She went through a right strange where she would bite me if I said no to anything, and she threw things at me and hit me. I have just stuck to my guns and use positive attention. For example if she asks for anything like a biscuit and I say no she has a tantrum and I ignore her till she is quiet and then I make a fuss of her. If she is being naughty, as long as she isn't causing harmto herslef or anyone else then I again ignore her, for example the other day she wouldn't sit down after I asked her to. I ignored her and when she sat down and made a massive fuss of her. When she hit, bit or threw something at me I would say no "you have hurt mummy, and that makes her feel sad" and would look sad util she gave me alove. It took a while but she stopped biting, very rarely hits me now and hasn't thrown anyhting for ages. She still has tantrums when told no, but she is a toddler. We have also cut out alot of sugar from her diet, she hardly has sweets or chocolate and drinks either water or milk aoart from rare ocasions and she seems clamer.

However we also have the walking where she wats issue,and it is a nightmare lol.

 

[marley2580]

My brother was hyperactive and drove my mum to distraction. This was before Supernanny etc. My mum got some advice from the hyperactive children's society and totally changed his diet, this worked to some degree but it had been going on so long it had become a learned behaviour. So, going with advice, she put locks on all the doors and, when he was being a little shit, she would tell him that she loved him but that she did not like his behaviour and she would lock him out in the hall. The idea was that removal from society was the consequence of anti-social behaviour. It worked, but it was hard going - but Matthew was a particularly tough case.

 

[vicky]

aww hun, it will get better.

Kacy went through the bitting stage as well, i put her on the naughty step, yesterday i couldn't keep her on the naughty step and it hurts to keep picking her up and putting her on their, i did this for 10 mins so then i put her in her bedroom (she has a stair gate on her door), when she had calmed down a bit i put her back on the naughty step, then she said sorry.

We give her three chances and then she is on the naughty step, she have to keep to your guns hun it will get better.

 

[Layla]

thanks guys, its nice to know its not me doing something wrong!

I have been thinking alot about his diet lately, he does eat lots of fruit and veg but also does have alot of busciuts. I have noticed that every couple of days or so he will come out in a rash only on his face, but it goes by the end of the day, im convinced its down to food but i have no idea where to start in trying to figure out whats doing it.

As for teh naughty step, i have tried that but he screams and kicks and will not stay on it.

I will try the positive attention thing, thanks for that, thought about that last night, might work as he does respond when he gets told he has hurt someone, if we tell him to say sorry he will come and cuddle you so thats a good sign i guess.

On the flip side to this naughtyness.. he can be a complete angel, always wants to help you, Charlie and Ethan have pocket money jobs and Coby always helps them with it, if i ever drop anything hes the first one there to pick it up and give it to me. Each morning he comes in the bedroom and give us a kiss and cuddle, so i know he can be nice lol

The walking thing is a nightmare! i dont mind it to much coz its just him wanting to be inderpendnt, but it doesnt help if im in a rush to get somewhere lol

x

 

[skiwi]

poor thing, its not easy being a mum, when i say no to Abbie, she has started to lash out, i go down to her level and say "that is naughty" and walk off, she will have a tantrum, but i try to ignore it, cause she knows she has done wrong and wants me to go and give her cuddels, she see's that i am not giving in to her, and then come to me and i hug her....

the walking bit, its a bit of a nightmare for me, if she is in her pram, and i stop, she gets out of it, and if we walk, she does not want to hold my hand, and try putting those harness on, thats a joke.....X x X

 

[beanie]

Layla hun it is so not you doing anyhting wrong. He is a toddler. Theyt don't know naughty behaviour (I hate hearing someone refer to a baby or toddler as naughty, I will tell Seren that drawing on the wall is a naughty behaviour but never would I say she is naughty), he is just exploring his boundaries and showing his frustration at not being able to do what he wants. Hang in there, it does pass. And as for the walking thinmg i am now resigned to the fact that it is going to take me an extra half hour to walk to the shops as Seren wants to stop and look at everything, and stand on the manhole covers, and run after the pigeons. It is frustrating but I think once you accept that its them enjoying their world it helps (though she goes in her buggy if I need to get anywhere fast ) Skiwi - don't get me started on those harnesses - I will just end up dragging her round if I put that on her.

 

[Layla]

We do use the rein things, but its a better version i think, its a little back pack that he wears and there is a lead attached to that that i hold on to, hard to explain but i like them better, plus he can carry his cup in it around with him then.
I think i will just have to leave eariler for school and shopping etc so he can have his time to run and play, forward planning! at teh supermarkets now he refuses a trolly, so he walks around everywehre there too, makes shpping so much longer lol

When i say he is naughty, i dont mean him, just the things he is doing, its come as such a shock for me coz Charlie and Ethan were so good, very plasid and laid back...just goes to show that every baby/child is diffrent hey!

Thanks for your advice, i will hang in there, its just so frustrating, doesnt help that hes not really talking either so he cant tell me what he wants/needs etc, its a guessing game.

x

 

[Jo]

I really know where you are coming from Layla and you have all my love and sympathy
Emily was a star and Jack is out of control compared to her, not al the time he is so helpful and loving just like Coby but as soon as i say no all hell breaks loose!!!!!
They have both been brought up the same, same routines and everything and he has been a huge shock to my system
so i guess nature does out weight nurture to a point

So please take comfort that you are not on your own
I have a time out spot( bath mat from Ikea LOL) that Jack gets sat on when he is on one and it seems to work and he will give loves afterwards
He doesn't bite or really lash out so i don't really have advice for that except time out and ignore, thats what we used to do at nursery and it works to an extent i think.

 

[skiwi]

At least you are trying to do something about it, some mothers don't give a shit, this one time, this little boy he was about 3,when i started taking Abbie to mum's and tots, and this little boy he pushed my daughter, she went flying, i went to see if she was all right, i did not think much of it, but he kept going after her, trying to bite her run her over with a bike, hitting her, everytime i saw him going near her, i was there, thinking of my daughter's safety. I was getting so angry, and his mother was just sitting there laughing and talking, with the other mothers, saying "boys will be boys" i wanted to punch her.... x

 

[beanie]

Grr I hate parents like that. Seren once pushed a little boy over and I was so embarrassed,I made her say sorry to the little boy and apologised to his mum too. Sayig that though, she was once shoved roughly out the way by a biger girl who wanted to go on the slide before Seren, and as this girl just sat at the top of the slide Seren pushed her back all the way down the slide, and I just thought "good" though I did say to her she shouldn't do that

 

[skiwi]

I Totaly Agree With You Beanie, I Would Do The Same If My Daughter Pushed Another Kid Or Took The Toy Away..

 

[cara1974]

My DS is 13 months and has started biting me - everywhere... My ankles, my knees...my boobies...he'll grab out for my hand and pull it to his mouth. Sometimes he'll look up with a glint in his eyes as he knows he is going to make me yelp! How can I stop him doing this? Does he know right from wrong at this age? Also, getting him dressed is a nightmare lately. He has a mega tantrum the minute I put him on his back and he writhes and wriggles all over and crawls off. I almost need a restraint! I haven't managed to get into work in time for over a month as each morning is a fight to get him dressed. ( nighttime is no easier). I've tried reasoning with him. Singing. Distracting. Is this a common phase?

 

[Tilly]

Bethanie throws things at me sometimes and if I say no and point at her, she hits my hand away.. same if I put my face near to hers, she will slap me. After dinner tonight, she was having a little play with her toy on the kitchen table, but had a tantrum and threw it.. I took her by both arms and said "that is very naughty, don't throw your toy", she sulked for a few minutes lol then she gave me a little kiss. Im sure they know it's wrong, even at this kind of age.

 

[kookie]

My son caleb whos now 5 was exactly like that from about 1 1/2 till he was 4 he hated being told NO would kick and hit yell at me and was just sooo naughty, i too tried the naughty step but he'd just play up even worse he drove me insane at times. We'd go shopping he'd want everything i'd say no and he'd runn off screaming and sometimes hide under the isles i'd have to stand there untill he was ready to come out it was so embarrassing,exhausting and so frustrating. I tried changing his diet nothing worked. I ended up leaving him with my mum when i needed to do things to make it easier to get things done without the drama.Still now occasionally he chucks a huge tantrum but nothing like the nightmare he used to be.

 

[cara1974]

I know it must be frustrating for them when they can't express themselves with words properly. And it's hard to know how to reprimand when they look up at you with their big smile and shiny eyes....I'm suspecting the biting is a teething thing (hopefully) or maybe it's a new skill that makes a funny noise come out of mummy's mouth and so he wants to practice it all the time. The tantrums at not wanting to get dressed are a mystery tho.