Need Advice, Don't want Smoke around my Baby

[mommy2be412]

So some family members and friends smoke, I will not allow them to smoke around baby and I'm pretty sure they won't but the smoke smell is still embedded on their clothes, in their hair, on their skin etc even if they wash their hands and have a mint you can still smell it and I don't want my baby exposed to that but I do want her to know her extended family. Any advice? I can't imagine them getting a shower and putting on new clothes just to hold the baby.

 

[Emma867]

Good luck with that! I'm a 'social smoker' but haven't touched any during my pregnancy. I like you do not want my baby exposed to smoke and I know my friends won't smoke near my baby but I wouldn't go any further than that.

My friends are smokers and that's their choice, the smell does cling to clothes I agree, but I wouldn't stop them from holding my baby otherwise I'll end up with no friends!

 

[080509]

I would just be upfront, my parents no longer get along with us over this issue, i told them from the start with my first i don't want them smoking around him, they got all defensive but at the end of the day its my kids health, people don't have to smoke its a lifestyle choice, if they can't not smoke/wash their hands etc around kids then so be it x

 

[CatherineK]

It's YOUR baby, don't hesitate to set boundaries, I do not let anyone with stale-smoke selling hands and clothes hold my baby, simple as that. I could care less if I lose friends over it, my children are more important. And if the nastiness of stale smoke mell makes me hurl (and I smoke for years before I quit) how does it smell to a newborn baby? And that smell would cling to the baby after. No way, no how.

 

[Snowlil]

I wouldn't care if I lost any friends, It's my child's health. I am just going to say if a person asks to hold my baby and they smell of smoke; 'Sorry, you have just had a cigarette, do you mind if you hold him/her later' Something like that. If they get offended by that then that's their problem! I am really anti smoke, my dad smokes and I will say to him he can't visit the baby in hospital unless he has changed his clothes after his last cigarette! Good luck!

 

[Emma867]

If you read the reports on third hand smoke you will see it talks about chemicals clinging to clothes, hair, materials etc. it also claims to be more harmful to toddlers and young children as they put their hands on 'contaminated' areas, table tops etc. The reports aldo talk about prolonged exposure. Where do you stop with this? Excuse me can you wash your hair, change your clothes and decontaminate your house before my child comes over?

Asking your friends not to smoke around your child and was their hands is perfectly acceptable, anything more than that is extreme IMO.

 

[CatherineK]

Emma, that's your opinion for your children, and your right to have it. I am very laid back with my kids. They grow up on farms, covered in dirt, and I could care less. But I refuse to have them come in contact with smelly stale smoke. It turns my stomach and is simply my choice. As they get older s one thing, but not as an infant.

 

[Snowlil]

Emma, that's your opinion for your children, and your right to have it. I am very laid back with my kids. They grow up on farms, covered in dirt, and I could care less. But I refuse to have them come in contact with smelly stale smoke. It turns my stomach and is simply my choice. As they get older s one thing, but not as an infant.

Same here!

 

[HHenderson]

Hahah I was just talking about this the other day. Its going to KILLLLLLL my mother!! I can smell her down the damn block she smokes so much. I have asthma too, only one in the whole family and extended family and am convinced she smoked during her pregnancy. My daughter now isnt allowed around her while smoking or ANYONE smoking for that matter. This time she is NOT allowed to touch my baby unless she washes her nasty hands and puts on a scrub at the hospital. Theres NO way that shit is being transferred to my LO right after birth, NO WAY. I am struggling with my asthma getting worse during pregnancy and it sucks, just sucks and I blame it on her. For me its not something Im going to just be nice about, if she dont like it.. dont come. I even warned her ahead of time. If I have to buy her a pair of scrubs ahead of time for her to change I will.

 

[PrincessJJ]

I was thinking this the other day.... When my OH goes round to his mums, even if he's only there 10mins he stinks of smoke to the point where he has to get changed when he gets back.... I'm not sure i want the new baby in that environment, but kind of feel like I have no choice or its going to cause major problems.xxx

 

[HHenderson]

I was thinking this the other day.... When my OH goes round to his mums, even if he's only there 10mins he stinks of smoke to the point where he has to get changed when he gets back.... I'm not sure i want the new baby in that environment, but kind of feel like I have no choice or its going to cause major problems.xxx

Have her come to your house!

 

[PrincessJJ]

I was thinking this the other day.... When my OH goes round to his mums, even if he's only there 10mins he stinks of smoke to the point where he has to get changed when he gets back.... I'm not sure i want the new baby in that environment, but kind of feel like I have no choice or its going to cause major problems.xxx

Have her come to your house!

They live 6 doors away but are lazy as hell, It'll be me that's expected to make the effort to take little one there i expect as that's how they are with everything else.
Iv had the discussion with my parents about keeping their front room smoke free If they are expecting baby to come there.... But OH's parents won't do anything for us, oh asked them not to smoke in the same room as me but they don't listen :/ xxx

 

[mommy2be412]

It also worries me at the hospital because I know staff members smoke.

 

[mrsdcooper]

I don't take them to anyone's house who smokes. Anyone of my friends who wants to come round knows they have to have a shower and clean clothes beforehand. My friends have been really good about this and make the effort. I was honest and upfront and they understood and said they would stop if they had a baby so can see where I'm coming from.

 

[Pielette]

I'm fortunate in that no-one in my life smokes so I don't have this issue. But if I did I certainly wouldn't go to their house. I don't really care who it is and what their relationship to my children is. I wouldn't be rude but I would be honest and firm and say if you want to see my babies you'll need to come to mine or we'll meet out somewhere.

 

[special_kala]

Smokers don't hold my babies for st least half an hour after smoking and they wash their hands, remove coats.

Just be upfront about it I can't see people complaining, not to your face at least lol

 

[Amberyll23]

The only ones amongst my close friends and family who smoke are my in-laws. I have RAD that is triggered by cigarrette smoke, so I have always made a point to politely ask them not to smoke around me and if they light up, I have always left the room or walked away, and I never cared if it offended them or not.

With my children, I am very strict. I tell them under no certain terms can they smoke around or near my children. When we go to visit, (they live a few states away), we always get a hotel room, and if they come in from smoking and I can smell it heavily on them, I ask them to please wash their hands/change their shirt before handling my babies. I am especially glad that I have had this policy since day 1 as my DD1 is showing early signs of RAD.

I don't care that they are smokers, that is their decision, their life choice, and I respect that. DH and I have never asked them to quit, nor do we lecture them about the harm smoking can cause to their health. However, just as I respect their life choices, they in turn, must respect our decision to keep our and our children's exposure to cigarrette smoke and its remnants/ashes at a bare minimum and out of their little lungs.

 

[pandaspot]

I am totally the same, I am an ex smoker. I don't want my baby being exposed to it at all! Smoke or the smell of it

 

[Blzgak]

I am also an ex smoker and grew up with a mother who smoked in the house around us. I'm not comfortable with people handling my child after smoking even if they wash their hands because it is embedded in their clothes and hair. I know I wouldn't want to be around that smell, but at least I have the choice to get up and leave if I don't like it. My child's health is a lot more important than a friendship and if someone doesn't understand where I'm coming from, then maybe we shouldn't be friends after all.

 

[babyhopes2010]

i wouldnt allow them to smoke near a baby or me however its unrealistic to tell them they cant smoke atall