Need help/advice on quitting pumping

[susannah14]

Hi ladies, looking for some help. Here's briefly my story:

I went back to work full-time 6 weeks pp and pumped for daycare. I seemed to have a lot of milk and every day I pumped more than my baby needed for the next day, so I built up quite a stash. Over the course of the next year I donated over 2500 oz.

At 7 months pp, I started staying home and only working part-time. I still continued to pump off the extra milk even at home. I think this helped my supply stay high even though my son was eating a lot of solids.

In August (11 months pp), I gave away all my frozen milk and started from zero. I said to myself, "I'd like to have 1500 oz again in the freezer just for my son, so he can have breast milk until he's 2. Then I can stop pumping." Now 1500 oz is plenty. It's more than he needs, especially since I plan to keep nursing until at least 18-24 months.

I recently surpassed the 1500 oz. And I feel like I'm a prisoner that just got let out of jail, but I'm standing in the middle of a busy street asking, "Now what?". I've been longing for the day when I don't have to pump, but now that it's here, I am having a hard time giving it up.

I know the easy answer is, "Stop pumping and your supply will adjust to exactly what your baby eats." But when I'm about to go to bed and my left boob hasn't been fed since 3 PM and I know I have 4-5 oz in it, I CAN'T NOT PUMP! All I can think about is how much it will be hurting my supply. Logically I know, it's okay, I don't need that extra milk, but OMG it's so hard to let go.

Has anyone gone through this same thing?

I should add that I don't have a strong reason to stop pumping other than it would give me more time in my life...I got my fertility back 7 months ago and I don't even want another kid so no problems there!

 

[scoobydrlp]

I get where you're coming from. I stopped pumping about a month ago, and while I don't miss it a bit, I do notice myself worrying about my supply and wanting my LO to nurse just to keep my supply up. I've been paranoid tonight about it because I gave LO a bottle of defrosted breastmilk after I brought her home from daycare because I didn't want to throw it out. Well that threw off our whole evening schedule and she wouldn't nurse before bed like she always does. So of course I'm just positive my supply will be ruined. Paranoia!!

I have no advice for you, haha, but wanted to let you know I feel your pain!

 

[susannah14]

Thanks, it's comforting to know it's not just me! Surely there must be others as well?

I tried to resist the urge to pump before bed last night, but I couldn't. All I was doing was sitting on the couch watching anyway, and it was hardly any extra effort.

Maybe I'll try dropping a mid-day pump and see how that goes...

Scooby-What was your rationale for quitting pumping? Do you not pump at work anymore?

 

[scoobydrlp]

Yeah pumping at work was a huge pain in the ass. It was hard to find time to do it, and I had to kick somebody out of their own office in order to have the privacy to do it. I have enough supply in the freezer to make it to LOs first birthday which was my breast feeding goal in the first place, so I just quit pumping at work. I still want to breast feed in the morning and at night, which has been going well so far.

I think your idea of dropping one pumping session at a time is a great idea.

 

[seaweed eater]

It is super duper normal. All the hormones are telling us that the milk in our boobs is for our babies. So many EPers have an extremely hard time weaning from the pump because of exactly what you describe.

Are you prone to clogs/mastitis? That might be a way of dropping more gradually than just cutting a 4-5oz pump. It all depends on your capacity and your milk and your proneneness to this stuff -- I had no problem cutting a 6oz session cold turkey. Just something to consider. If you need to reduce more gradually, you could drop your output by an ounce every few days until you get to about 1-2oz.

I think it's extra hard, aside from the hormones, because it's drilled into us that BM is this amazing stuff (which it is)...it's hard not to make as much as we can and to want to nourish our supply at all costs I'm sure it feels amazing to donate, too (and thank you for doing that ). Just remember that having milk in your boobs doesn't give you an obligation to do anything. It's YOUR body. Your job is to feed your son and you can do that perfectly without all the extra milk.

 

[susannah14]

It is super duper normal. All the hormones are telling us that the milk in our boobs is for our babies. So many EPers have an extremely hard time weaning from the pump because of exactly what you describe.

Are you prone to clogs/mastitis? That might be a way of dropping more gradually than just cutting a 4-5oz pump. It all depends on your capacity and your milk and your proneneness to this stuff -- I had no problem cutting a 6oz session cold turkey. Just something to consider. If you need to reduce more gradually, you could drop your output by an ounce every few days until you get to about 1-2oz.

I think it's extra hard, aside from the hormones, because it's drilled into us that BM is this amazing stuff (which it is)...it's hard not to make as much as we can and to want to nourish our supply at all costs I'm sure it feels amazing to donate, too (and thank you for doing that ). Just remember that having milk in your boobs doesn't give you an obligation to do anything. It's YOUR body. Your job is to feed your son and you can do that perfectly without all the extra milk.

Thank you seaweed, this has been very helpful. Thank you for taking the time to reply. I've never had mastitis and I've only had a few clogged ducts...but currently I never go more than 8 hours without pumping/feeding...so who knows what might happen if I dropped all my pumps completely.

Today I only pumped once at work... Normally it's 2-3 sessions. I think I'm going to continue only pumping once at work (don't feel comfortable dropping all work pumps because I would have 2 feeds if I were with my son).

You hit it exactly, seaweed- we are so ingrained to feel that milk is magic, precious, liquid gold, and to preserve it at all costs. What I'm trying to do now is so counter-intuitive to what little (!) motherly instincts I have.