Need some advice on access arrangements

[flumpandme]

Hi Ladies

I had a baby 5 weeks ago tomorrow, and me and the father were on and off for most of my pregnancy, he came back into our lives in the last 2 weeks of my pregnancy and was involved heavily in our child's life till last sunday.

he has asked to see his child for one week out of 4 so every three weeks he expects me to let him take my baby 257 miles away from me to live with him for the week, i said no to this and now he is asking for one/two days a month when he will travel up see the baby and then travel back down.

im worried he may try to abscond with the baby, do you think i am been over protective, what would you ladies do ?, i dont wnat him to take him away from the house but how can I stop him with out looking paranoid. i feel completely devastated, emotional and abandoned

Vicky

 

[JA1988]

Your baby is only 5 weeks old and needs his mother, are you breastfeeding? If so then he definitely won't get unsupervised/overnights anytime soon, if not then he still is very unlikely to be granted unsupervised until 6 months at the very earliest. I am in a similar situation with my fob and I am just sticking to my guns. I have offered plenty of reasonable access, it is supervised by myself and a family member and is fortnightly for several hours at a time. I breastfeed and intend to do so until lo self weans and my fob lives over 3 hours away so overnights is an absolute no no until lo is ideally of school age, this is what my solicitor has told me is reasonable. Just keep a log of everything that you have offered etc, make sure you offer fair and frequent access and be as cooperative as possible but only allow what YOU are comfortable with. If he is still not happy then tell him to go to court and get a contact order, at least they will see you have been as fair as possible whilst keeping your lo's best interests at heart. xx