Need Some Advice!!!

[bbyno1]

its a hard one..
he could of sent her texts before because to text someone just saying hey sexy might be a bit too full on for a 1st time text so maybe they have had past text history who knows?his name wasnt at the end of the text so that shows that she must know hes number already?

your head will be all over the place and you wont know what to think until you speak to him..
like you say you think he wouldnt cheat so maybe hes just doing it for abit of attention and to be receiving different kinda texts from the average texts that you guys send?not to sound harsh ..
i know my OH must get bored with mine because i always end up sending the same kinda msgs lol..

explain that its not because u didnt trust him,just because your pregnant,hormones all over the place,you dont feel 'sexy' in yourself anymore and that he has actually given you reason to want to go down hes phone by him holding it so tight to him all the time which is out of character and now that you have found something your not in the wrong for looking anyway so dont let him turn things around on you it would be different if you was all sneaky about it like going down hes phone while hes alseep and you find absolutly nothing then maybe feel the guilt but given the text you found dont feel bad x

 

[leo_mummy]

its a hard one..
he could of sent her texts before because to text someone just saying hey sexy might be a bit too full on for a 1st time text so maybe they have had past text history who knows?his name wasnt at the end of the text so that shows that she must know hes number already?

your head will be all over the place and you wont know what to think until you speak to him..
like you say you think he wouldnt cheat so maybe hes just doing it for abit of attention and to be receiving different kinda texts from the average texts that you guys send?not to sound harsh ..
i know my OH must get bored with mine because i always end up sending the same kinda msgs lol..

explain that its not because u didnt trust him,just because your pregnant,hormones all over the place,you dont feel 'sexy' in yourself anymore and that he has actually given you reason to want to go down hes phone by him holding it so tight to him all the time which is out of character and now that you have found something your not in the wrong for looking anyway so dont let him turn things around on you it would be different if you was all sneaky about it like going down hes phone while hes alseep and you find absolutly nothing then maybe feel the guilt but given the text you found dont feel bad x

he has her number saved in his fone, because before you open the text it says her name, so she is in his fonebook.
i foned him and he has just finished work, so when he gets home i will speak 2him.

i trust him enough to ask him on the fone, because whatever he says wont make a difference, i just want to no why he would do it.

He no's how i feel at the moment and what i have been through with my past relationships, and for him to do this, not nowing that i would hav found out makes me wonder what it could lead to if i dont mention it to him.

 

[rainbows_x]

Aww hun

You definitley need to sit down and talk to him about it, that's what I would do. Just explain why you looked, and what you found - then give him a chance to explain.

It may be something simple, or it may be something you really don't want to hear, but I hope you two can work things out whichever it is.
Let us know how it goes hun, good luck
x

 

[mayb_baby]

Normally I find if you have that ‘feeling’ its usually right trust your gutt and I hope it all goes well


xxxxxxxxx

 

[AnnabelsMummy]

Ohh hun.. first a big !!
You're not bad for checking his phone - at the end of the day, why shouldn't you? you shouldn't have anything to find right? so then if there's nothing to find, then why should it matter, if there's something there, then you'd rather know, and if there's not then you just feel a bit silly, and it makes you feel reassured right?

secondly, i'd say speak to him - don't approach him in an angry way, as hell just get defensive and angry back, but just say, it's not that you don't trust him..
but what with being pregnant and your hormones flying high, you got really paranoid and not sure why and you got an urge to check his phone - but you were convinced you wouldn't find anything on there, so it really upset you and surprised you when you did.. because deep down you really wasn't expecting it..
and just explain what you saw, and it made you feel really upset and like he doesn't care any more (basically explain how it made you feel)..

he might have just been doing it because he feels scared and unattractive and needed reassurance.. he might just need to feel attractive again and by attention from this girl, he might have been made to feel more secure? if that was all it was then i guess it's not anything major, he just needs to know the way you feel, and that if he feels like he's unattractive - there's one woman who think's he's the most amazing person ever.. and actually what that one woman (who's also carrying his baby, and has choosen to be with him) thinks, means more than these stupid girls who throw themselves at other people's boyfriends?

if you ask him, you'll probably know whether he's lying, by his response.. trust your instinct it's probably right - and at the end of the day, somehting made you feel insecure, so if you speak to him, make sure there's things that won't make you doubt it in future, whether it's something like you know his passwords (obviously you won't abuse them by going on all the time, but there's a chance you could, and the fact you can means you probably won't need to)

or you could wait and see if he gets replies or he sends any more? but then again, you could end up not being sure when to find the right time.. or not finding anything else, and this one thing playing on your mind over and over.

xxxx

i thought to myself that maybe it was my hormones but this is a one time instinct that came upon me and i had to reaasure myself whatever the outcome was going to be.

i am planning to confront him about it, and im prepared for him to tell me as to why he sent this text message to her. but the fact that he sent it, makes me feel like as you said maybe he might have been feeling abit unattractive at the time, and with me being pregnant, he just wanted some love and attention, but looked for it in the wrong place.

if i wait to see if he gets other replies i might find myself acting abit different around him, because i will always be waiting for a response, and every second i will be checking his fone for replies, and i dont want our relationship to be like that because i do trust him xxxxx

yeah it could be a number of things - it could be nothing at all.. and i hope it is.. i think it's common for boys.. especially when their partners are pregnant, to need to feel wanted and attractive.. (gawdd, and they're not even the ones getting fat and stretchmarks hehe)..

also he's gunna be a daddy, maybe he just thought "omg, now i'm gunna have a baby, nobody's ever gunna fancy me again".. sounds mean but even i've thought that, if me and OH broke up, i'd never be attractive to anyone else.. it's stupid and actually i don't want to be with anyone other than OH, but it's just a what if thing..

at the end of the day, he sent it and it upset you - so i'd say you just need to talk and find out his reasoning.. at the end of the day, he needs to know, him sending texts like that, makes you feel unattractive and unwanted.. and it's not on, at the same time, if he is feeling insecure, then maybe you could do stuff together to make you both feel that bit better..

maybe just a romantic evening together, no baby stuff, and just cuddles and a nice meal.. surprise him.. make him feel special and yourself..

yeah i wouldn't have advised the waiting to see if there's more - because if there isn't then it'd be a bit silly mentioning it in a month.. and getting all worked up just to find out that actually it was something with a completely rational explaination!

hope it goes okay, and you two manage to sort it out, and be stronger and better for it, cause you know you can talk if you feel funny or like you need more attention.
xxxx

 

[leo_mummy]

Ohh hun.. first a big !!
You're not bad for checking his phone - at the end of the day, why shouldn't you? you shouldn't have anything to find right? so then if there's nothing to find, then why should it matter, if there's something there, then you'd rather know, and if there's not then you just feel a bit silly, and it makes you feel reassured right?

secondly, i'd say speak to him - don't approach him in an angry way, as hell just get defensive and angry back, but just say, it's not that you don't trust him..
but what with being pregnant and your hormones flying high, you got really paranoid and not sure why and you got an urge to check his phone - but you were convinced you wouldn't find anything on there, so it really upset you and surprised you when you did.. because deep down you really wasn't expecting it..
and just explain what you saw, and it made you feel really upset and like he doesn't care any more (basically explain how it made you feel)..

he might have just been doing it because he feels scared and unattractive and needed reassurance.. he might just need to feel attractive again and by attention from this girl, he might have been made to feel more secure? if that was all it was then i guess it's not anything major, he just needs to know the way you feel, and that if he feels like he's unattractive - there's one woman who think's he's the most amazing person ever.. and actually what that one woman (who's also carrying his baby, and has choosen to be with him) thinks, means more than these stupid girls who throw themselves at other people's boyfriends?

if you ask him, you'll probably know whether he's lying, by his response.. trust your instinct it's probably right - and at the end of the day, somehting made you feel insecure, so if you speak to him, make sure there's things that won't make you doubt it in future, whether it's something like you know his passwords (obviously you won't abuse them by going on all the time, but there's a chance you could, and the fact you can means you probably won't need to)

or you could wait and see if he gets replies or he sends any more? but then again, you could end up not being sure when to find the right time.. or not finding anything else, and this one thing playing on your mind over and over.

xxxx

i thought to myself that maybe it was my hormones but this is a one time instinct that came upon me and i had to reaasure myself whatever the outcome was going to be.

i am planning to confront him about it, and im prepared for him to tell me as to why he sent this text message to her. but the fact that he sent it, makes me feel like as you said maybe he might have been feeling abit unattractive at the time, and with me being pregnant, he just wanted some love and attention, but looked for it in the wrong place.

if i wait to see if he gets other replies i might find myself acting abit different around him, because i will always be waiting for a response, and every second i will be checking his fone for replies, and i dont want our relationship to be like that because i do trust him xxxxx

yeah it could be a number of things - it could be nothing at all.. and i hope it is.. i think it's common for boys.. especially when their partners are pregnant, to need to feel wanted and attractive.. (gawdd, and they're not even the ones getting fat and stretchmarks hehe)..

also he's gunna be a daddy, maybe he just thought "omg, now i'm gunna have a baby, nobody's ever gunna fancy me again".. sounds mean but even i've thought that, if me and OH broke up, i'd never be attractive to anyone else.. it's stupid and actually i don't want to be with anyone other than OH, but it's just a what if thing..

at the end of the day, he sent it and it upset you - so i'd say you just need to talk and find out his reasoning.. at the end of the day, he needs to know, him sending texts like that, makes you feel unattractive and unwanted.. and it's not on, at the same time, if he is feeling insecure, then maybe you could do stuff together to make you both feel that bit better..

maybe just a romantic evening together, no baby stuff, and just cuddles and a nice meal.. surprise him.. make him feel special and yourself..

yeah i wouldn't have advised the waiting to see if there's more - because if there isn't then it'd be a bit silly mentioning it in a month.. and getting all worked up just to find out that actually it was something with a completely rational explaination!

hope it goes okay, and you two manage to sort it out, and be stronger and better for it, cause you know you can talk if you feel funny or like you need more attention.
xxxx

we dont live in the same house so its kind of hard to see each other.
because of how he works, he is out his house at 7.30am an sometimes doesnt get back to his house till about 10.30pm (thats the latest), the earliest could be around 6pm, and when he does get in he is tired and just wants to sleep really.
i cant really fink of a reason as to why he would ever have to send such texts like that, but when i speak 2 him, then will i only no the truth.

 

[RachelRae]

This happens a lot in relationships, it happened in mine. & let me tell you, I'm probaly the most jealous girlfriend out there. So, the first time I saw it I definately had a talk with him about it and said that girl didn't mean anything, and that it was just a one time thing. So we went on from there,

I think the best thing you can do is tell him a lot that you trust him, more than accuse him on cheating on you and texting other girls. Because that just pushes them away, they'll feel a lot more guilty doing it if they know how much you trust them. & they want to hear that too,

he no's how much i trust him and i no deep down and am assured about the fact that he wouldnt cheat. i dont feel that he did it on a boredom basis because i was on the fone to him and we was fine a couple of minutes before he had sent that text message. We haven't had a argument in ages, so i dont understand as to why he would do such a thing.

if i confront him i dont want him to feel like i will always be checking his fone all the time, but as i said i really had a urge that somefing didnt feel rite for him to be hiding his fone from me when he has never done it in the past.
He does not have a password on his fone, so thats gives me reassurance in some ways.

Awh, well it's good that you trust him a lot!

I don't think it's anything, it just depends on what you want to do. You could either sit down and have a conversation about it, but not make him feel that your mad at him or anything or you could just ignore it and not say anything. But, it might put your mind at rest by saying something. I don't know, it's whatever you feel comfortable doing.

 

[leo_mummy]

Awh, well it's good that you trust him a lot!

I don't think it's anything, it just depends on what you want to do. You could either sit down and have a conversation about it, but not make him feel that your mad at him or anything or you could just ignore it and not say anything. But, it might put your mind at rest by saying something. I don't know, it's whatever you feel comfortable doing. [/QUOTE]

im just gonna sit down with him and lay it on the table, i just dont no how to approach him about it.
im going to tell him that i went through his fone and i did it because of a instinct i had, because i dont wanna have to lie and make him feel insecure about fings that he does in the future.

 

[RachelRae]

Yeah, that sounds good! But, you definately have to keep us updated and tell us what happens.

 

[leo_mummy]

Yeah, that sounds good! But, you definately have to keep us updated and tell us what happens.

im gonna fone him in a little while, so i will definitely tell you what he is saying.
you mite end up finding that while im on the fone to him im on her asking you girls what is it that he means when he tells me his reason xx

 

[RachelRae]

Yeah, that sounds good! But, you definately have to keep us updated and tell us what happens.

im gonna fone him in a little while, so i will definitely tell you what he is saying.
you mite end up finding that while im on the fone to him im on her asking you girls what is it that he means when he tells me his reason xx

Haha, well were here for you!

 

[bbyno1]

best of luck xx