Need some buddies 1dpo, its a waiting game!

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no they did not...they did lots of blood work,tested my placenta and autopsied the baby...didn't find anything. But this is what happened to me...a week before i was scheduled to have the u/s i had passed out, (it happens to me every so often) and a few hours later i started spotting. The spotting went away but at the time i passed outand after that i had these horrible cramps or pains. I have an at home baby doppler so I tried to find the hb, couldn't so i called my ob/gyn and they seen me. My spotting stopped but was still having pains. They found the heartbeat and said it was good, strong, etc. They did not do an u/s...they sent me home and a week later i went to that appt and they couldn't find the hb. I don't know what happened in that week time frame...but i wish they would've done an u/s but since they found the hb and it seemed fine, they didn't think there was a need for an u/s. That is atough thing to have to go through to wonder why it happened since they did not find anything. It probably had to do with that passing out and the pains. I just don't know where exactly the pains were coming from inside me. Well, whats done is done, I can't go back to try and fix anything. I was smoking at the time and I wish I would've quit when I found out but stupid me, didn't. I smoked with my 1st daughter and 1/2 of my 2nd daughter. I didn't think it be a problem, but sometimes i wonder....especially since I read smoking cuts oxygen supply and makes sense since just all of a sudden his heart stopped beating...i was killing him with my smoke. But I don't know..i'll never know why.
 
oh Heather! first, i want to say that i'm very sorry if what i asked is painful or rude somehow. second, i want to say that whatever you want or dont want to share with us is your choice, and i appreciate your honesty and generosity with information and advice. i have limited info on what smoking can do while pregnant, but you mentioned that you have recently quit, which is SO AWESOME! so no matter when your next pregnancy happens, you are one more step in the healthy direction, which is so so great! i know that hearing your story reminds me of how precious life can be, and i hope it is somehow helpful to you to be able to talk about it. i know from experience that talking can be very therapeutic. hugs!
 
thanks so much mirolee...yes very therapeutic but don't like to think about it. Yes, it will be 6 months since I quit smoking on tuesday the 16th. I quit April 16th. It will definately help when I get preggo again to have to not worry so much about the effects of smoking but there will ALWAYS be a little worryand paranoia until that baby is in my arms. THanks for listening and I am here anytime and there is nothing I can't talk about...i just don't like talking about it, make sense? Thanks again. :hugs: Hope everyone has a great weekend!
 
is it time to ovulate yet? bray, how are you feeling?
 
Heather, again, your story breaks my heart.

Mirolee, I'm feeling fine, thanks for asking. It's weird though, ever since O day, I've had some sort of spotting. (TMI warning) We BD Monday (O day), and before we did, I put the preseed applicator inside of me, and when I pulled it out, there was this creamy white stuff w/a little bit of pink mixed in it covering the applicator and then the next morning, I whiped and there was just a spot of pink. Now, I'm getting that nasty brown discharge. So, I don't know if it's just from O, which I think it's weird that I'm still doing it. It's too early for me to be pregnant officially (I'm only 4DPO). So who knows.
 
hi bray! dont you ever just think to yourself, "what the hell is it THIS time?". maybe you scratched yourself a little when you put the preseed in. maybe it's a little O blood. maybe it's implantation. maybe it's a drop in estrogen or progesterone that resulted in a little bit of the lining of the uterus coming off. ugh! our bodies! gah! got my fingers crossed it's good signs.... keep temping... GL! FX!
tonight would be a great night to meet you gals at happy hour - i'll be thinking of you! "it's 5 o'clock somewhere!"
 
I would love nothing more than a stiff drink. *It happened. *The one thing that I was dreading...Found out tonight, that my SIL (DH brother's wife) is pregnant. *The real kicker here, they weren't even trying. *She's catholic & doesn't believe in birth control & one drunken night, it happened. *I just feel dead. *My heart is broken. *I hate myself because of how I'm feeling right now. *My anger towards them is unjustified. *DH is being extremely supportive, but as you can imagine, he's upset too. *They thankfully had the good grace to tell my husband over the phone so he could tell me when we were alone. *I burst into tears & he held me & let me cry. *He said at some point I should call & congratulate them. *I wanted to laugh. *Really? *I told him there's no way I'm calling them ever to congratulate them. *Isn't that terrible? *I can't even be happy for them. *I don't know if I'll ever be. *How bitter & terrible am I? *I feel like I'm going to have an anxiety attack just thinking about the next time I have to see his family. *The next time I have to see THEM. *The topics going to come up & I just can't handle it. *I'm going to have to paste on a smile & pretend everythings all right. *I can't do it. *I can't. *Oh God...I HATE THIS! *I F***ing HATE IT! *ITS NOT FAIR! *WHAT DID I EVER DO TO MERIT THIS SORT OF PUNISHMENT?! *Thanks for listening to my rant. *I think I'm going to go wallow in my own self pity.
 
PS - Not sure why there are stars. I did type them in there.
 
Rachael - oh my heart goes out to you! I know 1837482% how you are feeling. The SAME thing happened with my sister (she got pregnant the first month off bc, 1 week after their wedding, and told me the same week I was told my husband had no sperm (and all dreams of biological children went up in flames)). You cannot say anything that will surprise, shock, or offend me. It took MONTHS for me to face her again. And therapy. And after my nephew was born I only visited him when my mom was watching him so I didn't have to see her. And it's now 4 years later, she's pregnant with her second, and I am still waiting. Oh how I wish i could drive to your house and let you know what you're feeling is normal, and you absolutely need time to process and grieve and deal. I don't know what you will do; I found that if I focused on getting thru the meet and greet and then leaving, most people understood that I was human, and not strong enough to shoulder the burden of being happy for her and being at my lowest point simultaneously. I didn't even go to my sisters shower (went for like ten mins at the beginning, started crying and having an anxiety attack, and left). Pease please please do something for yourself that is healing - counseling, yoga, swimming laps - and allow that time to be the time for all the ugly to come out. It's not pretty, but it is there, and it's real, and it's not wrong. Sending comfort and hugs and support over the Internet. And a stiff drink. -M-
 
aww, Bray...I hope your spotting signs are good sign. FX and hope this is it. I can't imagine how you're feeling but I can tell and understand it's hard. I know there isn't anything I can say to make your pain go away or really even help at that. All we can do is pray to God to give you a baby you are longing for and DESERVE! Have you ever thought about a surrogate, even? Did you do ivf? I think I recall you did an iui but i don't know what all these things are. My best friend had trouble getting pregnant and her problem was that her eggs just weren't reaching maturity so she had to take pills to help with that and did ivf and got pregnant. I wish nothing but the best for you and I understand your feeling of not feeling happy for themor wanting to congratulate them, but it is the right thing to do, we are human and you are not a terrible person. One of my fav sayings.."Treat people the way you want to be treated".. if it was the other way around, would you want your sil to give you a short congratulatory call if she was trying for 3 years with no success? Just an opinion..trying to help you. :hugs:
 
Bray, do they know you're trying? If yes, it's totally respectable to call (at some point) and give congrats, and as nicely as possible let SIL know that while you are happy for them, it will need time to sink in for you. If they do not know, you can still congratulate but deflect questions with any of these phrases: DH and I are on the same page about children (they don't need to know the page ); I appreciate you're wondering about me, but we have a planm(they don't need to know the plan); and one of my current fans that I've been using with my concerned but nosy sister - your nose doesn't belong in my bedroom. My sister tries and tries to get more out of me - what's the plan? What's the page? What conversations are you having? - and I just repeat "the same page as DH, good conversations, I love you but this isn't your business". Give it a couple days. When you can honestly say, " I'm happy for you, congratulations, I can't wait to meet my niece/nephew" - you should call. It might be only a ten minute window in the day, but I promise you will have that tiny glimmer of excitement for a new person in your family at some point. It's tough my friend, but you have inner strength, and good character. Feel your feelings, let the bad out and away, let the good bubble to the surface. I can't believe I made it thru that time and I adore my nephew now. You CAN do this.
 
Thanks guys for all the love and support. They know how long we've been trying and all of our struggles. DH brother even told him that he was surprised that Derek(DH) wasn't more excited for them. Derek was just like, well, I'm not going to be jumping up and down right now, I'm sorry. I know his family is going to want to tiptoe around the subject, but they will want to pry much more and know how we're dealing with it. I love them all so very much, but they are nosy. I'll just leave. I can't deal with it right now. I'm trying to imagine dealing with seeing her and her ever growing belly and I honestly don't know how I'm going to be able to even be in their presence with bursting into tears. I'm sorry, I know I should be supportive and a big girl and at the very least send an impersonal message on facebook telling them how oh so happy I am that they're pregnant, but for now, I need to sulk. I need to curl up into a ball and cry. I tried forever to fall asleep last night so I could forget for a little while, but I probably laid there for at least 2 hours, just silently crying. I'm sorry guys. I know I'm being a selfish, self pitying baby right now.
 
Bray! You cannot be happy and supportive and loving if you don't get past the sulking and jealous and pain - so you are not a huge "selfish self pitying baby" - you're human! It hurts, it sucks, it's not fair! It's only been hours since you got the news. I promise, the pain subsides (sorry dear, it never truly goes away, but you learn to acknowledge it without being enveloped by it). You will be able to say congrats and mean it. It will ache to see her belly growing, but she won't always be pregnant, and before you know it (although it feels like Freakin' FOREVER but it's not) there will be a new baby for you in your life - no, not yours, I get it, I'm not saying that. But a baby (as you know) is so special and does something to melt the hard heart. Rachael, I really really am not just spouting, i've been through this dark tunnel. There will be days.... Where the sun just isn't shining and everywhere you look are injustices. But there will be days when you feel that tiny ray of hope, a spark of light, a breaking of the sad.... And those are the days that will keep you afloat. I'm not worldly, or very political, I don't have more than a bachelors degree. But I do know this experience. Have your day, or two, or a week. You will know when you can send with an honest heart your congratulations. It does not negate your pain or feelings or trials. It acknowledges their news. And this, too, shall pass.
 
Hey guys...well, I'm still upset, but for now, I'm just in denial. They aren't really pregnant, it was some really terrible nightmare (how sad is it that THAT'S my nightmare)that I have woken up from and don't have to deal with until I see DH's family...which I will be avoiding like the plague. I know this is a totally unhealthy way to deal with this, but at least I can function without walking around like a zombie.

So, ever since O, I have been spotting. It's all been brown or light pink. This can't be good or normal, so I'm going to call my FS today and ask them about it. It's not just like once a day either, it's every time I wipe (sorry TMI). I also noticed that if I Oed when the bbt chart says I did last month, then my lp was only 11 days. Weren't one of you doing something natural to increase your lp?

Anyways, thanks again for the support ladies. I'm sure that once I have to actually face this, I'll need your support again. I honestly don't know what I'd do without any of you.
 
that's a good idea to talk to your fs....i don't think it's normal. I hope it's nothing serious but everything happens for a reason andmayhbe they will find something, fix it and you can start your ttc journey and end up preggo very soon!? I haven't taken anthing to increase my lp...they don't really consider an abnormal lp defect unless it's around 10 or less. I wouldn't worry too much about it. But keep an eye on it if it goes down! Good luck to you! Hang in there sweetie! :hugs:

cd8 today? dtd lastnight and probably again tonight then nexy time hubby has off on cd13 we are starting to bd!... got my preseed and ready to go! Did something daring yesterday and got my nose pierced..just a diamond (jewel) stud in my nostril. It's cute. I've had my belly button done over 10 years ago, but don't have it now and my ears are pierced and I have 2 tattoos. Now my nose... maybe i'm too old.
 
Talked to my nurse at the fs and it doesn't sound like I'm going to hear anything until Thursday. She also said that they will try to come up with a plan for me that doesn't require me to take any time off of work. Yey!!!

Have fun bding Heather!

How's things going hw?
 
hi ladies!
cd6 for me and nothing special to report. hoping to dtd tonight to just get back into the groove again...
bray, i am taking vitamin B complex, 100 mg per day. my LP was 10-11 days, had some spotting before, etc. This month (3rd month) my LP was 15 days. Yes, i did have some spotting, but it was not like what i used to get. I'm not saying it was only the VitB, but it's the only thing i added to my vitamin regimen. GL with the FS!
Heather, i also have my belly button and nose pierced! i just have a little diamond also, it's a little more professional than a nose-ring in my line of work (presenting and meeting clients and stuff). i love how feminine it looks while in my mind it's so rebellious, haha!
i'm having a lot of pain in my wrist, so i'm making an appt to have that looked at. i think i need carpel tunnel surgery, but not sure how that will fit in my life. the pain has become constant now and really interfering with normal stuff, like picking up pots and pans and stuff. we'll see.
i hope everyone has a great monday!
 
oh no, hope you don't have to have ct surgery...but you can't suffer. i hope you get better soon. i took 1 vitamin b complex 50mg pill one day and i hated how it turned my pee bright yellow...and i read that it is extra vitamins your body doesnt need or something so i stopped taking them figuring i must not need them?
 
I forgot to mention the piercings thing. I'm really boring, I've had my ears pierced since I was 6 and I've had to get my belly button pierced 3 different times because it kept growing out.

I'm not symptom spotting or anything, b/c I know it's pointless, but I noticed last night I had a metalic taste in my mouth and this morning the side of my boob was sore. Like I said, not symptom spotting or anything...:winkwink:
 
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