Need some buddies :) - ltttc w/ success stories!

[HWPG]

laus, yes, thats what i meant. i see you changed your signature on the side (yay! rainbow baby!). you could put a lilypie ticker in or something, if you wanted.

 

[laustiredttc]

ha ha Mirolee i am the worst person with technology. Seriuosly i wouldnt know where to start, i'm not even on FB. I know how to do the bottom one though lol.

 

[Brayr08]

I'm sorry you had such a bad experiance hw. I had to get my yearly w/my obgyn last week and there were a couple very pregnant woman in the waiting room and this big TV talking about being pregnant and about moms and their babies and blah blah blah. Yea, I wanted to just walk out. Did she let you see at least the pic of the follicle? What day in your cycle were you yesterday?

I don't think I told you guys about my visit to the obgyn(and if I did, I'm sorry, just ignore me). I haven't been since I was referred to my FS 3 years ago and so when the DOC came in, he was talking to me about what the FS found and all the treatments/meds/surgery we've done. He was really nice, but I kind of wanted to laugh at him when he said, "You know, sometimes it just takes some couples much longer to conceive than others. Ya know, I've heard plenty of stories where the couple had just decided to relax and low and behold, they get pregnant! So just try relaxing and the next time I see you, you'll be pregnant."
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Oh doc, you are SO right! I've wasted all this time and money on stupid medicine when all I needed was a bubble bath, candles and a big glass of wine. You sir, are a freaking genius!
Sorry, I know he was trying to be nice, but he KNOWS we've been trying for 4 years. Yes, it could happen naturally, I know that, but it isn't going to have anything to do w/how relaxed I am...

End Rant

 

[HWPG]

^^ ugh. i dont understand why drs and nurses sometimes say the most ignorant things during such highly emotional charged conversations. yeah, seriously, if relaxing was all that was needed to conceive, i think the ART field would be out of business.

 

[laustiredttc]

Rach, very well said!!!!!!!

I really don't understand these doctors, especially the ones that specialize in areas such as fertility, to be so blase. Really like you said if it were as easy as lying back and letting mother nature do her stuff, then we would all be popping out kids like left, right and center!!!

Ps i have a question for you ladies. I'm at a bit of a loss what to do. I have a really good friend who i have known for a while. She knew, quite extensively the troubles we have had trying to conceive. She was there for me quite a bit and i will never be able to thank her enough. Since i got my bfp she has become distant and whenever i broach the subject of the pregnancy she seems to go quiet. I was taken aback at first so stopped mentioning anything around her and just ask after her, how she is and what she has been up to thinking maybe she will eventually broach the subject in her own time. Nope, nothing, nada? I'm at a loss here girls, i don't think i have offended her in anyway but i'm confused as to what is happening? She really is a good friend and i always make the effort with her, alot of the time making the drive to see her as she doesn't drive? Any ideas as to what i should do?

 

[DAISYPRENCESS]

HWPG - good luck. I hope u will get your egg fertilised this month.xxx

 

[HWPG]

laus, this is how i see it - i cannot speak for how your friend feels:
when anyone i know gets a bfp, i'm very excited for them and wish the best, but i take a HUGE step back emotionally. it doesnt mean that i dont want things to go well, but it does mean i have to protect my heart and our friendship. jealousy, resentment, bitterness - these can easily creep into a relationship when people feel left behind or left out or forgotten. i dont think you are doing ANYTHING wrong, and i really wouldnt take it personally, but i would just accept that maybe she is having a hard time with it. and coming from someone who has a hard time with other's bfps, it's not a good feeling - i feel like crap that i cant be more excited or asking about it. if i were you, i'd just let her dictate how the conversations go, and make sure you have other people you can talk abbout the pregnancy with (like us, who are so excited for you!)
this is just my two cents - it's not a statement of how everyone feels.

 

[HWPG]

thanks daisy! yeah, i dunno, all my PMA goes out the window the day after i ovulate. in a freaky de ja vous way, this cycle was an exact replica of last cycle - bd on friday, pos opk late night saturday, bd saturday, off on sunday. i'm hoping my temp climbs a bit more.... sigh. i hate stupid ttc!

 

[CaliDreaming]

Laus, that must be very tough for you to have your friend distance herself from you like that, esp one that was there for you when you were going through tough times.

I think you're doing things exactly right. I would continue to avoid pregnancy related topics for now, because it seems that it's just too difficult for her to deal with. When she's able to deal with it, she will probably be the one to bring it up. As you progress in your pregnancy, I would expect that she might distance herself from you even more, because I know I personally find seeing the "bump" the most distressing.

I wouldn't shut her out completely, but I would try to give her important pregnancy news via email so she can process it in private, and also let her know that you know how difficult it must be for her and you understand if she needs to withdraw from you for a while. It's kind of a tricky situation to be in because you don't want to make her feel like you are purposely excluding her, but you also don't want to be seen like you're rubbing her face in it.

Please don't take it personal and it's not anything you did to make her feel that way. It's just that your pregnancy is an in-your-face reminder that she is not pregnant that she can't ignore. The fact that you also struggled may make it easier to deal with for some women, but for others it may make it worse because it could make her feel even more like she's being "left behind".

 

[HWPG]

i know that for me, the bump is WAY hard. like, fight tears-come off as a bitch-act indifferent around women hard. BUT i love the baby though! you might see a big change when your LO arrives.

 

[laustiredttc]

Thanks Mirolee, Cali

What you girls said does make alot of sense to me. She is in a position where she hates her job and is looking for another, in a house she hates but cant afford to move, is still looking for mr right and gets very depressed alot. It breaks my heart to see her so down sometimes and i would give anything to change it for her.
I have spent countless hours just talking to her and how we can solve some of her problems (all before AND after i got bfp). Guess I just felt a tiny bit let down but i know that being a good friend is supporting her still no matter what. I miss that real closeness we had but i know i need to let her come around in her own time. I don't take any of it personally as i know she doesn't have a single mean bone in her body, i just miss her as my friend and how things were

Mirolee, that's what happened to me. Both times i got my bfp my cycles where pretty much identical, could be a great sign for ya hun

 

[HWPG]

thanks laus. also in a freaky coincidence of last cycle, the weekend before i tested last month i spent time with a gf i dont see regularly, just sporadically. the same thing is happening this cycle. weeeeeird. not gonna lie, though, i'm pretty depressed because my temps have not gone up as i think they should. ugh. f-ing ttc. hate it.
also, laus, i totally understand what you mean by being let down by your friend. i know i always try to be excited and supportive and ask questions of my prego friends, but i usually end up in tears afterwards, privately. if all the things you said about her situation are true, i would really just take it as she cant find a place in her where she can be purely happy for you, becuase of her own emotional restrictions, and therefore has been distant - and it's not related to YOU. i would try to find a friend or mommy circle where you can all talk giddily about the amazing thing your body is doing - making a whole new person! i'm still so excited for you, and keep you in mind as my "miracle story".

 

[laustiredttc]

Ah bless, cheers Mirolee. Please don't get down about the temp though. I tested at 10dpo and got a very very stark bfn and where temps down. My temps didn't rise until and then only very slightly, rose at about 14 dpo. Tested 15dpo and that's when got bfp so your still in the running hun.

Plus i can honestly say that i didn't have ANY noticeable signs or symptoms that would suggest i was pg. I had faint blue lines on breasts and slightly tender but then that was the same before period.

I think with my friend i will just carry on as normal but avoid the subject unless she broaches it.

 

[CaliDreaming]

Thanks Mirolee, Cali

What you girls said does make alot of sense to me. She is in a position where she hates her job and is looking for another, in a house she hates but cant afford to move, is still looking for mr right and gets very depressed alot. It breaks my heart to see her so down sometimes and i would give anything to change it for her.
I have spent countless hours just talking to her and how we can solve some of her problems (all before AND after i got bfp). Guess I just felt a tiny bit let down but i know that being a good friend is supporting her still no matter what. I miss that real closeness we had but i know i need to let her come around in her own time. I don't take any of it personally as i know she doesn't have a single mean bone in her body, i just miss her as my friend and how things were

Mirolee, that's what happened to me. Both times i got my bfp my cycles where pretty much identical, could be a great sign for ya hun

Ohhhh, I misunderstood. So your friend is not TTC and just going through other stuff? I can see why you're so disappointed and surprised.

I guess it's just a matter of misery loving company. She wants a hubby and baby, and now that you are about to have a baby she can't deal with it. If she had been TTC along with you, I could understand her not being happy for your pregnancy, but in this case she just sounds really self centered. TBH, she sounds like a lousy friend.

 

[laustiredttc]

Hey Cali, gosh it does come across like that but she is (and i promise) a lovely friend i think you guys were right in what you said. i know its because she feels life around her is moving on and i know that me getting pg is part of that as well as her other stuff she has going on. i'll just give her some time to adjust and then hopefully things will get back on track. She is a great friend, things are just off course a bit lately

 

[Trina86]

Hi girls,
Laus I agree that your friend is probably just feeling left behind. Give her time and since she is a close friend she will come around
I've still been having my way short cycles. This time instead of the typical but oh so wrong 19 day cycles, this cycle was 18 days. I am currently sitting in the hospital waiting to have my HSG. Just keeping distracted. Keep me in your thoughts this morning! I'm nervous about how much it will hurt but also for what they might find. Ill keep you posted.
I hope you ladies have a great rest of the week!

Trina

 

[HWPG]

GL Trina! The HSG isnt that bad you got it!

 

[Trina86]

Thanks so much HWPG! I re read your post a few times right before going in. My tubes are both open! Hooray!
I am so dramatic as soon as I walked in the room i starting crying. But the girl that went before me walked out and had blood all down he back of her robe and I was like oh Jesus. Anyways they said it was just her period and not from them poking around. When they first put in the fluid it didn't fill up my uterus and I was so nervous, then the tech apologized to the doctor saying she didn't put enough fluid in the syringe. Then I had to go through the whole process again and the doctor said look at the screen and she said look your tubes are open! I'm so happy to have a little victory!!
Thanks for your support girls!

Trina

 

[DAISYPRENCESS]

Hi Trina,

I am really happy for u. I hope u have your big success soon. Xxx

 

[CaliDreaming]

Congrats Trina! Hopefully you will be one of those ladies that gets a BFP right after!