Need some encouragement

[Kittygirl]

I am not sure if this is in the totally right place-but i hope someone reads this and can just talk some sense into me...
I had a m/c in October about 5wks along after trying for years to get preggo-now I am on my 2nd cycle just started clomid (4th day) and my sister in law who just got off the pill last month is pregnant...
She just told me and I felt like crap instantly and its not that I am not happy for her~but its the whole deal, it hurts..
I cant stop crying and the clomid has made me emotional so far-but right now I am a wreck. I feel terrible for even feeling this!
I love my family, I just dont understand how not to feel upset-she just found out yesterday-about 5wks...which was when I miscarried...
I am feeling so upset and my husband (who is at work) will probably think I am crazy for being so emotional-but I know he will get a little upset too because of what was going to be...

any ideas on how to feel better? or anyone just want to chat and keep my mind occupied?

 

[Mrs.Wells]

I can relate to that. I went through a phase where I would get angry when I found out someone was pregnant. Not everyone though, just some women. For example, a client of mine who has two kids with several accusation of child abuse against her and she is pregnant ...AGAIN! As horrible as it is, it is normal to think "It's not fair! Why you?! Why not me?!" It eventually pass and you will feel more like yourself, but it takes time and it is impossible to walk away from something like this without some emotional side effects. But I would say (as a therapist myself) that you are going in the right direction by acknowledging what you are feeling as being legitimate, not silly, and telling someone!

 

[sarah55]

Hey Kittygirl - I can TOTALLY relate to what you are going through. It has been about 5 weeks since my ERPC, the LO one would have been about 7 weeks Anyway, I already had two friends who are pregnant, which was hard enough to deal with, but then my boss announced that she too was expecting - not only that but she is due on the same day I would have been. Talk about totally destroying me, I have to see this woman every day for work and it just seems so unfair! I can however, tell you that after time I have calmed down (after a lot of crying, sulking and general moping!!) and realised that I am going to constantly be surrounded by pregnant women and that I am going to have to accept that.
There is absolutely no right or wrong way to deal with this, I am just going to take each day as it comes - so if one day I see my boss and i want to cry, then I'll cry and if I am happy and feeling strong, well then thats just a blessing. Soon our day will come, although if you're like me, it cant come soon enough!
I am always here, like all the other fab ladies on here, so do talk as we all know what you are feeling......

Sxx

 

[LoveLost]

Oh hun, I totally understand I am the only one of all my friends that doesn't have living children. They all seem to just look at each other and get pg. I to suffered from infertility and it took us 2 years to get pg wit our first, who passed away 5 hours after he was born from complication from the forceps. I now have had 2 miscarriages since then, my only advice to remember that this is your journey! Don't compare yourself to anyone else, it just makes you end in heart ache. Remind yourself everyday that you WILL and CAN get pregnant, and that when the time is right you too will have a baby in your arms. But be gentle on yourself, it's ok to cry, my doctor once told me that I was grieving a loss of expectations and that made sense to me. Having said that sometimes it just feels good to scream and cry!

 

[cloud9]

i know exaxtly how you feel! its normal to feel this way after a loss. there are so many examples i could give to you when i have felt this way i could literally take up a whole page! please dont feel bad about feeling this way and it is still early days you will go through a whole range of emotions i never even thought were possible!
2 weeks after my 2nd mc 2 of my family members were expecting to give birth at the same time and i had all my other family members on facebook commenting congratualting them and saying how great it was to have another addition to the family etc etc .. of course i agreed and was happy for them but you would think that they would've known i could see this. so i just decided not to look until i felt i was ready to. it really hurts hun but it will get better

 

[Kittygirl]

Thanks for your advice girls!!!!! I feel alot better knowing that what I feel is normal... now that I have totally calmed down, I know what I was feeling was a little bit of jealously...its hard not to be!

It will happend for all us of! Thanks for putting this into perspective for me!!