Need some positivity

[crazydiamond]

After a period being really hormonal in the first trimester I was pleased at around 12 weeks to start to fell really happy and calm and positive about our new baby.

However over the last couple of weeks I have started to feel really down again and at the moment can only see the negatives. Although my OH is very good everyone else seems to be putting a real downer on everything including:

- My mother in law endlessly recounting her experiences of post natal depression
- My father in law talking about how he didn’t sleep for over 1 year after my OH was born and how it would serve us right if our baby took after his father
- Friends discussing how they regretted having children and how they are now struggling financially as a result.
- Other’s recounting their experiences of a traumatic birth, recovery time and impact on their body

This is my first baby and I am an only child with no experience at all of either babies or children. As a result I am finding it really hard to see what the positives are and would really appreciate it if people (especially those with existing children) could tell me what they are most looking forward to and what they feel the positives are.

 

[Hannaaisha]

I am feeling so positive and happy today!! Everyone will fill your head up with horror stories and what they recommend and my suggestion is to just take it all with a pinch of salt. My mum thinks your life is over once you have children. But different people feel differently about things. My life is defo not ending and I want a chav holiday to Costa del sol when the baby is 1! I heard this good saying, "While we try to teach our children all about life, Our children teach us what life is all about."~Angela Schwindt & its so true. In my opinion children make life worth living & for me its better to have lots of sleepless nights then not have a lovely baby. xx

 

[Lil_Apple]

Firstly, all this negativity thats not good. Sometimes when everyone around you is like this to remember that your lil family unit is the most important thing, selfish I know, but as long as bubs is all ok and you and DH agree on things on feel positive screw what everyone else says. My FIL has been going on and on the past few weeks how he never slept for 18 months when they had their 2nd child (this is our second) and how our marriage is going to be almost at breaking point etc and that made me feel so upset a couple of weeks back and made me cry. I had to tie down DH (we are both so busy with our DS and finding time for ourselves that its so hard to get time to talk properly where you both 'isten' im sure you know what I mean) anyway and I told him how I was feeling and he reassured me that we were going to be fine.

I cant believe as a parent someone would say they reggretted having children...thats really sad We are not as plush as we were but would never regret having DS as he is just beautiful. The joy DS brings is worth the odd barney with DH over cash and DH agrees..things are tight but he is our lil man and we absolutely love the bones of him and would not have it any other way

As regards to childbirth I built it up and built it and thought 'if its less than 24 hours labour I will be happy' and was seriously panicing in 3rd Tri. I dont know if i was one of the lucky ones but i honestly didnt think it was 'as bad' as I had thought it was going to be. I was in labour for 17 hours and most of that was just my TENS machine and gas and air...had some diamorphine near the end as it was getting more dragged out but as soon as DS was placed in my arms the love that fiilled my heart was worth every second of those 17 hours

I know it is not easy when people around you are so negative but the everything will be ok, honestly, you will get through things with DH and find strength and energy in places you never knew you had xxxxxx

Hope this is positive enough

 

[Lil_Apple]

I am feeling so positive and happy today!! Everyone will fill your head up with horror stories and what they recommend and my suggestion is to just take it all with a pinch of salt. My mum thinks your life is over once you have children. But different people feel differently about things. My life is defo not ending and I want a chav holiday to Costa del sol when the baby is 1! I heard this good saying, "While we try to teach our children all about life, Our children teach us what life is all about."~Angela Schwindt & its so true. In my opinion children make life worth living & for me its better to have lots of sleepless nights then not have a lovely baby. xx

I love this

 

[PresqueVu]

I'd say try not to talk to those people much, you don't need them bringing you down! And remember

- You will get to see what an amazing little person you've created
- Imagine the look of trust and love on their face as you feed them
- Watching them sleeping in your arms
- When they smile for the first time
- When they first laugh at you
- When they start trying to talk to you
- Taking your baby outside and feeling so proud of your new little family
- All the other milestones (but mine hasn't got there yet!)

Birth and PND and sleeping through is so individual that it doesn't relate to you at all. We all heal at different rates and we all cope with things differently as well. Don't let it affect you - you have so much to look forward to

 

[EmzyJA]

oh dear that is a lot of nagativity to be subjected to. this is my first baby but quite a few of my friends have babies, i'm always reading on the fb status's how proud they are of their little ones, or a funny or lovely thing they've done. it's heartwarming and i asure you none of them ever regret having children. they say it's the most amazing thing ever.

i have 4 younger brothers and sisters, and i've gotta say they're soooo amazing. i've loved watching them grow up and still do. the eldest is just hitting her teens and the youngest is 5 and they're all funny in their own ways. it's been great seeing them develop their own personalities and i cant wait to see this in my own baby x

 

[crazydiamond]

I'd say try not to talk to those people much, you don't need them bringing you down! And remember

- You will get to see what an amazing little person you've created
- Imagine the look of trust and love on their face as you feed them
- Watching them sleeping in your arms
- When they smile for the first time
- When they first laugh at you
- When they start trying to talk to you
- Taking your baby outside and feeling so proud of your new little family
- All the other milestones (but mine hasn't got there yet!)

Birth and PND and sleeping through is so individual that it doesn't relate to you at all. We all heal at different rates and we all cope with things differently as well. Don't let it affect you - you have so much to look forward to

Thank you that was just what I needed to hear. It is easy to get caught up in all the scary stuff. I think I probably will not really appreciate the positives until I experience it myself.

 

[hels08]

in a way theyre right, since i had my 1st my finances have taken a nosedive, im still constantly tired (and shes 6 now!lol), and she didnt sleep through the night until she was 2! i was in labour for 3 days before she was born, but you know what i managed to get through 3 days of labour on no pain relief just a bit of gas and air whilst i was delivering the head, yes im tired, yes i have way less money than i had before i had kids and yes it is bloody hard but its completely worth it, it must be or i wouldnt be pregnant again lol!!!! other people have their experiences but remember they are THEIR experiences , you will have your own experiences and will make your own memories so just focus on your beautiful baby xxxxxx

 

[Hannaaisha]

Aww PresqueVu I felt emotional reading that. how amazing is that, that we are making people the reality still hasn't sunk in for me yet. But I think that is the most special thing in the whole world.