need some potty training tips please

[lynne192]

my son is 3years and 2months old, with suspected AS and OCD but being treated as ASD atm.

he doesn't talk and his walking isn't brilliant, he is still in nappies, still dependent of bottle, doesn't eat... and his understanding and concentraion is very very poor, he is at nursery atm but only 2afternoons a week and just started last week...

anyways i want to potty train him, i have had the potty in the living room for a while i had it in the toilet but he used to really freak out with it there, so i thought if i got him used to it and got him sitting on it then it would help.

anyways i have been managing to get him to sit on it for ages but he just refuses to pee in the potty, he has a melt down when he needs to pee, or just doesn't understand that he needs the toilet, he has always had a problem pooing he can't do and when he does (after 5-7days) he's in agony he has been on all types of medicine for this and even been hospitalised but nothing helps i am hoping the potty and presure from sitting down might.... also my son hates being dirty when he sitting on the potty he feels as if its unclean and has to clean it and clean it and then wash his hands and sometimes sits on the potty with a bottle of hand gel ready.... this is something that can not be control he honestly can't deal with being dirty....


anyways would love tips and advice on potty training a child with AS and OCD?

 

[myasmumma]

im currently potty training my daughter too, its hard for the best of us, to begin with i just let her get used to it like you have and everytime she sat on it i would praise her, and i would leave her all day without a nappy if there was accidents id say oh dear never mind but the potty is where you go to the toilet and when shed wee she got loads of praise, i think the key is lots and lots of praise as kids soak that right up hell get there

ETA: i didnt realise this was the special needs support forum but i hope you get some advice or mine helped a little

 

[lynne192]

thanks wow your daughter is alot younger than my son, my son doesn't really understand priase but been trying to do that as much as possible when he gets on the potty we have a clapping party but he just refuses to actually do anything in the potty when he needs to pee he will either hold it in or have a melt down for a nappy :

 

[midori1999]

From what you have said in your post I would probably leave it a bit longer, tbh. There's really no rush.

Not quite the same, but my youngest son has Downs Syndrome and was 6 in March. We have just started toilet training today. He's definitely ready now. We did have a couple of attempts before, and although he'd use the toilwet or potty, he just didn't understand not to go to toilet in his pants and I felt it was putting too much pressure on him before now.

There are lots of children at his school with ASD who are 4+ who are still in nappies or only just out of them.

 

[lynne192]

our health visitor wants us to try asap, and i said the october week can then i can really work on it because he's off nursery, he's in main stream nursery and he is the only one not potty trained there are few kids with AD/HD and one who is disabled well can't walk but his else wise able. so i dunno i feel terrible that my son is a the smallest only one that doesn't talk. eat or pee.... so its kinda offputting to see all the kids way ahead of him if you understand... i am sure we will get there, the nursery said about applying for nhs nappies but i dunno if we can or not and how we go about it?

 

[myasmumma]

every child is different and one thing you have to have with potty training is patience (its was a real learning curve with me as i had next to none lol) and with a child with different needs its even harder for you, try not to feel bad he will get it when he feels ready plus noone should be pushing you to train him and in turn making you feel bad about it, i hope they ease up on you.

 

[lynne192]

thanks i am sure we will get him sorted hopefully lol

 

[MrsRabbit]

I would wait until he has some words or signs unless you think that'll be a long way off.

I made my verbal SPD\OCD boy sit until he went. I offered toys, books, games, songs but I made him sit until he went. The first couple days it took half an hour each time but he began to relax and it only took 10 minutes. 18 days in he said I have to go poop...it had clicked. Actually pooping on the potty took longer but he was trained within about 6 weeks and night trained not long after.

Since he's non verbal I would look into Elimination Communication. While he's not a baby it may help you judge his cues so maybe you can get to the point he'll go when you take him even if he won't voice having to go or go on his own.

Good Luck.

 

[midori1999]

our health visitor wants us to try asap, and i said the october week can then i can really work on it because he's off nursery, he's in main stream nursery and he is the only one not potty trained there are few kids with AD/HD and one who is disabled well can't walk but his else wise able. so i dunno i feel terrible that my son is a the smallest only one that doesn't talk. eat or pee.... so its kinda offputting to see all the kids way ahead of him if you understand... i am sure we will get there, the nursery said about applying for nhs nappies but i dunno if we can or not and how we go about it?

What reasons did the health visitor give for wanting you to try ASAP and just how much experience has she got with special needs kids? Do you see a specialist? I'd be far more prepared to listen to a specialist than a health visitor said, often they have limited special needs experience. That said, I think as a parent you know if your child is ready.

Does your son sign or communicate much at all if she doesn't speak? How is he going to ask to use the toilet if he doesn't?

I really wouldn't worry about what other kids are doing, I can guarantee your little boy doesn't care one bit. My son also went to mainstream nursery and at almost 3 was the only crawling child they had had there and was obviously still in nappies. I never even thought to consider whether the other kids were in nappies, my son certainly didn't care.

 

[lynne192]

yeah know what you mean i asked h/v today if we could apply for nhs nappies because he's three and she said yes not brought up potty trainning this time, i will keep at it though and means not a big deal when he's ready.

 

[angelstardust]

Your HV is the one to see about nappies or pull ups is probably what you will get. We get 3 packs a month, when he was in nappies daytime we had to buy extra but it was still a big help.

I would not toilet train him yet. No idea why your HV is so keen?

Is he happy in nappies? Does he have melt downs? If he's happy leave him.

DS2 was in a main stream nursery and we tried getting him toilet trained, after a week the nursery suggested putting him back in nappies, which I agreed too. The other children didn't notice him being taken away for a nappy change, but they did notice that he wet or soiled himself.

He also doesn't talk, I think I've spoken to you in another thread? Were you asking about nurseries? Anyway, he uses Makaton and is now in a special education needs unit at a main stream school in Primary 1. That is working out brilliantly for him.

I know how hard it is to see your child with other his age and for them to look just so... different. The child doesn't notice, but we do. It's so much harder on us mums than it is on them, at least at this age.

But it does get easier.

He came out of nappies just after his 5th birthday btw, a few accidents the first week and now he's fine. Still in them at night at his request because he wets the bed.

 

[lynne192]

HV got me nappies, i an entilted to 5 a day and get them monthly so will get about 150+ a month which is enough for me, she said nappies not pull ups so thats what we're likely getting. so we'll see first delivery of them is on 22nd...

nursery has been okay for him but he's only in play room because they said he wont stay in educational/learning room. he's not long started so we'll see what happens, doesn;t wouldn;t care if people said or knew things about him he doesn;t understand anything...

he is neither happy in nappies or out of them, he has melt downs without them and getting them changed it he just likes the safety of them...

i dunno just trying to get him to understand

i have made a timetable for him with stick picture cards so we can get him to understand and get involved so we'll see how that goes and maybe add 10 mins twice a day for potty time even if he's just sitting on it.

his eating was a worry but he's become obsessed with beans at the moment so hoping this will help him he's due to see dietrian this month so we'll hopefull have more help then

talked to nursery last week and they asked what i wanted and what they wanted in way of referals so we got

*speach therapy
*educational psychologist
*psychologist
*under 5's educational department

and see hv last week and she suggested a occupational therapist for his co-ordination?

 

[Lianne1986]

I have a little girl who will be 4 in december and is still in nappies day & night.

i have been trying to potty train her, nothing is working!

she has developmental issues, she goes to a mainstream nursery everyday for 2 and a half hours. she is almost the eldest in nursery yet the only one still in nappies. this really puts a lot of pressure on me. she does talk but its quite limited!

i have been trying to get her to just tell me if shes done a wee or poo in her nappy but she wont?!
2day i knew she had done a poo in her nappy and i said have u done a poo in ur nappy? and she just shrugged and sed no!

its as if she has no concept of wee'ing or poo'ing.

When Jamie-Leigh 1st came to live with us she was almost 2 and wudnt even eat off a spoon, she couldnt talk at all,

me and my dh have got a special guardianship order for her cuz her mum gave her up for adoption. Jamie-Leigh is actually my cousin.

i have spoke to my hv about the potty training and all i eva get is leave it 6 months, but ive only got 2 more 6 months before she goes to school.

im waiting on another appointment to see her dr at the hospital. i just dont know what to try next.

i have tried the whole praise thing but she just cries.

when she sits on the potty she holds her wee for ages...
if i put her in pants she just constantly wee's and poo's in them.

at 1st she didnt know what a potty was 4 and didnt understand what a wee or a poo was so we sta her on the potty until she 'accidently' done a wee
but she was sat on the potty literally all day! she didnt even try to get off!

sorry this is long i just dont know what else to try!

i hope u get ur little boy potty trained soon xxx

 

[Adanma]

It sounds like he just isn't quite ready. I'm seeing he is nonverbal. He still understands though when you are speaking correct? My son with Asperger's used to have a special corner he would go to when he needed to poop. I told him that at the beginning of the year the poop corner would be closed and he would have to wear underwear all day. He hates being dirty so the idea of poop in his undies really bothered him. On the day I specified, I closed teh poop corner and put him in undies. He has never had an accident.

Now he was already okay with doing pee on the potty so it's a bit different. He was 3 years and 1 month old when we got him poopy trained.

My neurotypical son was 2 when he got trained, but we just had to wait til he started to push and hurry up and stick him on the toilet until he got it!

I would suggest just waiting a while longer. Make sure to communicate your wishes to him each day and each time he goes in his diaper. Try again in a few months maybe. I hope this helps

Adanma

 

[lynne192]

thanks everyone to tips and advice got nappies from nhs and going to keep trying sure he will get there when he's ready x