Need support.. want to give up

[Justagirlxx]

My son is now 4 days old, I have been bfing him pretty much every hour or every 2 hours and he latches for a really long time for each feed. It's exhausting me and I have two other young children at home. I think for my sanity I need to switch to formula. I feel so guilty I am stuck on the couch nursing and unable to interact with my other children. Is there any end to this? How long do babies feed so often? I just want to cry

 

[leigh5tom]

Hi sweet xxx

I can totally relate to the guilt of not being able to play with your other little ones. Do you have anyone else at home to entertain them? My hubby was off for three weeks which was a huge help, as I was feeding round the clock and neglecting my daughter of attention for me that has been the hardest thing, and many many times I've wanted to swap to formula.

I found it got easier from about 6 weeks. The first weeks for me were hell with constant cluster feeding and very few naps (the baby not me).

I remember thinking it would never ever end, and that I would be stuck on the sofa for the next 6months. I really really can relate to what you are saying.

Now, 10 weeks in, things are a lot easier. We have the odd day of constant feeding but nothing like before. Hang in there, it gets easier, I'm so glad I did because the idea of preparing bottles every day really doesn't appeal to me now!

Good luck xxxxxxx

 

[Justagirlxx]

Thank you so much for your positive words! I'm glad someone else understands! The guilt really is the worst part for me right now, I miss being able to pay constant attention to the other two and they miss it too. Thankfully my husband is home to help and it's been great. I am going to stick with it because I really really want to breastfeed this one. I keep telling myself one day at a time and hopefully it will get easier. The cluster feeding is SO hard!! I'm like how long could this child possibly nurse? I think its getting a bit better now that my milk is in more though.

 

[noon_child]

Do you think he's really feeding for that long? I don't think comfort sucking should be discouraged necessarily (but it is getting you down) but maybe if you gave him a tickle or blew on him when his sucks slowed down he'd start feeding more deeply again?

 

[OrthoChick]

My son was born early and had a very hard time latching. I found pumping very liberating in those first 6 weeks. He still got breast milk, but I only had to be hooked up every 4 hours to a pump, allowing my DH to help out with feedings. Now that he is bigger (4 months), he loves breastfeeding we never experienced nipple confusion either, he takes both happily. Good luck!!

 

[mummytobe_93]

I completely sympathise but remember your little one is only four days old. You're doing a great job! I know you have other children but you really should take this opportunity to rest after just giving birth!
You could try a sling and breast feed with that on then you can interact with your other children without having to sit around breast feeding?
I wanted to give up so many times and now I'm at the five month mark and it honestly is so much easier that bottle feeding! Remember it means you don't have to get up in the middle of the night to make bottles and you don't have to sterilise

If you really feel like you want a few hours without having to feed you could wait a few weeks for breast feeding to get established and then give a bottle of formula or express and give it to baby? But then you will equally be sat down feeding baby!

I'm not sure if you fb previously so don't want to sound patronising but the feeds really do become fewer and far between and much quicker! My LO feeds every 2-4 hours and for literally five-ten mins and that's it now

You're doing brill don't give up just yet

 

[susywoosy]

I'm 3 and a bit weeks in and i still struggle particularly thru the night when he wont sleep for long. Wakes every 2 hours from start of last feed and a feed can go on for an hour sometimes. I feel for my DD and altho hubby is here and great at entertaining her, i know she misses her time with just me.

i'm holding on to the 6 week mark when i'm hoping to c an improvement and for things to get a bit easier. I keep wrestling with going to formula but like u the guilt kicks in and i feel awful for considering it. My boy is putting on weight and obviously feeding well but its so hard sometimes. I think it would help if he slept more but he cat naps at the breast so i have to keep adjusting so he'll finish a feed and then i put him down to sleep and the eyes spring open. Sometimes he can go 5-6 hours without a proper sleep which is crazy at 3 weeks old.

anyway, hand in there. I'm going to do the same and get first 6 weeks over and hope its better by then xx

 

[sheldonsmommy]

I found it was a lot better when my milk came in because he would go longer stretches without feeding, and would sleep with a full belly. He still fed frequently, but that stage of clusterfeeding was over. The first week is really tough even when things are going well. But all the suckling does have a purpose: to get your supply established.

My advice would be to try really hard to drop the guilt. Your other kids are just fine, and this is just a small time in their lives that they don't have your attention . Cartoons were my best friend when I was stuck on the couch.

Keep at it though, it will get easier with time

 

[HBGirl]

The first few weeks suck the big one! I felt exactly the same. I was in tears wanting to give up. 6 weeks in we are going great guns. Hang in there hun.

 

[Popples1]

I'm ten weeks in and combi feeding (low supply) and to be honest, even when LO is bottle feeding and it's not necessarily quicker than bf. Bottles are a pain to prepare and my LO can linger over one for an hour anyway. I don't think I'm getting any less sofa time than someone who is EBF because I'm essentially doing every feed twice! Hang in there, you're doing great

 

[hope1]

The first few weeks are the hardest but once your supply is established and your baby is a little older it will become so much easier. I felt the same guilt with my 3 year old son but I did what I could, we did lots of reading books, doing sticker books, watching tv. All things I could do 1 handed on the sofa while I feed! My baby fed hourly for ages but we got there! He's now 5 months feeds about 3 hourly during the day. Normality (sort of!!) has resumed and I can even now head out with my eldest for a couple of hours! Which is just lovely! Hang in there you are doing a wonderful job!