Need to vent/need advice feeling REALLY down

[Michy]

I always wanted to breast feed desperately, but after a pretty horrible induction, 26hrs of labour an emergency c section, poorly in hospital, totally flat/inverted nipples and no milk till day 10 because of aneamia alfie ended up being bottle fed.

When I eventually got home, I was gutted he was not having my milk, so decided to go down the expressing route. I hired a medela symphony and started expressing on day 6 and my collostrum came in on day 8, milk on day 10. After about 10 days of expressing 12 times a day I was meeting his needs totally and we didn't need to use formula any more.

Well 10 weeks later I'm still going, but my boy just seems starving.

He eats every 1.5 to 2.5 hours and takes between 4 to 5 oz each time. That is 10 to 12 bottles a day. He is taking a min of 40 oz a day and a max of 60 oz.

I am just finding it so so hard, I literally have no time time to leave the house. He drinks his bottle, is then winded and changed (all this takes about 45 mins) then he has about 30 mins of play time with me, then he normally naps for around 15 mins to 30 mins, during which time I express, make up the next bottle and then sterilise all the equipment ready to go next time. As I finish he starts to wake and the whole process starts again.

I just don't know what to do any more, I really want him to have my milk, but I am not sure I can physically keep this up.

I wish he would take more in a bottle and then go longer between feeds to give me chance to do things, but no matter what I try he wont take more than 150mls and he normally takes 130mls and so is then starving, chewing his fists and crying less than 2 hrs later.

He also has colic and is on colief from doctor, so can be pretty full on with his crying, last sunday he cried for 3 hours without stopping, which is a long time for him to go without food!!!!!!!!!

Up till he was around 6 weeks he used to go 4 to 5 hours through the night, but that stopped and now there is no distinction between day and night because he is just so hungry all the time. For example last night he had a bottle at 9, 11.30, 1.45, 4.15, 6.45.

Should I just accept this as an extended growth spurt?
Should I change to formula?

I really don't know what to do for the best

 

[booflebump]

Hello

First you should be very proud of yourself for expressing so well and giving bubba the best start.

Will your little one not take more oz per feed? It is quite normal for little boys especially to go through growth spurts and need more milk. I would stick at it for a little while longer, seeing if he will take more oz per feed and if he still is very hungry, perhaps consider swapping a breast bottle for a formula one to see if that helps?

 

[polo_princess]

Blimey Michy no wonder your struggling to keep up if he's taking up to 60oz a day!!

Perhaps you coud try topping up your EBM with a little formula to try and lengthen him out? Rather than just give him formula, mix a little in and take some of the strain off from yourself.

Dont give up hun if BF is really what you want to do, there are tons of other alternatives!!

I hope one of the BF mummies has some more advice for you hun

 

[Ema]

No advice just wanted to give you some You are doing so well. I never BF so i dont know what its like. But i really take my hat off to you as it sounds so hard XxxX

 

[marley2580]

I'm not sure if he's a bit old, but is there any way you can try and get him feeding from you at all? Have a look here for advice.

https://www.kellymom.com/bf/concerns/baby/back-to-breast.html

 

[Rachiebaby24]

i agree with polo.....or maybe just supplement some of his bottles for formula so you can get something done/time to yourself

 

[Michy]

I'm not sure if he's a bit old, but is there any way you can try and get him feeding from you at all? Have a look here for advice.

https://www.kellymom.com/bf/concerns/baby/back-to-breast.html

He just has no idea how to breast feed, I do offer him the breast daily, but he has never latched on successfully and gets very very cross after around 15 seconds or so. He is totally bottle dependent, of course I wish now that when I got out of hospital I stopped giving him bottles and only offered him the breast, but he enjoyed his food so much and got so frustrated at the boob that I just couldn't do it.

 

[Michy]

Blimey Michy no wonder your struggling to keep up if he's taking up to 60oz a day!!

Perhaps you coud try topping up your EBM with a little formula to try and lengthen him out? Rather than just give him formula, mix a little in and take some of the strain off from yourself.

Dont give up hun if BF is really what you want to do, there are tons of other alternatives!!

I hope one of the BF mummies has some more advice for you hun

Maybe I should try it, do you think then that 4oz of combined EBM and F would last him longer than 4oz of just EBM?

You see I could give him as 6 oz of EBM at a time as I produce enough, but he just wont ever take more than 5oz.

 

[Michy]

Hello

First you should be very proud of yourself for expressing so well and giving bubba the best start.

Will your little one not take more oz per feed? It is quite normal for little boys especially to go through growth spurts and need more milk. I would stick at it for a little while longer, seeing if he will take more oz per feed and if he still is very hungry, perhaps consider swapping a breast bottle for a formula one to see if that helps?

No he just wont take more milk in one go.

I might try a swap, thanks.

 

[polo_princess]

Im not sure if he will take any more but it might take a bit of the strain from you hun having to express so much a day

 

[Samantha675]

the length between feeds sounds pretty normal, whether he is having BM out of a bottle or straight from the breast. It only takes about 2 hours for BM to be digested, hence the reason a BF'd baby eats more often. I can't imagine how hard this must be love, I really applaud you in sticking with it for so long, well done!!! I would also suggest mixing in a little formula to see if that will help him go longer between feeds, and give you a bit of a break from pumping.

Have you tried getting him to latch on after you have started pumping? He is obviously used to the instant gratification with a bottle, and with the breast it takes a bit for the let down to happen. I am wondering if after you have let down, then try to get him to latch, maybe he will get the hang of it, and then you can work from there.

You can also talk to someone with the local chaper of the La Leche League to see if they have any hands on advice. Just google them, and you will be able to find a chapter in your area.

 

[Michy]

the length between feeds sounds pretty normal, whether he is having BM out of a bottle or straight from the breast. It only takes about 2 hours for BM to be digested, hence the reason a BF'd baby eats more often. I can't imagine how hard this must be love, I really applaud you in sticking with it for so long, well done!!! I would also suggest mixing in a little formula to see if that will help him go longer between feeds, and give you a bit of a break from pumping.

Have you tried getting him to latch on after you have started pumping? He is obviously used to the instant gratification with a bottle, and with the breast it takes a bit for the let down to happen. I am wondering if after you have let down, then try to get him to latch, maybe he will get the hang of it, and then you can work from there.

You can also talk to someone with the local chaper of the La Leche League to see if they have any hands on advice. Just google them, and you will be able to find a chapter in your area.

Thanks, but sadly I have tried, he wont even open his mouth for my nipple, he just doesn't realise it is food.

TBH I do think breast feeding is an option, I just don't know whether to drop the expressing and give F.

 

[ryder]

First off, you should be SOOOO proud of yourself for hanging in there for so long and expressing! That is amazing.

What you are doing is both more difficult then bfing or ffing! I think the suggestion of supplementing some formula for bm is a good idea. If you do decide to stop, remember that you have done an amazing job that alot of people wouldnt have been able to do. And your little alfie has gotten a great start.

I do have to say, my baby is completely happy, healthy and thriving well off Formula. She has always eaten about 3-4 hours... and by 2 months was sleeping through.

I applaud people who do bf... But I also enjoy the extra time I have for myself and for being with Jasmine and not constantly having to feed her.

 

[Samantha675]

the length between feeds sounds pretty normal, whether he is having BM out of a bottle or straight from the breast. It only takes about 2 hours for BM to be digested, hence the reason a BF'd baby eats more often. I can't imagine how hard this must be love, I really applaud you in sticking with it for so long, well done!!! I would also suggest mixing in a little formula to see if that will help him go longer between feeds, and give you a bit of a break from pumping.

Have you tried getting him to latch on after you have started pumping? He is obviously used to the instant gratification with a bottle, and with the breast it takes a bit for the let down to happen. I am wondering if after you have let down, then try to get him to latch, maybe he will get the hang of it, and then you can work from there.

You can also talk to someone with the local chaper of the La Leche League to see if they have any hands on advice. Just google them, and you will be able to find a chapter in your area.

Thanks, but sadly I have tried, he wont even open his mouth for my nipple, he just doesn't realise it is food.

TBH I do think breast feeding is an option, I just don't know whether to drop the expressing and give F.

I would call a lactation consultant, see if they can help you get him on the breast. It wouldn't hurt to try.

 

[ryder]

the length between feeds sounds pretty normal, whether he is having BM out of a bottle or straight from the breast. It only takes about 2 hours for BM to be digested, hence the reason a BF'd baby eats more often. I can't imagine how hard this must be love, I really applaud you in sticking with it for so long, well done!!! I would also suggest mixing in a little formula to see if that will help him go longer between feeds, and give you a bit of a break from pumping.

Have you tried getting him to latch on after you have started pumping? He is obviously used to the instant gratification with a bottle, and with the breast it takes a bit for the let down to happen. I am wondering if after you have let down, then try to get him to latch, maybe he will get the hang of it, and then you can work from there.

You can also talk to someone with the local chaper of the La Leche League to see if they have any hands on advice. Just google them, and you will be able to find a chapter in your area.

Thanks, but sadly I have tried, he wont even open his mouth for my nipple, he just doesn't realise it is food.

TBH I do think breast feeding is an option, I just don't know whether to drop the expressing and give F.

I would call a lactation consultant, see if they can help you get him on the breast. It wouldn't hurt to try.

Maybe she doesnt WANT to try ? The way I read "I just dont know whether to drop and expressing and ff" is that she is looking for support in her decision...

Maybe im reading it wrong and Michy could clarify.

 

[Freya]

Good god, you're a total star for expressing so religiously for this long. You sound like you need a break. I dont know anything about whether a baby can re-learn to feed from the breast, but I would seriously consider supplementing one maybe two formula feeds a day to give you a rest. You may not even need to do it everyday if you didn't want.... it will just gve you in therory a 6 hour window to sleep and not be hooked up to the 'milk machine'!!!

I couldn't express but was hooked up to the machine a lot in the early days to stimulate supply.... hated it, it was all I seemed to do. I think there comes a time when you need and want some of your life back.

Happy mummy, happy baby - seems to be a good moto around here!!!!!

(p.s. I got in touch with a bf counsellor in the early days to help wih my issues, it helped me... but be prepared for them to push, push, push the boob!!!!!! They dont like the F WORD)

 

[Michy]

the length between feeds sounds pretty normal, whether he is having BM out of a bottle or straight from the breast. It only takes about 2 hours for BM to be digested, hence the reason a BF'd baby eats more often. I can't imagine how hard this must be love, I really applaud you in sticking with it for so long, well done!!! I would also suggest mixing in a little formula to see if that will help him go longer between feeds, and give you a bit of a break from pumping.

Have you tried getting him to latch on after you have started pumping? He is obviously used to the instant gratification with a bottle, and with the breast it takes a bit for the let down to happen. I am wondering if after you have let down, then try to get him to latch, maybe he will get the hang of it, and then you can work from there.

You can also talk to someone with the local chaper of the La Leche League to see if they have any hands on advice. Just google them, and you will be able to find a chapter in your area.

Thanks, but sadly I have tried, he wont even open his mouth for my nipple, he just doesn't realise it is food.

TBH I do think breast feeding is an option, I just don't know whether to drop the expressing and give F.

I would call a lactation consultant, see if they can help you get him on the breast. It wouldn't hurt to try.

Maybe she doesnt WANT to try ? The way I read "I just dont know whether to drop and expressing and ff" is that she is looking for support in her decision...

Maybe im reading it wrong and Michy could clarify.

Sorry I was soooo tired last night, that was a typo, I meant I DON'T think breast feeding is an option.

I do/did want to breast feed, but I don't want to stress my baby out and believe me he gets REALLY stressed when I put him to the nipple. I just don't have the mental strength to go through that every feeding time on top of the expressing, I think it would kill me!!

 

[Michy]

Good god, you're a total star for expressing so religiously for this long. You sound like you need a break. I dont know anything about whether a baby can re-learn to feed from the breast, but I would seriously consider supplementing one maybe two formula feeds a day to give you a rest. You may not even need to do it everyday if you didn't want.... it will just gve you in therory a 6 hour window to sleep and not be hooked up to the 'milk machine'!!!

I couldn't express but was hooked up to the machine a lot in the early days to stimulate supply.... hated it, it was all I seemed to do. I think there comes a time when you need and want some of your life back.

Happy mummy, happy baby - seems to be a good moto around here!!!!!

(p.s. I got in touch with a bf counsellor in the early days to help wih my issues, it helped me... but be prepared for them to push, push, push the boob!!!!!! They dont like the F WORD)

Thanks so much, thing is I kind of have to make a decision because if I stop expressing as much as I am now then surely my milk supply will gradually reduce and the amount of formula I give will gradually increase and so therefore by cutting down on expressing I will effectively be making the decision to gradually move over to formula.

I am not saying there is anything wrong with formula ( I was FF) but I am just having a hard time accepting that he will no longer have my milk.

However I think the good I am trying to do by giving him my milk might be being outweighed by the fact that he is not getting out and about like he should be at this age, I want to go out and meet friends, take him to the park, take him to the supermarket, take him shopping, etc and at the moment I can't do any of it because I am chained to the machine!!

 

[Freya]

Michy, not sure if this helps or makes you more conflicted..... but I found that after 10 weeks of bf, my milk supply was 'established'. We pretty much always give Gracie a FF at night (for my break). But a few times I have fed her straight through and my milk has adapted to the extra feed. Your milk will adjust to whatever you want to do!!!!

SO... you could do half expressed and half formula if you wanted..... Or, have one EBM a day... or swap over completely and like you say, get out and about at last!!!!

Whatever decision you make will be the right one, it sounds like you've kinda made up your mind? It will be sad when your milk goes, I'm dreading it too, but you'll just be moving on to the next phase and it's a positive one for you and family.

Has the HV told you how to swap over? I asked mine in case I was in toruble with bf. She said to introduce formula slowly, bottle by bottle each day/every other day.

Good luck. You've done so well!!!

 

[leeanne]

Breastfeeding is hard work in itself, but what you are doing, no wonder you are feeling the way you do. Wow, kudos to you for doing what you are doing!

Truly honey, no matter which way you decide to feed your child, you will not have less of a bond and, honestly, a mother is no less a mother irregardless of which way you feed your child. Whatever makes you and baby happy is the main thing.