Need to vent/need advice feeling REALLY down

[ryder]

I agree with Leanne... Just do what you feel is best. You need to be happy, and your baby is going to be awake more now at his age and is going to need to be entertained more... And its super hard when you are tired.

Be happy, whatever choice you make will be the right one. If you want to bf then you will have support and good info from people on here. But if you think you are tired and just want to move on and relax, then that is the right thing too. Dont let anyone push you into a decision

 

[Blob]

Havent read all the posts so i could be repeating what someone else has said but, have you got a breastfeeding specialist you can call?? It took me about 3 weeks to get Tabs to feed from me, i have flat nipples also and she has a short toungue ( ) which made life really hard. I would agree with others about giving formula milk if you're struggling, though i have to say my LO never really went longer than 2hrs until she was 3 months and even now she wants food every 3-4 at least so i think thats normal for some babies. BF is hard and its really annoying that nobody explains to you just how hard it is going to be and how much support you need. If it was me i would be asking for a BF specialist to help me, its a new thing for your baby to learn, which does take along time for some

 

[Blob]

Oooops repeated myself Sorry i just read what you said, i think you've done amazing expressing like that must take serious time and effort. You've given your baby an amazing start I dont think you should feel guilty (please nobody take that the wrong way i have always said i think its the mothers choice) about FF even if you only do it for a few feeds a day to give yourself a rest if you still want LO gettin breastmilk.

 

[Whisper]

I think you have done an absolutely amazing job your lil man has had the best colustrum (sp?) parts of your milk and more besides.

It might sounds silly but maybe write out a list of the pros and cons for you and him for both types of feeding, it might help your decision to have it down in black and white.

Of course both options are possible for you, you just got to do what makes you both happy and content.

 

[Samantha675]

the length between feeds sounds pretty normal, whether he is having BM out of a bottle or straight from the breast. It only takes about 2 hours for BM to be digested, hence the reason a BF'd baby eats more often. I can't imagine how hard this must be love, I really applaud you in sticking with it for so long, well done!!! I would also suggest mixing in a little formula to see if that will help him go longer between feeds, and give you a bit of a break from pumping.

Have you tried getting him to latch on after you have started pumping? He is obviously used to the instant gratification with a bottle, and with the breast it takes a bit for the let down to happen. I am wondering if after you have let down, then try to get him to latch, maybe he will get the hang of it, and then you can work from there.

You can also talk to someone with the local chaper of the La Leche League to see if they have any hands on advice. Just google them, and you will be able to find a chapter in your area.

Thanks, but sadly I have tried, he wont even open his mouth for my nipple, he just doesn't realise it is food.

TBH I do think breast feeding is an option, I just don't know whether to drop the expressing and give F.

I would call a lactation consultant, see if they can help you get him on the breast. It wouldn't hurt to try.

Maybe she doesnt WANT to try ? The way I read "I just dont know whether to drop and expressing and ff" is that she is looking for support in her decision...

Maybe im reading it wrong and Michy could clarify.

I am sorry, but I thought I was giving advice and encouragement to someone who WANTED it. My mistake. If she doesn't want to work on switching over, what do I care. She has done an amazing job with expressing for as long as she has. If her son won't go to the breast, and she doesn't want to express then there is no other option but to switch to formula. Funny, I am not the only one to mention a councelor, even after Michy clarified her statement. But I guess I am just 'pushing' BFing.

 

[Michy]

Please, please, please can we NOT turn this thread into a debate/argument that is really not what I wanted.

I appreciate everyones kind responses

 

[Blob]

this kind of topic always sparks debates huh You should be so proud of what you've done though

 

[Michy]

the length between feeds sounds pretty normal, whether he is having BM out of a bottle or straight from the breast. It only takes about 2 hours for BM to be digested, hence the reason a BF'd baby eats more often. I can't imagine how hard this must be love, I really applaud you in sticking with it for so long, well done!!! I would also suggest mixing in a little formula to see if that will help him go longer between feeds, and give you a bit of a break from pumping.

Have you tried getting him to latch on after you have started pumping? He is obviously used to the instant gratification with a bottle, and with the breast it takes a bit for the let down to happen. I am wondering if after you have let down, then try to get him to latch, maybe he will get the hang of it, and then you can work from there.

You can also talk to someone with the local chaper of the La Leche League to see if they have any hands on advice. Just google them, and you will be able to find a chapter in your area.

Thanks, but sadly I have tried, he wont even open his mouth for my nipple, he just doesn't realise it is food.

TBH I do think breast feeding is an option, I just don't know whether to drop the expressing and give F.

I would call a lactation consultant, see if they can help you get him on the breast. It wouldn't hurt to try.

Maybe she doesnt WANT to try ? The way I read "I just dont know whether to drop and expressing and ff" is that she is looking for support in her decision...

Maybe im reading it wrong and Michy could clarify.

I am sorry, but I thought I was giving advice and encouragement to someone who WANTED it. My mistake. If she doesn't want to work on switching over, what do I care. She has done an amazing job with expressing for as long as she has. If her son won't go to the breast, and she doesn't want to express then there is no other option but to switch to formula. Funny, I am not the only one to mention a councelor, even after Michy clarified her statement. But I guess I am just 'pushing' BFing.

It is not that I don't WANT to express, I am just finding it hard expressing every 2 hours, which I have been doing because him having my milk is so important to me.

 

[alio]

First off, you should be SOOOO proud of yourself for hanging in there for so long and expressing! That is amazing.

What you are doing is both more difficult then bfing or ffing! I think the suggestion of supplementing some formula for bm is a good idea. If you do decide to stop, remember that you have done an amazing job that alot of people wouldnt have been able to do. And your little alfie has gotten a great start.

I do have to say, my baby is completely happy, healthy and thriving well off Formula. She has always eaten about 3-4 hours... and by 2 months was sleeping through.

I applaud people who do bf... But I also enjoy the extra time I have for myself and for being with Jasmine and not constantly having to feed her.

beautifully put. you're doing so well. i would say supplement a couple of feeds with formula. bless you love. i really feel for you. just remember, as long as you're feeding your boy, however, that's all that matters love.

 

[Michy]

Well I have decided I am going to take the pressure off myself a little and cut down on the expressing, I can't keep doing it 12 times a day and have a life!

I am currently 8 feeds ahead in the fridge and about 10 in the freezer, so I have a reasonable back up.

I am going to express when I can and I am hoping that after 10 weeks of expressing so frequently I will have established my supply and that the amount I produce wont suffer too much. If not tho I am not going to beat myself up about it and I'll just keep going till I run out!!!

In 3 weeks my OH has 2 weeks off, so if my supply decreases before then, then I will probably be able to increase my supply by pumping more, because I will have support.

I've got some aptamil in today incase I need it tho!

Thanks again for your replies

 

[alio]

you are doing a great job honey. xxx

 

[ryder]

I am sorry, but I thought I was giving advice and encouragement to someone who WANTED it. My mistake. If she doesn't want to work on switching over, what do I care. She has done an amazing job with expressing for as long as she has. If her son won't go to the breast, and she doesn't want to express then there is no other option but to switch to formula. Funny, I am not the only one to mention a councelor, even after Michy clarified her statement. But I guess I am just 'pushing' BFing.

Good grief... You seriously need to chill...

The reason I said what I said was because in several posts before that one, Michy said bfing was not an option.

Bfing may have come easy to you like you tell people constantly... But Michy has done such an AMAZING job so far. And a baby that is over 2 months would be very difficult to get to latch and feed... Im sure it can be done.. But given all the roadblocks and how EXHAUSTED Michy must be at the moment... It would be very stressfull.

Sometimes I think people need to think of the advice they are giving before they give it.

If Michy had made this post stating that she WANTED to attempt to solely bf, then ya I would also agree that she should call a consultant and get help... But I am quite sure that Michy has been through all that, in the beginning?

Either way she is doing a great job.

 

[Brockie]

oh hon you sound fed up and i dont blame you!!!

im still BFeeding Fred and he goes between 3-4 hours between each feed in the day, longer at night. he hasnt had Colic so dont have any experience on that and dont know wether that makes them want to feed more often?

just wondered if Alfie he isnt getting hungry enough before each feed? i mean i know hes probably crying, and i do feed on demand to a certain extent, but maybe if you let him get hungrier he will take a good 6oz and go longer? its hard for me to know how much Fred takes unless i express a bottle and he will take a good 7oz bottle at once.

you are doing a great job you sould be proud, what has your HV said? any advice?

xxxx

 

[Brockie]

beautifully put. you're doing so well. i would say supplement a couple of feeds with formula. bless you love. i really feel for you. just remember, as long as you're feeding your boy, however, that's all that matters love. [/QUOTE]

totally agree, however you feed him your feeding him!!! do what is best for you, there is alot of pressure on women to Bfeed and its not always the best option for everyone xxx a happy mummy means a happy baby, if feeding him Formula will make your life a happier easier one with time to yourself as well as baby then do it hon xx

the last thing you want is to start feeling low about the whole thing xxx

 

[Michy]

oh hon you sound fed up and i dont blame you!!!

im still BFeeding Fred and he goes between 3-4 hours between each feed in the day, longer at night. he hasnt had Colic so dont have any experience on that and dont know wether that makes them want to feed more often?

just wondered if Alfie he isnt getting hungry enough before each feed? i mean i know hes probably crying, and i do feed on demand to a certain extent, but maybe if you let him get hungrier he will take a good 6oz and go longer? its hard for me to know how much Fred takes unless i express a bottle and he will take a good 7oz bottle at once.

you are doing a great job you sould be proud, what has your HV said? any advice?

xxxx

I know what you mean about him not getting hungry enough, but honestly no matter what I do he just doesn't seem to be able to take more than 4 to 5 oz in one go and most of the time it is only 4oz.

It is strange because he could drink soooo much in one go when he was tiny. At an hour old he drank over 60mls which the MW couldn't believe!

By 4 weeks old he was up to over 100mls each time and then he used to go a good 34 hours between each feed, so he has upped his number of feeds rather than the quantity he takes.

One thing for sure is that the milk he is getting is good quality because in 6 weeks he went from 6lbs 12oz to 11lbs, so I know my milk is ok!

 

[Samantha675]

I am sorry, but I thought I was giving advice and encouragement to someone who WANTED it. My mistake. If she doesn't want to work on switching over, what do I care. She has done an amazing job with expressing for as long as she has. If her son won't go to the breast, and she doesn't want to express then there is no other option but to switch to formula. Funny, I am not the only one to mention a councelor, even after Michy clarified her statement. But I guess I am just 'pushing' BFing.

Good grief... You seriously need to chill...

The reason I said what I said was because in several posts before that one, Michy said bfing was not an option.

Bfing may have come easy to you like you tell people constantly... But Michy has done such an AMAZING job so far. And a baby that is over 2 months would be very difficult to get to latch and feed... Im sure it can be done.. But given all the roadblocks and how EXHAUSTED Michy must be at the moment... It would be very stressfull.

Sometimes I think people need to think of the advice they are giving before they give it.

If Michy had made this post stating that she WANTED to attempt to solely bf, then ya I would also agree that she should call a consultant and get help... But I am quite sure that Michy has been through all that, in the beginning?

Either way she is doing a great job.

That is funny. Maybe go back to the 'less of a mother' thread and take your own advice. It seems to me that every chance you get, you go on and on about how BF'ing mothers make you feel bad for your choice to bottle feed. You do get pretty ranty about it. But back to the point of this thread.

There is nothing in this thread to indicate that Michy has contacted an LC which is why I suggested it. Not all babies figure out how to BF straight away and LC's often have useful advice about how to make it happen. I know because I had a midwife and LC at my birth. It is clear that Michy does want her baby to have her own milk if possible and if expressing is taking that much out of her then this is the other thing to try.

In every single post I stated how wonderful and amazing Michy is for what she has been doing. I don't think I could have stuck with pumping for one week let alone ten. If I had thought she had been to a LC, then I would not have suggested it, as others did as well.

 

[kellyharrison]

Hello Michy - my LO is 3 months and I made the decision to supplement with Formula 2 weeks ago because of the same situation. She wont go longer than 3 hours at a push between feeds and its no different at night and I am exhausted. So for me it goes b/feed from the boob and then 3 oz bottle of aptamil which she usually finished but sometimes not (im presuming if shes got what she needs from the boob).

(Before I supplemented she would only go 2 hours - and after 2 half months of it I had to do something)

She still doesnt go longer than 3 hours sometimes only 2 hours even if I force feed her more aptamil - but i think this is as good as it gets. Please dont be afraid to miss a few feeds - I have missed some and given her just a bottle of aptamil and my supply is fine. I would suggest though - dont miss any night feeds - these are the most important for your supply (typical)

I am very pro breastfeeding and i've done the best i can to maintain her diet with it but we should take advantage of the cushion of formula if we need it and get that baby out and show him off to the world! Lets hope the formula helps him go longer if you decide to use it. So to sum up my advice - try mixing it up a little and see how you go.

Another thing I was thinking is that if normal formula doesn't do the trick you could try supplementing with hungry baby formula (aptamil purple one) and see if this helps - im gonna try it next week.

Hope this helps?? gud luck chick

 

[ryder]

Im not even going to bother replying to your posts, Samantha.

 

[Michy]

Hello Michy - my LO is 3 months and I made the decision to supplement with Formula 2 weeks ago because of the same situation. She wont go longer than 3 hours at a push between feeds and its no different at night and I am exhausted. So for me it goes b/feed from the boob and then 3 oz bottle of aptamil which she usually finished but sometimes not (im presuming if shes got what she needs from the boob).

(Before I supplemented she would only go 2 hours - and after 2 half months of it I had to do something)

She still doesnt go longer than 3 hours sometimes only 2 hours even if I force feed her more aptamil - but i think this is as good as it gets. Please dont be afraid to miss a few feeds - I have missed some and given her just a bottle of aptamil and my supply is fine. I would suggest though - dont miss any night feeds - these are the most important for your supply (typical)

I am very pro breastfeeding and i've done the best i can to maintain her diet with it but we should take advantage of the cushion of formula if we need it and get that baby out and show him off to the world! Lets hope the formula helps him go longer if you decide to use it. So to sum up my advice - try mixing it up a little and see how you go.

Another thing I was thinking is that if normal formula doesn't do the trick you could try supplementing with hungry baby formula (aptamil purple one) and see if this helps - im gonna try it next week.

Hope this helps?? gud luck chick

Thanks so much hun, glad to know I am not alone!

Up to him being 6 weeks he always went at least 5 hours through the night, but since then he has been waking eery 2 hours. I can't take much more!!!

I am beginning to think that I am giving in to his moaning too easily, so last night when he woke at 1.20am (after 4oz at 11am) I didn't feed him I just comforted him and kept putting his dummy in. He was unsettled till 2am, but then fell asleep till 4am. So then I thought he would take more milk, but no, he still only took 4oz and clamped his mouth shut!

I find it sooo frustrating that he still takes the same amount in a bottle that he did at 4 weeks!

I don't think it is all about the breast milk either, my best friend little girl goes from 10pm till 8am every night and has done since she was 2 months old.

Maybe our bubbas just have tiny stomachs?

 

[helen1234]

Hiya i think you've done an amazing job, but as your looking for answers and suggestions i agree with others taking the pressure off yourself is a good idea too,
i expressed solely for 4 weeks after Rhys was born he couldnt latch on for more than 15 secs i had emergency c, i was very anaemic too had 2 blood transfusions, he was tongue tie and short chinned so as a alternative lactation consultant also my mw (who is best in the west midlands btw) suggested expressing, i was so upset he wouldnt bf and made myself believe ff'ing was so bad for him. eventually though after 3 hourly expressing and feeding he caught up with my supply and it wasnt sustaining him for long. he was getting more of the watery stuff and less of the actual milk so was really just quenching his thirst according to mw. i gradually over two weeks mixed alternate breast milk one feed formula the next only expressing when i was getting engorged and the last 2 weeks he's been on just formula.
so i wasnt just weaning him off my milk i was weaning me tooand doing it over a few weeks made it so i could still give him breast milk .

keep going for as long as you feel happy doing so but if he's crying or not being fullfilled it will affect you too and happy baby is happy mum.
i feel totally at ease now he's ff i feel like a weight has gone from my shoulders and can more time playing with him than sat on a dam machine
xx