Needing Support *tears*

[bakerh518]

Hello Ladies!

My name is Heather, i am 37 weeks 1 day with my very first little man after 5 years of ttc!

On February 6th we found out our baby was breech (after being head down for quite some time )

Today, we attempted a ECV (a marginal attempt if you ask me) that was unsuccessful.

The doctor (we have been seeing a midwife) said we need to schedule a c-section for 39 weeks (although no one called me today to schedule it, and id rather go later so thats fine with me)

Im having a really hard time accepting that we will most likely be delivering our baby via c-section, after 5 years of ttc this is so not what i was envisioning, wanted immediate skin to skin, breast crawl, and uninterrupted bonding time immediately following the birth... I am praying and praying and doing everything from spinningbabies.com, in hopes he will turn before my appointment on Friday with my midwife.

Anyway, i know there are lots of ladies that have experience with c-sections here, so just looking for some support.

 

[supertabby]

I understand how you feel - I had planned a water birth for my first and ended up with an emergency section under general. People will tell you it doesn't matter how your baby arrives so long as it's safe - and they're right of course but it doesn't mean you can't feel sad about not getting the birth you wanted.

While at first I felt a big loss at not having my perfect birth I no longer care - because I have my perfect baby. The bond I have with my daughter is no less because of how she was born, at first bonding was hard but many mums feel this even with a vaginal birth, but now she's this amazing little person who I couldn't love more and couldn't be closer to. Our birth experience hasn't taken anything away from our relationship in the long term.

Four weeks ago I had my second baby by elective section (I'm high risk so will never get a non- intervention birth now), I wrote a thread in this forum the other day titled My Section Experience. It might be worth a read so you know what to expect from a planned section.

There are lots of ways you can bond with your baby even when you don't have a vaginal birth. You can still have skin to skin although it is delayed until recovery (that said your oh can help to hold baby close to you in theatre so you get a skin to skin of sorts but without breastfeeding). Once your baby is born you won't care about being stitched up or who is in the room, it'll all be about you, your oh and your baby. Breastfeeding shouldn't be affected as your section is a full term and you'll be awake (babies born under general are sometimes slow to bf though mine was fine).

My friend had a section with her first due to baby being breech, she's now pregnant with her second and is planning a VBAC which doctors think she has a good chance of success with.

 

[Babydance]

If its a planned section you ask for immediate skin to skin! Nothing stopping that happening! The screen is lowered and baby is put onto your chest like a natural delivery! I had my first naturally and it was not a good experience i ended up in theatre afterwards .. anyway with my second i had a planned section and it was such a calm lovely experience! If you do need a section you call the shots! You say what you want and how you want it! What music you want on, where babys placed etc. Hope everything goes your way! Good luck! All the best with your much awaited baby!! xxx

 

[Joeyzgirl]

Honestly I was so disappointed and scared the first time. When all is said and done you don't really think about how they were born you are just happy they are here with you and you can see them. I know that's hard to imagine and picture but it's the truth. I wanted VBAC with my second one so bad but my body and her were stubborn so we did a 2nd section and honestly once it was all done recovery was the only difference. They are still there in your arms and the joy of having them outshines any feelings of disappointment in the way you had to have them. It'll be great. Before you know it your baby will be right there in your arms.

 

[capegirl7]

I had an emcs with my first and was so upset . Well three weeks ago I just had an amazing vbac. I got to experience both. Both times I had very successful breastfeeding relationships. My section did not hinder that at all. Although I did get skin to skin immediately after vbac and not with the section., once my first dd was brought in the room after section we had so much skin to skin and bonded just as much. Recovery really wasn't that bad. At the time it was whatever was safest for the baby

 

[bakerh518]

Thank you so much for your responses ladies, it means a lot to me. I am not giving up hope yet that he will turn. I am seeing an acupuncturist and chiropractor today, and have been doing lots of spinningbabies.com.

In the need I'm praying to accept what happens knowing my little boy will be here safe and sound.

You folks from other countries seem to have a lot more control than we get in the states... Here it's all about lawsuits which is what makes me insane... It has nothing to do with what's best for the baby, only what's best for the doctors malpractice suits

 

[zorak]

Thank you so much for your responses ladies, it means a lot to me. I am not giving up hope yet that he will turn. I am seeing an acupuncturist and chiropractor today, and have been doing lots of spinningbabies.com.

In the need I'm praying to accept what happens knowing my little boy will be here safe and sound.

You folks from other countries seem to have a lot more control than we get in the states... Here it's all about lawsuits which is what makes me insane... It has nothing to do with what's best for the baby, only what's best for the doctors malpractice suits

I am in the States and have never felt I had a lack of control. At the end of the day it is your body and baby so you call the shots. If you are not comfortable with a 39 week delivery be clear and push for 40 weeks. Any decent OB should listen to your opinion (and explain theirs so you are informed) and take that on board.

I was very clear I did not want any kind of intervention prior to 40 weeks and wanted to wait until 40 +7 before even starting to think about induction. My OB was fine with this with the caveat I had to have monitoring ultrasounds (makes sense so fine by me). As it happened I went into labour naturally at 40+3 and to cut a long story short had to have an unplanned C-section. Throughout the whole birth experience the hospital were fab and totally respected my wishes (didn't have an epidural until after I'd been pushing for 2 hours - by then even I could tell something was wrong).

So basically all I am trying to say is stand firm. If you don't feel you can make your OH or a bossy friend do it at your apts for you.

Please also don't worry about the C-section thing, I thought I'd be upset but I am honestly not; I was just so elated to meet LO after 3 hard years of TTC.

Good luck!

 

[bakerh518]

Im glad to hear you felt like you were heard at your US ob! (are you on the west or east side of the country?) We have been working primarily with midwives until the breech issue, then we were passed off to an ob weve never met that apparently calls ALL the shots, but ive used this week to really rev up and know that IM THE BOSS, im calling the shots and i will have what i want in the end! (c section at 40 weeks or natural birth when he is ready)

 

[babybaker2011]

Thank you so much for your responses ladies, it means a lot to me. I am not giving up hope yet that he will turn. I am seeing an acupuncturist and chiropractor today, and have been doing lots of spinningbabies.com.

In the need I'm praying to accept what happens knowing my little boy will be here safe and sound.

You folks from other countries seem to have a lot more control than we get in the states... Here it's all about lawsuits which is what makes me insane... It has nothing to do with what's best for the baby, only what's best for the doctors malpractice suits

I am in the States and have never felt I had a lack of control. At the end of the day it is your body and baby so you call the shots. If you are not comfortable with a 39 week delivery be clear and push for 40 weeks. Any decent OB should listen to your opinion (and explain theirs so you are informed) and take that on board.

I was very clear I did not want any kind of intervention prior to 40 weeks and wanted to wait until 40 +7 before even starting to think about induction. My OB was fine with this with the caveat I had to have monitoring ultrasounds (makes sense so fine by me). As it happened I went into labour naturally at 40+3 and to cut a long story short had to have an unplanned C-section. Throughout the whole birth experience the hospital were fab and totally respected my wishes (didn't have an epidural until after I'd been pushing for 2 hours - by then even I could tell something was wrong).

So basically all I am trying to say is stand firm. If you don't feel you can make your OH or a bossy friend do it at your apts for you.

Please also don't worry about the C-section thing, I thought I'd be upset but I am honestly not; I was just so elated to meet LO after 3 hard years of TTC.

Good luck!

I completely agree with that statement as well. I let my OB know from day 1 that I was wanting my baby to come on her own or wait until I was overdue. I originally wanted to wait until 40 + 6 to have her, but I was just miserable, so I decided to have my elective C-section at 40 + 2. I never felt pressured once to have my baby earlier.

It's your baby and your body - as long as there is no medical issue, then you have every right to have your demands heard and followed. Stick to your guns, girly!! Are you able to switch to another OB?

 

[bakerh518]

im not sure at the moment, weve only had two interactions with her for the ECV, so

She didnt give us a choice at all about when the c-section would be and also stated that if i came in for the c-section and peanut had turned head down, i would be induced STATED not talked about with us. But apparently between tuesday and today ive grown some balls and im ready to fight now!

 

[babybaker2011]

WHAT?!?!?! She stated that you would be induced if baby turned...HA!! Girlfriend, if you have to, go above her head - Hospital Administrator. She has no right to call shots like that. Good luck to you! You'll have to update...so wanting to know how this all goes down.

 

[bakerh518]

I definitely will update! For sure!!

Yes! My husband and i, later, were so confused as to why I would need to be induced just b/c he had turned! Made NO sense!

All the responses ive gotten (between here and my pregnancy journal) has given me strength and courage to fight for what is best for the baby not what is easiest for the hospital, or the doctor!

The more i talked or think about what she "stated" the more im like WTH, how did i not see that she was totally railroading me? But typically im a soft spoken person, very careful not to offend, and such. BUT i can be respectful, AND stand my ground, so thats what will happen!

 

[lilmor07]

Im so glad to have came on and read this post from you, I'm feeling exactly the same, albeit not as far on as you but have been advised that my baby is breech is unlikely to turn as she is a "big baby". I am so upset about it as I really wanted a natural birth or at least to experience some of the natural birthing process. I know exactly where you are coming from and the advice on here is second to none for putting us at ease, thanks girls xx

 

[Kalabear]

I felt the exact same as you! We found out on his due date that he was breech and a large baby. This paired with the fact that he was the first our dr recommended c/s. I've come to really trust him as he is also our family dr so we did the c/s. He knew how excited I was for doing things as natural as possible so I was disappointed and heartbroken. But the hospital we gave birth at is very baby friendly and I was so happy about that. Both my husband and I got skin -to -skin while I was getting stitched up and I started breastfeeding within a half an hour. Turns out he was "stuck" in my ribs ...not sure what that meant haha.

While I was disappointed with having a c/s...now that it has happened I couldn't be happier with his birth because it was HIS birth ya know? It was so beautiful and special!

Fight for skin to skin as soon as possible! I was glad to have nurses and dr who supported me on this!

GL on the birth of your baby!!

 

[JessPape]

A lot of doctors are allowing skin to skin and even breastfeeding in the OR, but you need to request this ahead of time.

Don't feel bad, your still birthing your baby and your still doing the best thing for you and your baby. You never know baby can still turn its never to late until your

 

[bakerh518]

Im so glad to have came on and read this post from you, I'm feeling exactly the same, albeit not as far on as you but have been advised that my baby is breech is unlikely to turn as she is a "big baby". I am so upset about it as I really wanted a natural birth or at least to experience some of the natural birthing process. I know exactly where you are coming from and the advice on here is second to none for putting us at ease, thanks girls xx

My best advice since you are less pregnant is check out spinningbabies.com and see a chiropractor ASAP! the more you cand o early the better chance you have in turning your baby! You still have a very good chance that your lo will turn!

Also plan out what you do and dont want now, and make it known from the beginning, if you arent comfortable with a c-section before your due date, dont let them push you around, unless there is something wrong with the baby there is NO reason for an early c-section.




Today we met with our midwife and expressed our concerns about the pushy doctor, she was SO annoyed about the "39 week csection" and said "well its too bad if its going to be an inconvenience, this is obstetrics, it can be inconvenient" Then we asked about a second go on the ECV which she was in favor for And we are doing that tomorrow! We didnt even bother bringing up the c-section if he turns, induction thing, b/c obviously we arent going to allow that... thats just ridiculous

But i still feel confident that even if we do end up with a c-section it wont be as bad as i initially anticipated, thanks in most part to you ladies Thank you all for your insights and encouraging me to PUSH back!

We talked with our midwife about skin to skin after a potential c-section and she said really it comes down to making sure you are firm, and that the nurse knows what you want.

All in all, i think its gonna be a push, but its gonna be what we want it to be!

 

[Mrs Doddy]

My baby was breach and ecv didn't work I was booked in for a section 2 days before my due date and ended up going into labour 2 weeks prior

I got skin to skin as soon as they had checked him over and he never left me x

 

[waiting4damon]

Please read this blog article: It tells the actual experience of a compassionate cesearaen birth!
https://birthwithoutfearblog.com/20...e-cesarean-birth-photographers-point-of-view/

I was really upset after my first c section; because I did not get to hold my daughter until 45 minutes post delivery even though her Apgars were 9 at 1 minute and 9 at 5 minutes with no complications on my part.

I have already spoken to the NICU baby nurse that will be attending my section; she will be placing the baby on my chest for bonding time within the first five minutes post birth-the baby's 1 minute Apgar will be done as well as a set of vital signs, but then she will be mine to be near. The baby nurse, if compassionate enough, is allowed to keep you and the baby together in the OR until you are done being stitched up. C sections do not have to be awful things; but you must make your wishes known and have your partner enforce them in the OR.

 

[bakerh518]

Figured i would update this thread, as i hate when i am searching for info and come across abandoned threads!

Our beautiful Samuel was born March 16th via C-section but only after his momma got to go into labor naturally first! The birth story is at my pregnancy & parenting journal (in siggy)

Although i still needed a c-section because we delayed the scheduled c-section i still got to go into labor naturally (which in my opinion allowed me to heal much quicker afterwards) I labored for nearly 6 hours before my c-section (and was 5 cm dilated at 4 hours labor) I prayed the whole time that our little Peanut would turn but in the end he did not!

I was not allowed to have skin to skin immediately following the c-section, although my husband held him close to my face. But as soon as i stitched up they brought him to me to attempt breastfeeding and have skin to skin in the room.

All in all, i do wish i was in an area where a breech vaginal birth was not as big deal as it is here, but things went smoothly and in the end, b/c i was able to go into labor naturally and knew it was his time to come, i was less disappointed with the birth experience!

A healthy baby is all that matters, but when your mind wanders you wish for this or that. Don't let any one tell you your feelings aren't valid about wishing your birth could be/could have been different, stick to your guns and do what you feel is the best decision!

 

[mysteriouseye]

Im glad to hear everything went well with your C-section, your story is a repeat of mine with my first who was breech, I am now pregnant with my 2nd and a VBAC hopeful, I also labored naturally before my C-section and the consultant has said because of this it has given me a high chance of having a natural birth this time around xx