Neighbour Rant...WWYD? **UPDATE**

[linsayp]

Im gonna get shot for this, i do think your last update she is in the wrong as its so late but i remember before i had caleb and i used to hear our next door neighbours new born crying at all hours. I wouldn't complain about that so why should a single person have to change their lifestyle to suit your new life? You should be considerate to your neighbours and if they take the mickey then by all means take it further but i dont think you can say much if its at a reasonable hour. You say you have 2 bedrooms can you not move the baby into the other room during the day to sleep? Not having a go just putting another point to it. My friend has a similar problem that her neighbour has complained about her 2 children being noisey during the day which im totally in arms about as you can't silence them. But just wanted to say you should speak to her but remember her priorities are different from yours. Good luck x

Banging around, shouting & playing music loud can be helped & it isn't hard (or really an inconvenience) to tone it down a bit. having a baby that cries can't be helped. You can't compare being a noisy neighbour (by just generally being loud & inconsiderate) to having a newborn! If a baby is crying & getting on your nerves, deal with it! It isn't the parent's choice for their baby to cry, but it is a choice to be noisy. Turning the music down a bit is hardly a lifestyle change to be fair. If you live in a detached house where you aren't bothering anyone then do what you like, but if you're going to share a building then a bit of consideration for others (especially babies) wouldn't go amiss. I would never dream of getting on my high horse if someone asked me to keep it down so their baby could sleep, in fact I would be mortified that they felt the need to! Not having a go but I've been in a similar situation & I know how awful & frustrating it can be!!

 

[xolily]

i would confront her but i wouldn't expect TOO much iykwim? obviously if she's playing loud music late at night that's not on, but can u expect her not to do it at all incase LO is sleeping..? i don't mean to sound harsh but when i put my tunes on i love to have them blasting out, no point in quiet music in my opinion lol xx

 

[kermie219]

I think she is talking about in the middle of the night! I don't think expecting your joint neighbour to be quiet in the middle of the night is too much to ask whether children are involved or not! It's just plain rude! I don't even hoover after 9pm because I would want the same respect! AND she was smoking on their porch in front of their front door after 10! I couldn't be doing! Did you talk to her yet?

 

[DottyLottie]

Okay I am gonna be the devils advocate here. I used to be single and enjoyed playing my music while cleaning or having a few friends over. I believe that all you can do is ask politely and hope she is simpathetic. Other wise you might have to come up with something else. She doesn't appear to be breaking any laws. If it continues maybe you need to look for another place to live.
My DH likes to listen to his music fairly loud on a weekend and Stella sleeps through it.

I am inclined to agree with this, babie's can sleep through a whole world of noise, anyone with more than one child will tell you this

 

[linsayp]

Okay I am gonna be the devils advocate here. I used to be single and enjoyed playing my music while cleaning or having a few friends over. I believe that all you can do is ask politely and hope she is simpathetic. Other wise you might have to come up with something else. She doesn't appear to be breaking any laws. If it continues maybe you need to look for another place to live.
My DH likes to listen to his music fairly loud on a weekend and Stella sleeps through it.

I am inclined to agree with this, babie's can sleep through a whole world of noise, anyone with more than one child will tell you this

no two babies are the same & just because some children sleep through noise doesn't mean that they all do! Liam can be fast asleep & will be woken just by somebody going up the stairs. I think if the original poster's baby slept through all this noise then she wouldn't have posted with the problem in the first place..

 

[Petite]

A baby crying is a bit different - that can't be helped..

We also have a noisy neighbour, she plays her guitar and sings at all hours and her room is joined onto Abbey's. My hubby text her brother (as they're mates) and he had a word with her. She sent my hubby and I a text to apologise for the noise and to come around and kick her ass if she made any more noise. Thankfully it's a lot quieter now

 

[Jolinar]

You need to say something, sitting and stewing about it won't do you any good at all. Baby aside everyone is entitled to peace and quiet between the hours of 11 pm and 7 am and to not feel like their home is being invaded by someone elses noise no matter who they are.

Our walls are paper thin and the only way to solve the problem is to communicate directly, we've come to arrangements about noise levels and times with our neighbours. We're very quiet, they're not. Once they became aware of how sound travels they were only too happy to compromise.

Good luck

 

[Abigailly]

Honestly, I think during the day there's not much you can do. We all play music and sing and bang etc and you can't spend your day thinking 'baby next door might be sleeping'. If you can hear her banging then it probably means the walls are too thin, that's not her fault. She has to be able to do (within reason) as she pleases in her own home. And if this means having music on then you'll maybe have to reconsider your routine . However at night isn't acceptable at all! Also, your second post is completely unacceptable too, fair enough everyone should be allowed the odd party but A) she shouldn't have been on your land and B) I'm sure if she'd come round, explained that she was having a party and there may be more noise than usual and that she promises to try keep it down but apologises in advance etc you'd make exceptions for the night. I'd have a word about the stuff at night. Sorry for the big paragraph, enter button doesn't work LOL

 

[lisac25]

My husband and I returned home about 10pm from his sister's tonight (much later than usual) and we discovered the neighbour's roommate (the one making the noise) on our patio smoking.

She saw us come in the gate (we enter our property via the rear garden) and she immediately apologised for being on our patio. We could tell she was drunk and she had some company over. She said she would keep the noise down.

Shortly after putting our son down, about half-past, I hear her come out the back conservatory again and shout.

Next thing we know, we hear more people arrive and as I type (at 11:36PM) there are loads of people over. The music is loud enough for us to hear in our front room but we turned an oscillating fan on upstairs to try to drown out any noise. A couple times we have heard doors slamming and loud bangs, but thankfully the baby is still asleep.

I have warned my husband that if they wake the baby, I will be the one to go tell them off. We've tried being polite about it and they're just being down-right rude.

It's not even the landlord's son who is being loud (I don't think he's home this weekend)...it's this dozy cow that's doing it. ARGH!

I wonder what her definition of 'keeping it down' is?

i would defo say something but wait till she is sober, it could just escalate into a massive row, if she is fuelled by alcholhol and "backed up" by friends
i think just a quite word will do, just remind her you have a baby that still takes naps through the day, people without children may find it easy to forget these things hope it all works out for u x

 

[RJsMum]

My husband and I went over this morning when we saw her come outside to clear up the bottles of alcohol. We basically told her point blank that last night was just unacceptable. We assured her that we're probably the most laid back people to have as neighbours because we don't mind the odd party...but to please give us a heads-up next time around so we can arrange to be away from the house for that time or re-arrange our son's bedtime.

We also let her know that we heard people directly below our floor which means they were in the cellar (which our landlord promised us no one would be accessing). At one point my husband heard a female's voice ask them to get out because they weren't supposed to be in there and some guy punched the ceiling a couple times to be funny. She denied any knowledge of this even though we're pretty certain it was her.

I spoke up and said that although we don't want to come across as the moany neighbours, a little communication goes a long way. We don't mind reasonable noise. (In fact, the daytime noise wasn't the main issue...just a further annoyance on top of the nighttime noise).

She apologised and said it wouldn't happen again and next time would let us know if she planned on having a lot of company over.

We'll see if it happens, but I feel 100% better for at least clearing the air and speaking directly to her about the issue. I do hope she understands now and has a bit more respect...and if anything, we know we have made the effort to make her fully aware of what we expect to live amicably as neighbours. We would expect the same if the shoe was on the other foot.

In the meantime, when the time comes for us to own our own home...we definitely want to go for a detached home. Hehe.