Nervous about Bf in public

[Smanderson]

I'm pretty nervous about bf in public but I know I need to find a way to get past this. are there any covers or tops you can recommend? Any tips or advice you can offer?

 

[happynewmom1]

One way is to wear a tank top with a shirt on top that you can lift up and the tank down on one side. That way you are covered enough but don't have something on top. I have a nursing cover.. Something I can slip on top.. It goes around her but I can still see her so she doesn't try to pull it off usually. I also try to keep it simple for me and wear something that can easily be pulled down or aside for easy nursing. There are nursing tanks and things but they can be kinda expensive for us and I find this simple enough. Try to block out other people.. It doesn't matter if anyone looks or anything. I've personally not had an issue with it so far. I have even walked around nursing her with a cover around her.. Nobody can see, we don't have to stop and she gets fed. Wirh my first I wasn't confident enough at first and would hide in bathrooms or the car but I found it wasn't other people that were the problem but my confidence level and getting the hang of it.

I'll try to find a cover like mine so you can see what I mean

OK something like this https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B014...=8-4&keywords=nursing+cover+for+breastfeeding

 

[jessmke]

I tried using a nursing cover twice and it was so irritating I never used it again. I purchased a bunch of nursing tops from a maternity consignment store so they were very affordable, and I made sure to buy tops I really liked so I can just sew the panel closed when I am done nursing and wear them as regular tops. I also justified the purchases because I will be wearing these tops all the time for at least a year, hopefully 2 years. And then can again wear them when we have baby #2, so they would get a lot of use. I also have some nursing tanks and do the trick with the tank underneath a regular shirt. With the nursing tops/tanks there is nothing exposed to the world as you only really expose the nipple which is covered by the baby's head. It can be a bit tricky to nurse discretely when you are first getting the hang of things and baby is learning to latch, but after a few weeks you will both get the hang of things and it will be no problem. Before my DD was born I imagined having my boobs hanging out for all the world the see but it isn't like that at all. Before I nursed her in public I 'practiced' nursing discreetly a couple of times when I would have friends over, even though they wouldn't have cared at all if I just pulled out a boob.

When my DD was about a week old I had to take her to the government offices to discuss my maternity leave and all the people on the waiting area were packed in like sardines on these little chairs. I started nursing my DD and she pulled off just as my letdown happened and I sprayed milk all over th coat of the lady sitting next to me! I was so embarrassed that I didn't say anything, but just pretended to adjust myself in my seat so I brushed her coat off with my arm!

I nurse my DD everywhere and anywhere without a cover and I have never had a single person say anything or even give me an odd look. I even nursed her once in the public swimming pool when she decided to have a meltdown during her swimming lesson. Once you get some confidence you will probably find you don't mind nursing in public at all.

 

[Twinmum87]

I either wear a tank top underneath and pull up my other top or I tuck a muslin cloth into my bra strap and drape it over my chest so I can pull my top down without being exposed. I was extremely nervous but I got so sick of feeding in disabled toilets sat on the floor since there are not even lids on those toilets I just did it. Some places I still don't feel comfy feeing so I have gone into a baby change and propped him up on the table but sometimes the tables are just too low down. Sometimes in places like that I have headed back to the car when possible and fed him there.

 

[Smanderson]

Thanks ladies, some great advice I agree it's me that's got the concerns I don't think anyone else will be bothered or if they are I doubt they would say anything. It's really me feeling anxious about feeling exposed or feeling uncomfortable with feeding in front of others. I think your right I need to practice at home and hopefully get a bit more discreet! I'll look into getting some tanks sounds like that's the way forward. I have large swaddle size muslins do you think that would be OK to use as a cover?

Something else that dawned on me was what to do if DS gets hungry when I'm in the park with my eldest or in the middle of a shop with loads of shopping. What do you do? Do you drop everything and find somewhere to sit and feed? Do you go to the bathroom in the shop? Or do you feed in the middle of the shop? Possible an issue for the early weeks due to cluster feeding etc ds2 seems to spend an awful lot of time feeding. I'm guessing it's more predictable as time goes on? I was unable to bf Ds1 so I have no experience to fall back on. Tia really appreciate your guidance xx

 

[Zephram]

I have always worn two tops so I could pull one top up and one top down and that way you don't have to expose your tummy or chest. Given that baby's head covers your breast there is nothing for anyone to see at all. And if the two tops are the same colour it's really difficult to tell you're doing anything at all, just giving baby a nice hug.

I've always feed at the park on the park bench. Kids parks are full of parents anyway so there is no one around who'll be surprised by what you're doing. As for the supermarket I would just drive to the supermarket, give baby a top up breastfeed in the car and then go and do my shopping so I wouldn't have to worry about it in the middle of the shop.

 

[jessmke]

Something else that dawned on me was what to do if DS gets hungry when I'm in the park with my eldest or in the middle of a shop with loads of shopping. What do you do? Do you drop everything and find somewhere to sit and feed? Do you go to the bathroom in the shop? Or do you feed in the middle of the shop? Possible an issue for the early weeks due to cluster feeding etc ds2 seems to spend an awful lot of time feeding. I'm guessing it's more predictable as time goes on? I was unable to bf Ds1 so I have no experience to fall back on. Tia really appreciate your guidance xx

It depends on where I am/what I am doing. If we are out for a walk in the stroller and are 10 min from home when she starts getting fussy then I just make her wait until we get home. The grocery store chain we shop at has a Starbucks in all of their stores so if I am in the middle of shopping I will go sit at the Starbucks tables with my cart full of groceries and feed here there. Once I fed her sitting on a display of patio furniture in a hardware store! If you are clothes shopping you could always sit in a changing room to feed, or where I live most shopping centres have a food court or sitting areas scattered throughout the centre where I would feed. Basically if there is somewhere for me to sit down then that is where I will feed her. I used to be able to feed her standing up but she is too heavy for me to do that comfortably now. I have never fed her in a bathroom and I don't think I ever would, it seems gross/unsanitary to me.

 

[DaisyDreamer]

To answer the second question, I only have one LO bear in mind, I would just go about my business whilst nursing. Wraps and slings are great for that. I usually nurse where ever, whenever Z needs it. Low cut tanks with a vest or cardigan (though not so much since it's getting warmer) or strapless tops work best in addition to nursing tops.

But I am fairly comfortable with NIP without covers and special outfits and such. No one has said anything to me and actually some people are surprised when they notice I'm nursing because it isn't obvious. State laws protect me to breastfeed where ever I am allowed to be legally

 

[noon_child]

Something else that dawned on me was what to do if DS gets hungry when I'm in the park with my eldest or in the middle of a shop with loads of shopping. What do you do? Do you drop everything and find somewhere to sit and feed? Do you go to the bathroom in the shop? Or do you feed in the middle of the shop? Possible an issue for the early weeks due to cluster feeding etc ds2 seems to spend an awful lot of time feeding.

I think if its a growth spurt or fussy time I'd be tempted to get the shop to deliver the food to my door, or rope in a family member or friend to do the grocery shop!

In my own experience I never had anyone make a comment or tut at me when I NIP. Sometimes I realised I was wearing totally the wrong thing and was very exposed and even then no-one batted an eyelid - I only ever got "ahhhh cute" faces from people. I'd definitely try just using a muslin if you are uncomfortable but LO may not like it as bf can be a time to make eye contact with you and be smiled at.

 

[Twinmum87]

Near shops there is usually some sort of cafe or places like boots, mother care, tesco, marks and spencers have baby feeding rooms so I pick him up and head over to one of those. He knows if I pick him up he I know what he wants and I will feed him even if it is not immediately so he doesn't cry whilst I get there. Parks, bike rides and things like that I wait until he has just fed then aim to be home in 1.5 hours just incase he wants feeding early. I just don't feel comfortable feeding out in the open in a park.

 

[Twinmum87]

Noon-child, it is very easy to feed covering yourself with a cloth without coving baby, I do it all the time So he still gets eye contact.

I find my fiddle beads necklace brilliant. He loves holding onto it when he feeds so it stops him trying to pull the cloth off my chest. If I don't have cloth or necklace he just pulls my boobs and mouth or whacks me lol!

 

[DaisyDreamer]

Noon-child, it is very easy to feed covering yourself with a cloth without coving baby, I do it all the time So he still gets eye contact.

I find my fiddle beads necklace brilliant. He loves holding onto it when he feeds so it stops him trying to pull the cloth off my chest. If I don't have cloth or necklace he just pulls my boobs and mouth or whacks me lol!

same about the whacking! LO is armed and dangerous when nursing

 

[noon_child]

Noon-child, it is very easy to feed covering yourself with a cloth without coving baby, I do it all the time So he still gets eye contact.

Have you got a picture of that? I just can't figure it out in my head! It'd really help me when I'm talking to mums who feel trapped in the house cos baby keeps pulling their cover off because too hot etc.

 

[crownest]

I usually have 2 tops one to pull up and the other down so very little exposed. If I only have a top that pulls down I drape a muslin over the top of my boob tucked into bra strap to feel abit more covered . That way I can still see the DS and make eye contact and he plays with it while feeding.

 

[Smanderson]

Thanks for all your support I've been practicing at home when guests come round and still feel a bit awkward but slightly less nervous about when I eventually venture out. Still recovering from c section but hoping to escape the house this week! So far I've been using a large muslin and will see how I go. I've ordered one of them grab bead necklace's hopefully that will help when he gets bigger and stop him grabbing the muslin. I also ordered a nursing top and plan on trying the two top method too. With the two tops does it matter which one goes up and which goes down? Is that a silly question? I hadn't thought about feeding in the car before going in to the shops will give that a go. Hoping feeds will become a bit more predictable soon. We seem to swing between 2 hourly and continuous feeding! Is that normal for this age? Thanks again for all your support, all your advice really has been a huge help xx

 

[Twinmum87]

Noon-child, it is very easy to feed covering yourself with a cloth without coving baby, I do it all the time So he still gets eye contact.

Have you got a picture of that? I just can't figure it out in my head! It'd really help me when I'm talking to mums who feel trapped in the house cos baby keeps pulling their cover off because too hot etc.

I will try and remember to get OH to take a pic tomorrow but I just tuck the cloth in under my bra strap at my shoulder, drape it flat across my chest, get him on then arrange it so it goes near his face but not on him. So like his nose and mouth on me, little gap then the cloth but the gap is so tiny no one can see skin but also his nose and face are clear of it. It is pretty much the same as the cloth being the top layer of clothing when you do the tank top underneath.

 

[Twinmum87]

Thanks for all your support I've been practicing at home when guests come round and still feel a bit awkward but slightly less nervous about when I eventually venture out. Still recovering from c section but hoping to escape the house this week! So far I've been using a large muslin and will see how I go. I've ordered one of them grab bead necklace's hopefully that will help when he gets bigger and stop him grabbing the muslin. I also ordered a nursing top and plan on trying the two top method too. With the two tops does it matter which one goes up and which goes down? Is that a silly question? I hadn't thought about feeding in the car before going in to the shops will give that a go. Hoping feeds will become a bit more predictable soon. We seem to swing between 2 hourly and continuous feeding! Is that normal for this age? Thanks again for all your support, all your advice really has been a huge help xx

Yes cluster feeding is normal and you will find your baby does this when older too. When having growth spurts or learning and practicing a new skill. It can make them very hungry! You pull the other top up then pull the tank top down off of the boob you are feeding from. It is easier to do it that way I think.

I know it sounds weird (and I know I am crazy lol), but I am much more comfortable feeding in a resauraunt or cafe full of strangers than in front of family or friends. I will not ever feed even in front of my mum but I happily sit in the busy cafe on a Sunday after swimming and feed him whilst I have a drink! The bloke who works the cafe on Sunday gave us a free slice of cake last week haha!

 

[Smanderson]

Yes cluster feeding is normal and you will find your baby does this when older too. When having growth spurts or learning and practicing a new skill. It can make them very hungry! You pull the other top up then pull the tank top down off of the boob you are feeding from. It is easier to do it that way I think.

I know it sounds weird (and I know I am crazy lol), but I am much more comfortable feeding in a resauraunt or cafe full of strangers than in front of family or friends. I will not ever feed even in front of my mum but I happily sit in the busy cafe on a Sunday after swimming and feed him whilst I have a drink! The bloke who works the cafe on Sunday gave us a free slice of cake last week haha!

Thanks hun will give that a go! Haha well maybe there is hope for me too, hope your right and I find it's easier in front of strangers too I'm supposed to be going out with my sister Thursday so will see how I get on. Will practice two top method for now. Am also glad to see cluster feeding is normal for this age. Hopefully will settle soon xx

 

[MrsMA]

Definitely the two top method!

I also feel more comfortable feeding in public rather than in front of acquaintances, I'm happy in front of close friends and my parents though.

When you've done it a few times it will feel easier.

 

[Twinmum87]

Normally I would be more careful of keeping the side covers too but since I was just in my living room! Lol!