never ending problems :(

[NewMom2be5]

Hey Everyone

Well, as mentioned I am now 10 weeks and six days (Tomorrow making 11 weeks), and through out the entirety of finding out till now which has been about five weeks and some days, me and my FOB my bf have discussed what to do, and if it's best to keep the baby or terminate......I all along strongly have been against termination and for keeping the baby and going from there. He has been flip flopping his decision from Go do the surgery, to no do not, to go do the surgery, to do not, over n over and for the last few days since i stood my ground and stated i was not doing the surgery he said he'd support me and go along with it and so on, and i wake up to msgs this morning saying how it'd be horrible for the child to live in two homes since we live at home for the mean time w our parents (We are 24 yrs old, almost 25) and how horrible it would be to let a child grow up in two homes or something around that nature, and how we are not majorly financially equipped. I understand, but I am pregnant now, and it is not a mere future related discussion as far as saying ok we can wait to have a kid till later which apparently would be two /three years down the road. I understand his concerns since i am looking for work and such and but i still strongly feel the same about my decision. By the time i hypothetically would of done the procedure at this point it'd be nearly 12 weeks and even if they will still do it up to 12, I do not feel right about doing that at all and the safeness of doing that and the emotional baggage that goes along with it. His parents are worried for us and if needed are willing to let me stay at their place a bit to re cooperate after the procedure, but to be honest if i did the procedure i would not want to see him or his family again....sounds harsh but, I want no part in the procedure or evening doing it....it goes against everything i believe in. I know having a baby is a lot of work and responsibility and i have a good support circle and i am very willing to work hard and step up to my responsibilities. What does everyone think? Am I being Selfish??? He says i am....My reasons for my decision are not because of artificial reasons like oh a kid would be fun to have around or why not! its like owning a dog or something non realistic. I fully understand all the needs of a child and would put him/her first for sure, and i do not want to do the operation because I am 1. against it , its immoral to me and 2. i am willing to step up and take up my responsibilities.......Any insight from anyone? Thanks!

 

[Gen79]

Hon, that's your decision to make. You can't let him pressure you; you have to let him know that you understand he's scared - as are you I'm sure - but this is what you've chosen. Its not optimal, but it's happening and you'll deal with it. He'll probably come around in time; it's a hard thing to deal with. (I got pregnant on purpose and have had a hard time coming to terms with the fact that it's happening!) Talk to him, be understanding, tell him that you need him to be understanding as well. You're not the first couple to have had this happen to you. It'll be alright.

 

[EHM]

Hiya, I think u should stand your ground, I know where your coming from. I was 26 when I fell pregnant with my 1st child and my now husband was only 23, he lived at home had no responsibiltys was a real mummys boy, we discussed all our options and I was totally ready to go it alone you are not being selfish at all, u are standing up for what u believe, do not be pressured into anything as u may regret it for the rest of your life, if his parents are willing to support a termination are they willing to support and help with a baby? He sound if he is frightened.

 

[libbymarks198]

hey hun sorry you are going through this but you are not aloud to talk about abortion on this forum, i would say your post will be shut down.

keep ya chin up everything happens for a reason

 

[Hunnybear]

Although I understand that you may have ongoing hardship, I think that anyone who is mature enough to be having sex should be prepared for the possible consequences of getting pregnant. I get both of your sides, currently my husband and I aren't the most well off but we are going to make things work because this is something we really really wanted. Of course it's completely up to you but I should let you know that discussion of termination due to lifestyle choices is not allowed on this board.

I hope you find your answer and do what is right for you. Remember there are a lot of resources out there if money is the biggest problem and don't let yourself get pressured into things. Once it's done its done and you dont want to regret it later. Take care!

 

[~KACI~]

https://www.babyandbump.com/forum-help-testing-area/announcements.html

While BabyandBump try to remain pro-choice on most subjects, out of respect for majority of our members that are either trying to conceive, or pregnant, we ask that you do not discuss topics on abortion and terminations outside of the 'Ethical Prenatal Losses' forum.

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