New mummies - August 2013

[CordeliaJ]

For anyone who has given birth this month, whether it is your first, second or 10th baby! Come and join us while we try and cope with these difficult but wonderful early days. Ladies coming over from the third trimester forum, this is the place for you

I myself am a first time mum, and I'm very overwhelmed, despite how incredible I think my new LO is. My husband goes back to work next week and I am a bit panicked about doing all of this by myself. You ladies have been great support all the way through my pregnancy, so it would be lovely to continue to chat with you all. x

 

[aimee-lou]

Hiya all!! :wave:

Aimee here - 3rd baby who finally turned up 9 days post-due (although I still think his dates were wrong but hey ho lol).

Any questions at all fire away and I'll try to help as best I can and I'm sure I'll have a few of my own. So far Charlie is proving pretty 'normal' in his needs. His cord is mm's from dropping off (thank the lord as that smell ) and his nocturnal activities are pretty alright considering - managed to get nearly 6 hours of sleep last night all added up

Hubby went back to work today (Charlie arrived on day 1/2 of his 5 day weekend) and we took the boys fishing yesterday, including Charlie lol. First day alone today and so far we're still alive.

Hello to everyone else. Hope we're all ok and recovering well. I have an announcement to make - my ankles have come back!!

 

[ZooMa]

I'm here! FTM to Vivienne, born Aug 15 at 40+10, 9 lbs 9 oz, 21.5"!

 

[Sweetkat]

I am a FTM of a little girl born on 8 August at 40&4 at 7 pounds.

 

[Sweetkat]

I am a FTM of a little girl born on 8 August at 40&4 at 7 pounds.

Husband went back to work over a week ago & so far am coping fine alone. We even managed to go for a long one hour walk yesterday and baby slept through it

 

[aimee-lou]

I am a FTM of a little girl born on 8 August at 40&4 at 7 pounds.

Husband went back to work over a week ago & so far am coping fine alone. We even managed to go for a long one hour walk yesterday and baby slept through it

It is amazing how quick you get into a little routine. Hubby went back today (got a 4 day stretch but then it gets less workload wise for a while) and while I was a bit daunted last night, the actual doing is a lot less fraught...... plus you no longer have bumps, aches and pains to get in the way. Hooray for sciatica-free housework!!

 

[Lovemybump1]

Hi, I'm a ftm. Lo was born 13 days overdue weighing 9lbs1.5oz on the second of August. He sleeps brilliantly at night, not so great during the day. He then gets overtired during the day and grouchy. He is still so young, but I'm worried we are already spoiling him by picking him up every time he starts to cry. It is the only way he will settle, though, whereas at night he sleeps so well. So difficult to know what the best thing to do is!!

 

[CordeliaJ]

Oh I am with you on the ankles!! My god I was so pleased to see them for the first time yesterday in about 9 months! Lol, forgot I even had them!

DH and I went for our first walk with LO on monday, he got stressed out with the heat, and then needed a feed. Had to find a little private (ish) bench in the park. I find it quite stressful because a) neither Oliver or myself are quite there with getting the feeding just right, so it takes quite a few goes, b) I hate breastfeeding in public because I'm so shy and just not used to it, and c) when he cries I get quite panicked that I won't be able to get him to stop.

He also gets really bad painful wind - I can't stand seeing him in pain (that painful cry is the worst, breaks my heart!) and while sometimes I can relieve it for him, other times I can't and just get really scared because I don't know what to do to help him!

Anyway, really dreading DH going back to work because I have no idea what I'm doing!

 

[CordeliaJ]

Hi, I'm a ftm. Lo was born 13 days overdue weighing 9lbs1.5oz on the second of August. He sleeps brilliantly at night, not so great during the day. He then gets overtired during the day and grouchy. He is still so young, but I'm worried we are already spoiling him by picking him up every time he starts to cry. It is the only way he will settle, though, whereas at night he sleeps so well. So difficult to know what the best thing to do is!!

We have the opposite - he sleeps so well during the day, but night time he's up pretty much every hour, it's exhausting! Does your LO sleep in a different place at night to during the day? Ours does which I think first started the problem, he's not overly keen on his moses basket, but I think he's getting used to it now. Definitely sleeping longer than he did in the first few days anyway..

 

[aimee-lou]

Lovemybump -- do not worry about spoiling your LO. You simply cannot spoil a newborn with too much love. Think about it from their POV - you've spent 9 months in the womb, hearing voices and a heartbeat in tropical temperatures. Suddenly you're thrust into the cold world and expected to fend for yourself. Picking up and cuddling is what they need, and as a mum it's a perk you should not deny yourself.

With the sleeping arrangements, maybe try a carrier/sling if baby is difficult to settle and you're finding it's impacting everything else. Getting out and about is good for you all and just the fresh air can help them sleep more/deeper. Defining day and night is useful too.....low lights, low sounds, hushed tones to your voice and a bedtime routine can all help.

Cordelia - I use Infacol, I swear by it. Given before a feed it helps the pockets of air to bunch together so they're easier for LO to get up. Earl, Eddy and now Charlie on it, and I've never had a moment's issue with gas with any of them. Bicycling legs and rubbing their tummies in a circular motion can also help to relieve discomfort.

With the crying, just take a deep breath and think about what the last thing you did with them was. Were they asleep, in which case they may be hungry, if they just fed it may be gas, you get the idea. Other thing I did was have a routine of checks - nappy, temperature, anything digging in or leaks, so if it was something really simple you'd catch it.

Feel like I've gone on and on. Hope it's helpful (don't want anyone to think I'm trying to teach granny to suck eggs here) - I've been there, and even 2nd time round (or in my case 3rd) the learning curve is steep.

 

[beccybobeccy]

Hi ladies! So glad I found you!!

I haven't posted our story yet but will let you know when I have done. Induction was brought forward on Sunday due to reduced movements - once labour kicked in it was all very fast - I went from 4 - 10cm in an hour and Florence Grace joined us 20 minutes later at 5.30am on Monday 19th x

Hope you are all getting on okay. Florence is feeding well but won't settle to sleep anywhere but on me or OH which means sleep is not happening. With Sofia swaddling, white noise and a dummy was our recipe for her sleeping but I can't remember how long it took us to get to that stage and whether I should just enjoy it for now and try all that in a week or so if she is still not wanting to go in the Moses basket! Any thoughts?

 

[Sweetkat]

I am a FTM of a little girl born on 8 August at 40&4 at 7 pounds.

Husband went back to work over a week ago & so far am coping fine alone. We even managed to go for a long one hour walk yesterday and baby slept through it

It is amazing how quick you get into a little routine. Hubby went back today (got a 4 day stretch but then it gets less workload wise for a while) and while I was a bit daunted last night, the actual doing is a lot less fraught...... plus you no longer have bumps, aches and pains to get in the way. Hooray for sciatica-free housework!!

It is amazing and she has been sleeping really well the last couple of days day and night, so it's relaxing at times

 

[CordeliaJ]

Aimee-lou - thanks, I think I'll get some Infacol tomorrow and give it a try. The wind cries are the only ones that really panic me. Every other cry is something I can fix, he's actually a really good baby and only cries if he really needs something. It's just the wind thing is so upsetting because I see him in pain and can't fix it. Presumably infacol is fine to use on newborns? I will def go have a look for some tomorrow though, thank you.

Beccy, I don't have much experience, only a weeks worth, but if it helps, Oliver would only sleep on me or DH for the first 3 nights - cried everytime he was put in the moses basket. On the 4th day, I fed him with the mattress from the moses basket on my lap, and just transferred him to the basket after, and he's been fine in it ever since! He still stirs quite a lot at night, but I think that's because he prefers a closer fitting bed, and there's lots of space in the basket. (I gave in and bought the sleepyhead mattress from John Lewis the other day - so worth the money, he loves it, it's his daytime bed now!)

 

[jjbump]

Hi ladies,

So good to see you all here.

Cordelia, I am having the exact same problem regarding wind. I never experienced this with my other daughter, but our poor little baby is sometimes crying and writhing around in excruciating pain and we have no idea what to do. We've tried every winding position and Infacol over the last few days, but it hasn't made a difference. I know Infacol works after a build up, but we have been consistent yet seen no change.

We're getting so worried because nothing seems to be working. I don't know if going to the GP is the next step.

 

[CordeliaJ]

I know exactly how you feel. I'm sitting here finally being able to come on the forum now that Ollie has gone to sleep. It's 10:40 now, and DH and I have been on/off trying to wind him since 6pm. It seems everytime he finally gets settled, it's been so long that he's hungry again. Then it starts all over again. DH got seriously stressed out with the baby (didn't yell or anything but I could see him getting angry) I told him to go take a breather. This is new for both of us and it's so scary when you have a crying baby and no idea how to soothe them. I've googled it loads and tried every winding position suggested. Can't wait until morning to go get some infacol but sounds from your experience that there's only a 50/50 chance that will help. It's so hard seeing a baby in pain, I too was wondering if I should be taking him to the docs...

 

[jjbump]

I know exactly how you feel. I'm sitting here finally being able to come on the forum now that Ollie has gone to sleep. It's 10:40 now, and DH and I have been on/off trying to wind him since 6pm. It seems everytime he finally gets settled, it's been so long that he's hungry again. Then it starts all over again. DH got seriously stressed out with the baby (didn't yell or anything but I could see him getting angry) I told him to go take a breather. This is new for both of us and it's so scary when you have a crying baby and no idea how to soothe them. I've googled it loads and tried every winding position suggested. Can't wait until morning to go get some infacol but sounds from your experience that there's only a 50/50 chance that will help. It's so hard seeing a baby in pain, I too was wondering if I should be taking him to the docs...

I could have written this post, Cordelia. My OH is seriously stressed now and both of us have been irritable all day, especially with our 2 year old, so I'm feeling sh*t about that too. I've watched a few YouTube videos about how to wind a baby, but there's nothing I haven't tried. In fact, when she's at her worst, she screams more when we try different techniques. The internet is full of conflicting information and advice about wind and colic.

I'm going to give the community midwives a call tomorrow and hope they can offer some other advice. If I learn anything new, I'll post on here.

 

[aimee-lou]

Colief and Dentinox are meant to be good too so maybe worth a try.

JJbump - which milk are you using? Could it be milk related? We use SMA and I know a lot of people have trouble as this is 'heavier' than the others, but because my boys have been such big eaters it's the best one for them. I've heard that C&G is often better but no experience again.

Sorry I can't be more help ladies. The other thing I was going to say is about tummy aches. At this age babies often mistake tummy ache for hunger and will try to eat to get rid of any discomfort. Offering a clean finger or a dummy after a feed while trying the different positions can sometimes help as it stops them over-eating while they comfort suck. Earl used to make my finger raw when he was tiny (took him a while to take a dummy) as he would comfort suck for up to 30 minutes after a feed sometimes.

AFM - Good stuff going on here. Charlie slept 11-4 last night after a mammoth cluster feeding session (9oz over the course of 6 hours! ) then woke briefly for a feed before going back off til 6.30. For some readon all the children were up at 6-6.30 today. Weird as I'm really suffering hormonally today (typical day 5 baby blues which sucks!) so it's going to be a long day, but we'll get through, with the help of Tom and Jerry and Bourbon biscuits! lol Charlie's cord fell off last night too.....yay!

 

[CordeliaJ]

tom & jerry - we've had that on too

So how can you tell the difference between wind & a tummy ache? We've already had a long cry-full morning. After 20 mins of trying every winding position, I offered him another feed in my desperation to get him to stop crying - he took it so maybe he was trying to soothe a tummy ache, I have no idea...

Also I feel for you with those baby blues - I've had them since day 3 and they're no fun. Hopefully they'll pass for us soon.

 

[aimee-lou]

tom & jerry - we've had that on too

So how can you tell the difference between wind & a tummy ache? We've already had a long cry-full morning. After 20 mins of trying every winding position, I offered him another feed in my desperation to get him to stop crying - he took it so maybe he was trying to soothe a tummy ache, I have no idea...

Also I feel for you with those baby blues - I've had them since day 3 and they're no fun. Hopefully they'll pass for us soon.

I used to/still do use the 10 minute rule. If, after 10 or so minutes of trying something consistently and calmly, then that is obviously not the issue and you move on to the next theory. To see if it was post-feed tummy I would sit with my knees up, feet up on the sofa, and place LO in the v formed by my body and legs. The position with their legs up is soothing and you can also rub their tummy or do bicycle legs really easily. They're also upright so spit-up is unlikely. Offer the dummy or a finger while you're doing this and most of the time mine would either end up staring at me with really confused faces or be fast asleep within 10-15 minutes. If after that 10-15 of calm and cuddles they're still rooting for food (that whole baby-bird thing they do whenever anything comes near their face that is just the cutest darned thing in the world! lol) then offer a bit more food (usually for me it's 1-2oz extra/what's left of the last feed) and then repeat. Winding after every oz/5 mins is also useful although is very tedious at times! lol

The 1 week and then 2-3 weeks growth spurts can sometimes run into one another (I know mine have!), and babies cluster feed like there's no tomorrow in the early days, so you just have to play it by ear until they start to settle into a clear routine.

 

[jjbump]

JJbump - which milk are you using? Could it be milk related? We use SMA and I know a lot of people have trouble as this is 'heavier' than the others, but because my boys have been such big eaters it's the best one for them. I've heard that C&G is often better but no experience again.

Hi Aimee-Lou, we are indeed using SMA as it worked so well for my DD. Baby has been a little fretful today, but not as bad as the last few days. We're been working really hard at winding so it may be that or the Infacol kicking in.

It's amazing how down you get about things like this. OH and I have been really stressed about the whole thing, particularly as we had no issues like this with our older daughter. I now dread night times and I feel quite low about it all. I'm even put off by going out as I'm scared I won't be able to handle a screaming baby!

Hopefully our bubbas will outgrow these problems in the next week or two.