New Policies Regarding Divorce

[tallybee]

That sounds awful Snowball Do you think he would cooperate if mediation was offered? Or do you think he'd refuse anyway... he doesn't sound co-operative or reasonable from what you have said.
I think 2.5 months after being abandoned in your situation is still a short time to accuse you of clinging on. Whatever happens with your relationship with your husband, something needs to be sorted regarding the children so you rightly want to keep communication open even if he doesn't.

My DD's 'father' insisted on mediation (we weren't actually married but my point about mediation's limitations stands) even though he was the one who'd cheated, been violent and deserted, like you say, oblivious to his responsibilities then when it came to the actual session he kicked off and stormed off 5 minutes in. If one side doesn't want to cooperate, mediation is a waste of time. It's just unfortunate how many people are like that and just don't seem to give two hoots and there's no way anyone can force them to grow up.

I'm sure mediation can work in some cases but unless there's still some common ground and both parties are willing it's gonna be futile.

 

[Snowball]

That sounds awful Snowball Do you think he would cooperate if mediation was offered? Or do you think he'd refuse anyway... he doesn't sound co-operative or reasonable from what you have said.
I think 2.5 months after being abandoned in your situation is still a short time to accuse you of clinging on. Whatever happens with your relationship with your husband, something needs to be sorted regarding the children so you rightly want to keep communication open even if he doesn't.

My DD's 'father' insisted on mediation (we weren't actually married but my point about mediation's limitations stands) even though he was the one who'd cheated, been violent and deserted, like you say, oblivious to his responsibilities then when it came to the actual session he kicked off and stormed off 5 minutes in. If one side doesn't want to cooperate, mediation is a waste of time. It's just unfortunate how many people are like that and just don't seem to give two hoots and there's no way anyone can force them to grow up.

I'm sure mediation can work in some cases but unless there's still some common ground and both parties are willing it's gonna be futile.

Well he continually moves the goalposts re mediation. When I planned on us moving he suggested it and about us working things eventually if I changed (you'd think I had an affair!) although right now we're going nowhere whilst I'm panicking about him not being here. Then as soon as I say we won't move he backtracks. He still wants a sexual relationship but no commitment. He has temper issues which he promised to get sorted yet as of yet he's done nothing. Also his access involves him sitting on the sofa and me doing everything for the kids. He really has reverted back to being a spoilt teenager.

He doesn't answer my calls, reply to my texts or generally give me the time of day when he's at his mums yet I still stand here open armed offering him it all back... I do wonder why a lot of the time

 

[tallybee]

Yeah it does sound like he's being a spoilt child. The whole basis for mediation is both people being rational and reasonable and it doesn't sound as if he is It sounds like he wants the best of both worlds, and that's not fair on you or your children; you deserve better than that

No such thing as 'no commitment' when there's children in the mix

 

[ShanandBoc]

Sorry to hear you are having such a hard time snowball, you sound like a very thoughtful, forgiving wife, and he is lucky to still have you around.

At the end of the day, if one party isnt willing to come to the table, then what can you do?? Sometimes mediation isnt possible, i understand that. But if you have done the best you can 9and you still are) then u are living up to your marriage vows. Hope it all works out for you x

 

[tallybee]

Unfortunately it seems that all too often there's one person bending over backwards to be reasonable and the other just pissing all over that. The law does not address this and these changes to it will make it even worse.

A thought : Perhaps those who have said that these law changes will make those considering marriage think harder before doing it. But where does it leave those for whom that's too late?

 

[Nibblenic]

Fooked!

Baisically.......... should be interesting shouldnt it :S

 

[tallybee]

Fooked!

Baisically.......... should be interesting shouldnt it :S

Yeah quite

 

[Lightworker]

Yep I also thought that for existing couples it would be useless. Maybe if they said mediation would only be mandatory for couples who get married after a certain date.

 

[tallybee]

Yep I also thought that for existing couples it would be useless. Maybe if they said mediation would only be mandatory for couples who get married after a certain date.

For sure there needs to be flexibility in the rules but all too often new rules are just simply rigidly short-sighted, all-encompassingly half-baked and don't actually work for anybody because the idiots who dreamed them up don't actually live in the real world with the rest of us

 

[Lightworker]

You make me giggle.

 

[Lightworker]

I do remember how, pre-election, they made a big show of appearing to consult moms, and families in general, pretending they were interested in their overall wellbeing.

 

[tallybee]

Perhaps I am just a jaded old cynic but I find it difficult to comprehend how anyone can believe pre-election claptrap from any party.

 

[billy2mm]

Perhaps I am just a jaded old cynic but I find it difficult to comprehend how anyone can believe pre-election claptrap from any party.

yup. i listened to nowt of it coz they will say what tthey think we want them to say then once they are in power say its no longer feasable.

 

[Lightworker]

Yep its a classic case of ' "step into my parlour" said the spider to the fly'

 

[tallybee]

Indeed. Why do so many people fall for it