new pregnancy after losing my son at 20w please help

[Andypanda6570]

Thanks Andrea! Tomorrow is the 24w mark and I can't believe I'm here . it brings me a little bit of hope knowing at least if I go into preterm labor she has atleast a chance to fight. Taking it day by day has seemed to help a lot. I try not to worry as much and feeling her move is reassuring. Two of my cousins had babies last week and surprisingly I wasn't upset like I thought I would be I was actually very happy and excited for them. If it had been a few months ago it would have been completely different. I could barely stand to see or hear a newborn so I know things are moving in the right direction of my healing process.

That is how I also knew I was coming to terms with my grief .. I could finally see and be around and hold a newborn. It was a great feeling and a sad one, but I was so happy I could actually do it and be ok.. It took time , but I got there..I am so happy you are at the 24 week mark!!!!!!! I am glad you are feeling better.. Can't wait to see and read about this wonderful journey. Thanks for sharing it with me, it means a lot..XOXOXO

 

[LaceFace88]

Well girls i will be 35 weeks this upcoming week. I am full of mixed emotions. I am excited that my daughter will be here shortly but am terrified something will go wrong. I have group b strep and am getting worried that because my labor progressed so quickly for my last three pregnacys that i wont make it in time to get the meds. I spoke with my midwife about the concerns i have and she assured me a little. She said as soon as i feel anything go straight to labor and delivery. She would rather me get sent home then me end up going in too late. The guilt has also returned as i am getting closer. I have been going to my sons grave and just crying so much i dont wish i wasnt having my daughter but i wish i could have them both here with me. I know if my son had made it i wouldnt be having my daughter so i dont want to wish that id never had her either i just cant wait for the day when the good lord hands me back my little Elijah. Until then my heart will forever be broken.

 

[Andypanda6570]

Well girls i will be 35 weeks this upcoming week. I am full of mixed emotions. I am excited that my daughter will be here shortly but am terrified something will go wrong. I have group b strep and am getting worried that because my labor progressed so quickly for my last three pregnacys that i wont make it in time to get the meds. I spoke with my midwife about the concerns i have and she assured me a little. She said as soon as i feel anything go straight to labor and delivery. She would rather me get sent home then me end up going in too late. The guilt has also returned as i am getting closer. I have been going to my sons grave and just crying so much i dont wish i wasnt having my daughter but i wish i could have them both here with me. I know if my son had made it i wouldnt be having my daughter so i dont want to wish that id never had her either i just cant wait for the day when the good lord hands me back my little Elijah. Until then my heart will forever be broken.

I can't believe your 35 weeks already How fast that went... I AM sure for us it went fast, not you though.. Please don't feel guilty.. I can almost guarantee Elijah is so happy about your pregnancy..It will be ok, just relax and let time pass..I say that also until i am with Ava my life is not complete..I am here for my 3 sons, I am their mommy too..But I wish people could understand when you say a part of you is missing, that you really mean it..Please continue to update, I would love that..XOXOXOOXXOXO

 

[LaceFace88]

I had my little girl on june 16th. She stood in the hospital for six days because she wasnt gaining eeight and was jaundice. It was pretty scary i was nursing her every two hours and still wasnt getting enough and not getting rid of the bilirubin. It broke my heart seeing her in the isolet but luckily my milk came in good and she finally ie catching up. Thank you all for your support. I dont want to post a pic unless you all feel comfortable with it so please let me know if you would like to see a picture. Again thank you all for your support. It really helped me get through this pregnacy knowing i had you wonderful ladies supporting me. Xoxo

 

[Andypanda6570]

I had my little girl on june 16th. She stood in the hospital for six days because she wasnt gaining eeight and was jaundice. It was pretty scary i was nursing her every two hours and still wasnt getting enough and not getting rid of the bilirubin. It broke my heart seeing her in the isolet but luckily my milk came in good and she finally ie catching up. Thank you all for your support. I dont want to post a pic unless you all feel comfortable with it so please let me know if you would like to see a picture. Again thank you all for your support. It really helped me get through this pregnacy knowing i had you wonderful ladies supporting me. Xoxo

OMG!! I am overjoyed for you

I am so happy you posted, I was wondering how everything is. I am fine with you posting a picture, don't know how others feel.. I feel so happy for you, you must be over the moon Can I ask her name? Anyway, I hope to see a picture, I am sure she is gorgeous ..I wish all the best, Congratulations

 

[mummy2o]

I had my little girl on june 16th. She stood in the hospital for six days because she wasnt gaining eeight and was jaundice. It was pretty scary i was nursing her every two hours and still wasnt getting enough and not getting rid of the bilirubin. It broke my heart seeing her in the isolet but luckily my milk came in good and she finally ie catching up. Thank you all for your support. I dont want to post a pic unless you all feel comfortable with it so please let me know if you would like to see a picture. Again thank you all for your support. It really helped me get through this pregnacy knowing i had you wonderful ladies supporting me. Xoxo

My son had jaundice when he was born. If she's going a bit yellow, just but her by a window or take her outside for some sun rays and that should help. Glad your milk came in also. I'd love to see a picture and a name.

I'm currently feeling like you did at the beginning of your post. Anxious and nervous, also lately incredible guilty about being pregnant again. Not sure why, but I feel like I haven't done enough to remember my angel son. I honestly don't feel excited at all, although I'm happy to be pregnant. Does that make sense?

 

[Andypanda6570]

I had my little girl on june 16th. She stood in the hospital for six days because she wasnt gaining eeight and was jaundice. It was pretty scary i was nursing her every two hours and still wasnt getting enough and not getting rid of the bilirubin. It broke my heart seeing her in the isolet but luckily my milk came in good and she finally ie catching up. Thank you all for your support. I dont want to post a pic unless you all feel comfortable with it so please let me know if you would like to see a picture. Again thank you all for your support. It really helped me get through this pregnacy knowing i had you wonderful ladies supporting me. Xoxo

My son had jaundice when he was born. If she's going a bit yellow, just but her by a window or take her outside for some sun rays and that should help. Glad your milk came in also. I'd love to see a picture and a name.

I'm currently feeling like you did at the beginning of your post. Anxious and nervous, also lately incredible guilty about being pregnant again. Not sure why, but I feel like I haven't done enough to remember my angel son. I honestly don't feel excited at all, although I'm happy to be pregnant. Does that make sense?

I am so happy for you XOOX

 

[LaceFace88]

I hope i uploaded that right. Thank you both . i completly understand the feelings of guilt and not being excited but i promise you it does get easier and you will start to become more excited as time passes and once baby is here you will feel much better. The way i have dealt with the guilt is i have decided that my daughter will know all about her big brother who is in heaven and i know he is watchong over us all especially his baby sister. It has been hard having a newborn and knowing he wont ever be here with us makes me feel very sad about that. Especially that the children will never grow up with him but i know one day we will all be together again. If you ever need anyone to talk to pm me anytime. Having someone who knows what your going through makes it even just a little bit easier to deal with knowing you are not alone. Again thank you guys soo soo much i will be kit.

 

[Andypanda6570]

I hope i uploaded that right. Thank you both . i completly understand the feelings of guilt and not being excited but i promise you it does get easier and you will start to become more excited as time passes and once baby is here you will feel much better. The way i have dealt with the guilt is i have decided that my daughter will know all about her big brother who is in heaven and i know he is watchong over us all especially his baby sister. It has been hard having a newborn and knowing he wont ever be here with us makes me feel very sad about that. Especially that the children will never grow up with him but i know one day we will all be together again. If you ever need anyone to talk to pm me anytime. Having someone who knows what your going through makes it even just a little bit easier to deal with knowing you are not alone. Again thank you guys soo soo much i will be kit.

OMG, she is beautiful!!!! Look at her eyes!!! Please come back every now and again to update, I know your busy so when you have time..I am over the moon happy for you, she is gorgeous..

 

[elmaynet]

My daughter was born one year and one day after the loss of our first son at 24 weeks. I too was terrified, especially until I got past the point in my pregnancy where we suffered our loss.
Allow whatever feelings you have to exist, but always counteract it by telling your daughter how blessed you feel that she is growing inside you. She isn't a replacement and is a loved soul in her own right. The guilt is normal, just don't forget to allow yourself those moments of enjoying your daughter inside you!!