New to forum - TTC #1 at 35 and lots of questions!!

[Tinkerbelle35]

Hi everyone,

I've been lurking for the last few weeks and finally decided to join. I'm 35, DH is 32 and we've just recently started TTC for first baby. I've only been off the pill for a month, but given my control freak tendencies and the idea of seeing a fertility specialist if things don't work in 6 months, I'm determined to learn as much as I can now. It's disturbing how little I knew about baby making up until this age - thanks to the pill, out of sight out of mind, right?!

Anyways, I have some TMI questions, not sure where the best place to post them is around here? Any advice (TTC or forum related) is greatly appreciated 😊

TB

 

[Spudtastic]

Hey tb - I'm 36 and pretty much learned all the baby making stuff in the 6 months. we definitely studied ovulation and implantation in biology at school but I guess it went in one ear and out the other. They never taught as about cm and ewcm though and all the intricacies.
Fire away with those questions. Noone seems to mind tmi. Good luck with ttc.

 

[Tinkerbelle35]

Thanks for the welcome. I definitely don't remember anything egg white related in high school health classes - maybe they imagined the amount of giggling that would follow and decided it wasn't worth it?

Actually, cm seems to have become a new obsession. I did an hpt on Sunday and it was neg, still no AF but I feel like this month it didn't happen for us. That's ok, it's early, but I'm focusing on what may have been the problem and I'm wondering if I produce enough cm? I've read some people say they need to wear panty liners and I'm nowhere near that. My peak day this month, it was on the toilet paper and I got stringy, stretchy stuff hanging out of me after bowel movements. That was on the 8th, and we BD'd on the 7, 8, 10 and 11, all EWCM was gone by the 12th so I assume our timing was good.

So my question is, how much cm is "normal"? I read that what matters is how much is up by the cervix, but even when I check with my finger, there's never anything there (except yesterday morning when a bit of creamy cm was actually on my fingers). Plus, it seems like I'm not following the proper pattern of cm throughout my cycle, I've had a bit of EWCM following bowel movements and on toilet paper at least twice since when I assume I ovulated.

I've read up on hydrating, green tea, EPO and flaxseed, so that's on deck for next month. Maybe opk, too, just to throw everything at the problem at once???

 

[Spudtastic]

Hey tinkerbelle - I've had the ewcm obsession too. It seems everyone is different. There's no way I need a panty liner either but it's there. If you think you don't have enough there is some lubricant or something or other. I think it's called preseed but I've never used it. Its not like a normal lubricant. preseed is a sperm friendly environment and helps those swimmers reach the egg.

I'm on cd5 so I'm interested in what they say about green tea and flaxseed? do they help? What is epo?

Your bd-ing timing sounds great. Fingers crossed for a bfp for you?

I have a two year old daughter. We started trying for a sibling when she was 9 months old. I've had two miscarriages since then. My last one was a missed miscarriage and I had surgery (erpc) on 22nd jan when I would have been 19 weeks.

I used opks the last time I got pregnant. They were great. I didn't realise I ovulate late - around cd18 to 21 so I think that had been the problem all those cycles I didn't get pregnant. they are super easy to use. Just read the instructions because you have to do them in theafternoon and a second line showing lh doesn't mean a positive. It has the be as dark as the control line. I'll probably start using mine on cd11 just to make sure I Catch ovulation. I didn't ovulate after my erpc last cycle so I'm hoping I do this time.

 

[Tinkerbelle35]

Thanks for the reply, Spud. I'm sorry to hear about the miscarriages, I can't even imagine how hard that must be.

Apparently being well hydrated can help with more EWCM. Green tea and grapefruit juice are supposed to help, too, but I can't drink grapefruit juice because of meds I take. EPO is evening primrose oil, it's supposed to help produce more ewcm, too, but you only take it from AF to o, then stop o to af/bfp as it can cause uterine contractions that make it more difficult for a fertilized egg to attach. In fact, it's also used as a natural method of inducing labor. Flaxseed oil can be substituted after o to help keep the omega oils up in the body for the next cycle (and it's not harmful to a potential fetus). At least that's my understanding so far

I know I ovulate late, as my cycles have always been a bit long, so I was looking for that. Right now, I'm at day 33, which is getting close to my max 35 days. Tomorrow on the way home from work I'm either buying hpt or opk

I also bought a bbt thermometer when I ordered the epo, but it seems like a very tedious way to get retroactive info. I'm thinking the opk is more direct? I'm determined to try everything now, so that if we have to talk to a fertility specialist, they can get creative right away

 

[Spudtastic]

I usually have 35 day cycles too so I think my o is closer to cd21. It's a long wait.
thanks for the info. I am a green tea drinker but haven't been drinking a lot of it lately so I'm upping my intake. I read somewhere too that green tea helps improve cellular health. I'm hoping this will help with egg quality but that's my own assumption.

Yeah temping seems like a lot of work. I don't do it because I don't but it wouldn't work for me anyway. You have to sleep well and get up at the same time and that never happens with a two year old around.

So I wasn't going to start opks until cd11 but I suddenly got worried that as didn't o last cycle my body might do something as equally as whacky this cycle and o early. Of course todays was blank white lol but at least I know.

so which did you pick up? Opks or hpt?

 

[Spudtastic]

Oh and I've been intending to make flax seed crackers for a while now so I may just have to do it.

 

[Tinkerbelle35]

I admit I'm not quite clear on the green tea, doesn't tea dehydrate you? So I guess more water to compensate? I already have the bladder of a 2 year old, so anything that has me running to the bathroom more is not good! Oh well, that'll be pregnancy, too, right?

I stopped by the pharmacy on the way home and picked up the hpt. They didn't have opk's, and I think I'll order the clear blue one off of amazon anyway, if necessary. For now, unless mother nature has a truly wicked sense of humor and AF comes over night, I'll be testing in the morning. Aside from some very light...something, I can't even quite call it cramping...I have no signs of AF. But at the same time I don't feel pregnant either. I know it's possible to not feel anything and still be preggers, but I feel like if something THAT big had changed in my body, I'd know it!

Incidentally, had a long talk with DH last night and it turns out there's someone who knows (knew less about fertility and EWCM than me We've agreed to try opk next month if bfn this weekend, sort of throw everything at these 6 months of trying before the dreaded fertility specialist looms.

But I admit, I have my hopes up, even though I'm expecting a bfn tomorrow...

 

[Tinkerbelle35]

Yup, bfn this morning. Still no signs of AF, this is 16-18 dpo. I admit, this was the bigger fear: that my cycle will continue to be so irregular that I can't track anything properly and drive myself crazy waiting for my period every month!

Is it possible my cycle is messed up from the pill? I purposely stopped the pill at the start of my last cycle, hoping that would reset things. We had originally planned to wait another month or two, but I missed my period altogether once in September and again in early January, so when it finally came back, we decided to just stop the pill hoping all will be nornal. My cycles have never been totally regular, they stopped altogether on depo provera for a few years (I stopped that in 2011), and during this last year+ on the pill, I've missed 2 periods altogether and others have been really long or odd flows.

Also, does anyone know if there's a way to know if you've actually ovulated? From my understandings EWCM is technically a sign of increased progesterone, which accompanies ovulation, but I'm wondering if there's a way of knowing if an egg has actually been released?

 

[Spudtastic]

Hey tinkerbelle. I was just quickly popping in but I couldn't not reply to your post. But I'll make it quick too as I'm cooking dinner.

Have you ever been tested for pcos? Irregular periods are a sign.

Also..tthere is a thread here called bfp chasers....ffeel free to join.

There are lots of lovely ladies who have been through pretty much everything. they will know the answers. I have a feeling temping is the only way to know you've actually ovulated because if you have pcos you can get a positive on an opk and still not ovovulatione. Hope this helps and I'm sorry you got a bfn.
l

 

[Topanga053]

Hi TB!

I'm not 35+, but I happened to poke onto this board and saw your post. I TTC'd for quite awhile for my daughter, so I thought I'd answer some of your questions.

First, one month is nothing! I know it's easy to get obsessed with TTC, but the AVERAGE time of conception is about six months. So try not to worry.

*CM- I'm sure you're fine. I don't know anyone who really needs a panty liner for it, honestly. Although, CM can vary from woman to woman. My body is really weird (discussed more below), but I usually see CM AFTER I ovulate. So, for me personally, I never trust CM alone to determine when I'm ovulating.

*OPK/BBT- OPKs can be great, especially if you don't ovulate at the same time every month or aren't sure when you're actually ovulating. Again, my body is weird and I usually got 11 days of + every month (you're supposed to get 2 days at most). However, in some cases (like mine) the OPKs aren't enough to actually confirm ovulation. They tell you when you're having an LH surge, which usually happens shortly before ovulation. But if you're like me and have an extended surge, the OPKs don't mean much and you need the BBT to actually confirm ovulation retroactively (VERY helpful if you're TTC'ing for awhile and need to determine when you're actually ovulating each month). In my case, BBT showed that I actually ovulated after about 5-6 days of positive OPKs. (Seriously, my body is insanely weird. My OB had never seen anything like it.) I know I'm the exception rather than the rule, but I'm just trying to give an example of how BBT can be invaluable, if your cycle is at all weird like mine.

*Pill- I think the doctor's say that the pill won't mess up your cycle, but I am CONVINCED that the pill really screwed up my cycle for several months.

*Confirming ovulation- OPKs will tell you that you've had an LH surge, which USUALLY signals an egg is about to be released. And BBT will show that your temperature has increased, which is USUALLY the result of an increase in progesterone, which USUALLY means that you've ovulated. However, the only way to really confirm it is to have an ultrasound and/or a blood test. The blood test is commonly known here as a CD21 test. The reason is that most women ovulate on CD14 and the test is done 7 days after ovulation. Progesterone levels peak 7 days after ovulation, so they draw your blood 7 days after you think you've ovulated in order to test the amount of progesterone in your system to confirm ovulation. I have the CD21 test done twice when we were TTC. The first time we did it 7 days after my first OPK (at my OB's suggestion). The levels were so low that she said I probably didn't ovulate. However, the next cycle I did BBT and realized that my temperature didn't rise until later in my cycle (around CD28), so we did the test then and it confirmed that I had ovulated. So it was only through a combination of OPKs, BBT, and blood tests that we finally confirmed that I ovulate on CD21.

I'm sorry about the BFN this month and I wish you all the luck in the world!! Please feel free to PM me if you want to discuss anything TTC-related! I'm still a bit obsessed!