newly single and scared...

[xxsteffyxx]

As people can see from my ticker, my little man is a mere 3 weeks old. Chris and I were together 3 months before I got pregnant and we were very much in love. All through pregnancy we argued, I stopped loving him before I hit 20 weeks. But I fought with my emotions to make things work... I didn't want Harvey to not have a dad and I tried hard to make it work.

Chris was always in and out of work, never for more the 3 months and he would be in work 3 months and on JSA for another 5 months after. He had a terrible work ethic and believed a 'cold' was a good enough excuse to call in sick. I always had to fill in his job seekers book, apply for jobs online - the list is endless.

After my c-section with Harvey he smoothered me! Mum wanted to see her grandson everyday and although he would be nice as pie to my mums face, as soon as she had gone home he would kick and scream and swear at me, asking why she isisted on getting in our way and harassing us all the time! I dunno about you ladies, but I believe my mum has every right to see her grandchild as much as she likes. He isn't working and played on xbox all day - why shouldn't my mum come over? She was better company then him.

So - this weekend I ended it. I wanted to have Harvey overnight but Chris went mad saying that 'he wanted time with HIS son as he doesn't get to spend anytime with him' (bare in mind he doesn't work, and has spent the last 3 weeks sitting at home on xbox) so painfully I had to let my little boy go.

Ladies I just need some reasurance. I didn't intend on things happening this way. I didn't want it to happen. I'm so scared what's going to happen now and how things will be...

Someone shed some light maybe?

 

[xAmiixLouisex]

Have you moved out or has he? You didn't have to let him have him over night. Don't let him pressure you into things. Arrange visiting and overnight stays and arrange it around what you think is best for your son and what you feel comfortable with.

Sorry your going through this. I don't have much experience as I'm currently a single mom to be and FOB's just a jerk who doesn't want to be involved. But, it'll all work out. Chin up.

 

[Laura2919]

I would NEVER of let him have my baby! Not 3 weeks old and now court would allow him to either! He should've supervised for now!
I agree on a level with your mum, maybe everyday is a bit much but often I definitely wouldn't complain.. But he should be doing his best which he is not.

 

[teal]

I'm sorry to hear you're in this situation

I agree with the above though, don't feel pressured into letting him get his own way and have your son overnight or away from you. He's only three weeks old and as you've said FOB had plenty of time but chose to sit on his xbox.

xx

 

[dustbunny]

Dont be bullied into situations by emotions. I hate with a passion emotional bullies. Lay it out on the line to him, explain why you ended it, be really blunt and honest. It will be a nasty conversation but then it is all said. Point out he doesn't work and has had 3 weeks of opportunity and has done jack shit about it.
If he wishes to be involved then go to mediation and get it resolved that way. Then you know when he is coming around, know what is going on and are kept majorly in the loop. Also question is he trying to stay involved to get you back, is he the sort of man who sees you are the goal not the baby.
He sounds like a right waste of space but keep strong.