Newly single ..... Lots of questions!!

[mrsp14]

Ok... So main question first....

My son is 2...... So I know the terrible twos are a aha for but I think there's a bit more to it!! We moved into our new house 4 weeks ago and as the childrens dad lives overseas they've only seen him on Skype. They'll spen a two weeks with him in February. My son has gone from bad I worse, his behaviour is worse than he's ever been and he's begin to randomly attack his sister (aged 4). She can be completely minding Her own business and he'll push her over. Today they were playing togethwr quite happily and he decided to bite her chin..., and left a mark. I'm getting a bit nervous about taking him out or to friends houses as I don't know what he'll do.

Is there anything I can do for him. He's obviously not happy. No amount of me being calm and nice has worked and no amount of telling a off and time outs have made a difference. He used to be such a lively happy boy

Second question..... Do I have to maintain contact with the in laws. They want skype calls etc but I'm uncomfortable talking to them. They've called me names and stuff (without knowing any of the truth) and I'd rather avoid them. I also don't think they're the greatest role models for my children as their heavy drinkers.

Final question (for now!!) I want to start divorcing my ex..... But how on earth do I afford it? What's the cheapest way to get divorced without waiting for years!!??

Thanks in advance!!

 

[baileybubs]

Hi there,

I can't help you with the first question as my kids aren't at that age yet so don't seem to have been particularly bothered that their dad is no longer around.

Second question, I don't think there's anything that says you have to keep in touch with them but I am keeping in touch with mine for my kids. I don't want them growing up thinking that all of the ex's family didn't want anything to do with them. But then I get along well with my ex's family and they even side with me over the way the ex is currently behaving. So I suppose it's your own judgement call on what would be worse....would their influence be worse or would the effect of your kids not seeing them be worse? It depends on the individual situation I think.

The last question the answer is that unless one of you has a valid reason to contest (such as cheating) then you have to wait 2 years. It can be hard work arguing the reasons for a divorce if you want to get one quickly but if you and your ex both want it quick as long as you both agree on the reasons then I think you could do it. I think it does have to be serious reasons though, I don't think they'd grant a quick divorce for just not wanting to be together any more. But I'm not 100% on that. With my ex husband we waited 2 years coz it would have cost more to do straight away.