Nightmares or something else?

[greekgirl]

I am having lots of issues tonight which I need feedback for. It's almost 5 o clock in the morning here and I have been up for 2 hours or more since my kids last wake up.

So normally he, my son, sleeps through the night.
Once or twice a week, he wakes up and cries uncontrollably for a while and nothing I do or say helps.
And he doesn't want my husband, he wants me.
Sometimes I ask if it was a bad dream and he says yes. And after a glass of water and some comforting he eventually calms down.
Then there are nights like tonight.
Everything I did bothered him.
Talking, touching, sitting, hugging, kissing, not moving, trying to lie down with him, everything bothered him. He kicked, he flapped around and at some point hit his head by accident on the wall from all the pushing my arm away or kicking my legs to get me to move.
What is wrong with my kid?
If he did this every night I would already be visiting doctors.
But it's an occasional thing.
When he gets like this communication gets shut off and it seems he doesn't know or forgets what was wrong.
Sometimes I wonder if he cries from pain or a nightmare and then gets so annoyed that I can't read his mind he ends up forgetting what was wrong. Because he eventually gets this confused look on his face like, what is going on? Which makes me worry too.
I don't know what to do.
He doesn't seem autistic to me but maybe that's because I am comparing him with my best friends twin brother who was autistic but he needed to be put in a special school and special olypmics for him and no getting through to him at all. My kid is aware of his surroundings, responsive, makes eye contact, laughs a lot, plays with other kids, blah blah blah everything is normal besides the hand flapping and the little voice in my head that tells me that something isn't right.
He is a gifted artist and very imaginative and we talk about all sorts of things and make up silly stories where most of the time the big bad wolf shows up and blows things away. But when he throws a fit or wakes in the night and cries unconsolably I feel like I lose him for those moments. Like I don't know where he is.
He pushes me away, he won't let me touch him, but he doesn't want me to leave. Sort of like a teenager.
Dear God help us.
Let this just be toddlerhood at its worse. Let it just be something that will pass just like when everything had to belong to someone and only them and we would freak out crying if another person dared tried touching it. That was fun. But it passed.

 

[Kanichen34]

Sounds like a night terror. They often aren't fully aware and interacting with them can actually disorient them and make them worse. What happens if you don't go to him? My daughter occasionally cries out in her sleep, I always give it a minute before I respond. Sometimes it's just a cry for a few seconds as she rolls over, and then she settles. If I had gone in I'd have disturbed her. If it goes on for more than a minute or 2 I go to her. Sometimes she lays herself down as soon as I walk in and say shhhhh. Other times she wants a cuddle. I always go by what she wants but I don't stay until she's asleep. I stay until she's settled then head back to bed. I'd say if you do go in interact as little as possible so he knows you are there but you aren't stopping him settling himself.

 

[jessmke]

I also think it sounds like a night terror (which is different from a nightmare/bad dream). They are quite common in toddlers and they usually outgrow them. In the morning does he remember what happened in the night? With night terrors they have no memory of the incident in the morning.

 

[greekgirl]

Thanks. I do wait. I can tell when he is sitting up in his bed crying and not going to go back to sleep right away and when he is just calling out or crying in his sleep. And can get a feel for when I can leave and let him settle on his own.
Or at least, I think I know...

I remember hearing about night terrors on "Dr house".
It's true. Lefteri, my son, can't recall anything the next day.

 

[DCS]

Diffinately sounds like night terrors. My dd Who is 2 has them. Always when she has missed her nap. Always between 30- 50 minutes of falling asleep. I sit on her bed with her, and wait, she usualy does a big yawn and sigh and then she usually snaps out of it. I offer a drink, give her a cuddle, rub her back and she is back asleep within minutes. It's horrible to watch. She seems so distressed, keeps shouting for mummy despite me being right next to her, but she has no recollection of it. I try not to talk to her or interact with her during a terror.

 

[minties]

Sounds like a normal toddler thing, Sophie still gets this about once a week. Nothing I do is 'right' and she never remembers the next day. It's almost like she isn't actually awake when it happens.

 

[Eleanor ace]

DD1 does this, around once a week also although recently the frequency has reduced (touch wood!). With her it's just a normal (but not the most fun!) toddler thing; I know several other LO's who do/did this (the ones who have grown out of it seemed to by around 5 years old). Sometimes with DD it helps to bring her out of it by getting her up and out of bed, taking her to the toilet/for a drink etc and although she is annoyed about it it seems to reset her a bit and she'll go back to bed grumbling and cross at me but happy to go to sleep.

 

[BunnyN]

DD did that a lot and still does sometimes. She is worse if she is not feeling well from a cold or something but most of the time I don't think there is anything in particular wrong she just finds it hard to cope when she is half asleep. I know I hate the feeling when I half wake up when I am too hot, or need to pee, or there is noise or something and I feel all uncomfortable and figity and grumpy. Its okay once I am propperly awake or get back to sleep but the in between bit is horrid so I just kind of assumed thats what was happening with DD but as a toddler she doesn't know how to cope with it.

 

[StaceyKor]

Dd1 used to have night terrors quite often when she was around 2.5 years old. Dd2 was 2 in July and she has had 1 so far. They are really frightening to see ad it feels like you can't help them or are somehow failing. Neither of mine remember it in the morning. It's been a long time from dd1 had one thankfully (hers were way worse than dd2 was)xx

Edit to add: I also had no clue what it was the first few times it happened to dd1. I was questioning if there was something more going on health wise too but she seems to have outgrown it xx

 

[Mannie89]

My son has night terrors every now and then too. He's just over 2yrs old and he has had them about once a month/every other month since he was 15months old. It doesn't happen very often and it's almost always when he hasn't had a nap or hasn't had a long enough nap during the day. I'm sorry you're going through it. They are scary. I hate seeing my kiddo like that.

 

[Vickie]

My son has night terrors as well. He almost never fully wakes up so we try not to go in unless absolutely necessary (since he shares a room with his sister we do sometimes need to go in and see if we can calm him). We've found that being over tired triggers his night terrors and overall restless sleep so we try really hard to keep his bedtime consistent.