Nipping To The Shop

[LoraLoo]

She said 12-14 but i think it's one if those situations where you don't really know until you've experienced it and her children are still young.

I can remember the we first let my eldest to the shop on her own. It felt like one minute there wasn't a cat in hells chance id let her and then suddenly we were. I think she was around 10/11.

I think most people start leaving children short periods around 11 because that is the age they start secondary school here, and typically start walking to school on their own. Obviously depends on other factors such as maturity, area etc too so give or take a year or so either way but that is what is normal in my area.

 

[Natsku]

Yeah you can't be sure until you're "there" so to speak, when they suddenly seem ready and more mature, seems to happen overnight!

There's just no chance for most parents to wait until 11 or so because of the way the schools work unless one parent stays home as even working part time wouldn't work because school hours vary day to day.

 

[kbwebb]

I couldnt imagine leaving DD any time soon. I know that i was allowed to go to the park alone at age 7/8 and my mum would maybe go the shop 5 minutes away while i was at home. I was allowed to go on the bus to town at age 10 with a friend to get me ready for high school the following year.

saying that, I often see children from DD's class playing in the street with their siblings alone so i suppose it depends on each persons comfort zone and their childs maturity.

 

[Twag]

It is a long way off for me yet but my nephews have just started to be trusted to go out alone and be home alone for short periods and they have just started secondary school so 11/12 and I think that would be acceptable age to me!

 

[Witchrose]

Born in the 70s (in the US). I remember my sister and I were left by 6 and 7 years of age when my parents would go shopping. And we were babysitting other kids by the time we were 12.

Now I'm in Germany, and you see kids as young as 6 riding the subway alone. It's just normal. People don't just hop in cars all the time here, so kids are taught to get around on the public transport, bikes, and walking. I hear it's the same in Japan. So I gather if they're trusted to get around themselves, that they're trusted to be at home alone.

There's nothing negligent about it. Just a different attitude and approach to life/raising kids etc.

We're not there yet as our son is only three, but considering the emotional intelligence he has already shown, I don't think I'd have any qualms about leaving him home for short periods of time when he was 6 or so.

 

[misspriss]

Waiting until 14?! At 16 teenagers can move out and live on their own!

Not in the US they can't, not until 18.

It's not a matter of nipping down to the shop 2 minutes away for me. It's a solid drive. I'd be a good drive away from my child if there were danger.

12 to 14 is what I said, depending on the child and their level of responsibility. Probably younger if the neighbors (DH's parents) were home and could be there immediately in case of emergency.

You are right the culture is different, people get child services called for letting their children walk to school or the park. (link)

 

[misspriss]

And unfortunately, unless we move, my kids will probably never ride a subway or public bus transport (as kids), they just don't have it where we live. They will start out with permits (as early as 14!) in 2,000lb potential killing machines. Different world. This means they can't learn or be capable of the same kind of independence at the same age, simply because our infrastructure is different.

 

[Wobbles]

No I wouldn't leave them home to go to the supermarket which is roughly a 15 min drive each way. I'm 2-3 minutes round the corner from my local shop

You can get cameras in your home accessible from mobile devices

 

[Witchrose]

Culture and infrastructure definitely have a lot to do with it. I was thinking about this more as I find it an interesting topic, and I'm sure that the reason parents here are more comfortable in letting their kids go about the city by themselves even at very young ages, is that they have years of daily practice doing so with their parents beforehand. They learn street and subway safety because it's the way of life.

I'm not sure how bad it is in the UK, but I do think one of the best things the US could do would be to fix so many of the sidewalks and build better public transport systems. It does drive me a bit batty that the government is always going on and on about child obesity, yet they seem to go out of their way to make it difficult for children to be able to walk around or ride their bikes.

 

[LoraLoo]

Culture and infrastructure definitely have a lot to do with it. I was thinking about this more as I find it an interesting topic, and I'm sure that the reason parents here are more comfortable in letting their kids go about the city by themselves even at very young ages, is that they have years of daily practice doing so with their parents beforehand. They learn street and subway safety because it's the way of life.

I'm not sure how bad it is in the UK, but I do think one of the best things the US could do would be to fix so many of the sidewalks and build better public transport systems. It does drive me a bit batty that the government is always going on and on about child obesity, yet they seem to go out of their way to make it difficult for children to be able to walk around or ride their bikes.

The issue in the UK is that not everyone has driveways, especially in old Victorian terraced streets. Streets can be narrow and people double park on the streets, it means children may be crossing roads between parked cars which is a nightmare- when I'm crossing over on the school run I literally have to keep my arms out so the kids stay behind me and walk into the middle if the road to check its clear before crossing them over, its a nightmare. Our schools dont have car parks so people park where ever they want, on pavements, zig zag lines, double lines etc. It definitely wouldn't be safe for kids to cross alone.

 

[aimee_1691]

People actually leave 5 year olds alone? :0

 

[Witchrose]

Culture and infrastructure definitely have a lot to do with it. I was thinking about this more as I find it an interesting topic, and I'm sure that the reason parents here are more comfortable in letting their kids go about the city by themselves even at very young ages, is that they have years of daily practice doing so with their parents beforehand. They learn street and subway safety because it's the way of life.

I'm not sure how bad it is in the UK, but I do think one of the best things the US could do would be to fix so many of the sidewalks and build better public transport systems. It does drive me a bit batty that the government is always going on and on about child obesity, yet they seem to go out of their way to make it difficult for children to be able to walk around or ride their bikes.

The issue in the UK is that not everyone has driveways, especially in old Victorian terraced streets. Streets can be narrow and people double park on the streets, it means children may be crossing roads between parked cars which is a nightmare- when I'm crossing over on the school run I literally have to keep my arms out so the kids stay behind me and walk into the middle if the road to check its clear before crossing them over, its a nightmare. Our schools dont have car parks so people park where ever they want, on pavements, zig zag lines, double lines etc. It definitely wouldn't be safe for kids to cross alone.

Yes. I can imagine that's difficult. Whereas here, there are pedestrian and bike paths everywhere, and streetlights at crossings.

 

[Witchrose]

People actually leave 5 year olds alone? :0

As long as they are well-behaved ( I doubt any parent does if they have a child who is getting into things they shouldn't), there is very little that can happen to them. Additionally, we live in a time of cellphones.. .

Statistically, their lives are at their greatest danger whenever they are put into a car. But parents do that all the time, and no one freaks out.

 

[Natsku]

Exactly. It's more dangerous to take your child along with you in the car to the shop than leave them alone, but you need to balance that danger out with other things like if they would be scared alone, or you know that they would do something silly and dangerous.

The cars on the road thing is so different here too, I doubt I'd let Maria out and about by herself at this age in the UK because traffic is so different there, much more cars on the road.

 

[lau86]

To be honest I imagine my 6 yr old would be absolutely fine for me to pop out for 10 minutes or so, if given instructions on how to behave. I wouldn't do it but only because I know I would get in trouble not because I think something would happen to him

 

[LoraLoo]

To be honest I imagine my 6 yr old would be absolutely fine for me to pop out for 10 minutes or so, if given instructions on how to behave. I wouldn't do it but only because I know I would get in trouble not because I think something would happen to him

What about if there was a fire or something?

 

[lau86]

To be honest I imagine my 6 yr old would be absolutely fine for me to pop out for 10 minutes or so, if given instructions on how to behave. I wouldn't do it but only because I know I would get in trouble not because I think something would happen to him

What about if there was a fire or something?

If there was a fire that would be an absolute disaster but how would a fire start? We are non smokers and wouldn't leave oven/ hob/ tumble dryer on. I guess when I said he would be ok I meant he wouldn't do anything stupid, I don't know what the risks of fire are but I imagine it's pretty minimal.

 

[LoraLoo]

To be honest I imagine my 6 yr old would be absolutely fine for me to pop out for 10 minutes or so, if given instructions on how to behave. I wouldn't do it but only because I know I would get in trouble not because I think something would happen to him

What about if there was a fire or something?

If there was a fire that would be an absolute disaster but how would a fire start? We are non smokers and wouldn't leave oven/ hob/ tumble dryer on. I guess when I said he would be ok I meant he wouldn't do anything stupid, I don't know what the risks of fire are but I imagine it's pretty minimal.

Electrical fault? On Tuesday my friends fridge freezer exploded... blew the whole back off 😳 luckily none of them were in the house and he has a 2 yr old. Doesn't bear thinking about.
I just dont think 5-6 year olds would be able to react in emergency situations. I know the original post was about nipping to the shop quickly but it's clear others do leave them longer too and I find that quite concerning.

 

[lau86]

that does sound awful and very scary! Though I do think it must be extremely rare for something like that to happen. I would need to talk to him about what to do in an emergency for when the time comes. There's no need for me to leave him now as with having the other two they definitely wouldn't be old enough anyway

 

[Zephram]

To be honest I imagine my 6 yr old would be absolutely fine for me to pop out for 10 minutes or so, if given instructions on how to behave. I wouldn't do it but only because I know I would get in trouble not because I think something would happen to him

What about if there was a fire or something?

If there was a fire that would be an absolute disaster but how would a fire start? We are non smokers and wouldn't leave oven/ hob/ tumble dryer on. I guess when I said he would be ok I meant he wouldn't do anything stupid, I don't know what the risks of fire are but I imagine it's pretty minimal.

The thing is, a 6 year old doesn’t actually entirely know what is stupid and what isn’t. They might be a sensible kid, but they still don’t have the experience or judgement to actually make the right call in many situations.

I have a 5 year old and he is also what I’d call a sensible kid, but there’s no way in hell I’d leave him alone for years to come. He’s my responsibility and it’s not a big hassle for him to come to come to the shops with me to pick up one little thing we need for dinner. Better he comes than stays home alone and has an accident or gets hurt somehow because I found it too much bother to take him.