Nipping To The Shop

[lau86]

Yes as I said this is all completely hypothetical and not something I would do either, doesn't matter why. I know for a fact if I told him to sit and watch the tv for ten minutes while I popped out he would. As for other events like fires, that is something rare but definitely something to consider. Part of the problem is kids today are not given enough credit, as someone else has said in their culture 6 yr olds go and get the train alone- they are obviously capable of doing this is taught properly

 

[Natsku]

The chance of a fire happening while you are out are very small, bigger chance of you getting into a car accident driving to the shop. If you're making decisions based purely on risk alone then makes more sense to leave child home.

 

[LoraLoo]

The chance of a fire happening while you are out are very small, bigger chance of you getting into a car accident driving to the shop. If you're making decisions based purely on risk alone then makes more sense to leave child home.

Yes id agree with that, but that was one example. There's also chance of the child becoming lonely, afraid, upset, falling over, cuting themselves, choking, becoming sick, wandering off etc. And a pp has given an example of where 5 and 6 year olds are left all day, not just nipping to the shop quickly.

 

[LoraLoo]

Yes as I said this is all completely hypothetical and not something I would do either, doesn't matter why. I know for a fact if I told him to sit and watch the tv for ten minutes while I popped out he would. As for other events like fires, that is something rare but definitely something to consider. Part of the problem is kids today are not given enough credit, as someone else has said in their culture 6 yr olds go and get the train alone- they are obviously capable of doing this is taught properly

Some 6 year olds may be capable, but how many stories do you hear of kids being knocked down? Lots sadly, so id question how many ARE capable compared to how many have just been lucky. Theres absolutely no chance id allow my 6 year old to get a train alone.

 

[JessyG]

I have a fairly sensible 4 year old. She is 5 in August. Not a chance in hell i'd leave her alone in the house to nip to the shops. I am thinking 12, ie when she starts high school.

 

[Bevziibubble]

I've never left mine alone in the house yet but they're only 6 and 2. It will be a few more years at least yet.

ETA : my daughter does play out on her own with her friends and has done for a while now. She is very sensible and streetwise for her age and it's a close community, we all know each other and look out for one another and their kids, constantly in and out of each others houses. If we go out she knows she has to come with, I wouldn't go out and leave her alone.

 

[Natsku]

The chance of a fire happening while you are out are very small, bigger chance of you getting into a car accident driving to the shop. If you're making decisions based purely on risk alone then makes more sense to leave child home.

Yes id agree with that, but that was one example. There's also chance of the child becoming lonely, afraid, upset, falling over, cuting themselves, choking, becoming sick, wandering off etc. And a pp has given an example of where 5 and 6 year olds are left all day, not just nipping to the shop quickly.

Yeah like I said in a previous post, it's not a decision to be made on risk alone but other factors like if your child would be scared etc. Leaving them all day is not fair on them - here they recommend no longer than an hour and a half for 7 year olds, that's about the limit of what they can handle.

 

[aimee_1691]

In that case why does anyone pay for childcare, we should just leave them at home with their lunches ore made because taking them
In the car to nursery is far more riskier! This is ridiculous! My honest opinion is if you are prepared to leave a 5 year old alone then you shouldn’t be a parent! Absolutely despicable!!

 

[Natsku]

Erm because leaving them all day is not fair to them, nor good for their development. Leaving for 5-10 minutes is another matter (though I wouldn't at 5 years old - there was a big difference in maturity between 5 and 6 I noticed with Maria)

 

[Witchrose]

The chance of a fire happening while you are out are very small, bigger chance of you getting into a car accident driving to the shop. If you're making decisions based purely on risk alone then makes more sense to leave child home.

Yes id agree with that, but that was one example. There's also chance of the child becoming lonely, afraid, upset, falling over, cuting themselves, choking, becoming sick, wandering off etc. And a pp has given an example of where 5 and 6 year olds are left all day, not just nipping to the shop quickly.

Perhaps you misread one of my posts, but I never said five and six year olds were left alone all day. And unless I missed a post, neither did anyone else.

 

[Witchrose]

In that case why does anyone pay for childcare, we should just leave them at home with their lunches ore made because taking them
In the car to nursery is far more riskier! This is ridiculous! My honest opinion is if you are prepared to leave a 5 year old alone then you shouldn’t be a parent! Absolutely despicable!!

You have the right to your opinion, but I have a feeling it is so visceral because you live in a place where such things are atypical. If you lived in a different place, with different daily norms, you wouldn't think anything of it.

Actually, I was a bit taken aback when I moved here and saw such small kids out by themselves (and this isn't just a few kids here and there. it's the way the whole city is: kids taking the bus/subway, walking, riding their bikes). I wasn't used to seeing that. But over time, I got used to it. And now I also see all the fantastic benefits of the attitude/way of life here.

Because parents aren't constantly hovering, and don't have to shepherd their kids back and forth to every which place, they have more time to themselves. So they are much more relaxed and calm. I hardly ever hear a parent yelling around here. The kids, by and large, are very well-behaved. Every so often, I'll hear a child cry, but nothing like the kind of tantrums I used to see all the time back in the States. Because they are trusted and taught responsibility, they act more mature. And also, because they are allowed to go out and really play freely, they don't have all that pent up energy inside of them.

So since I see, every day, kids getting around just fine by themselves in a major, European metropolitan city, I see no reason why (generally speaking) a kid of a similar age can't handle ten minutes or so alone if their parent runs to the store or whatever.

Obviously no parent should do something they feel uncomfortable about, or don't feel their child is ready for. But another parent letting their child do something at an earlier age than *you* would, in no way means they are these terrible, neglectful parents. It's a big world with places that have very different views on child raising then the US/UK and the children do just great.

 

[Natasha2605]

The chance of a fire happening while you are out are very small, bigger chance of you getting into a car accident driving to the shop. If you're making decisions based purely on risk alone then makes more sense to leave child home.

Yes id agree with that, but that was one example. There's also chance of the child becoming lonely, afraid, upset, falling over, cuting themselves, choking, becoming sick, wandering off etc. And a pp has given an example of where 5 and 6 year olds are left all day, not just nipping to the shop quickly.

Perhaps you misread one of my posts, but I never said five and six year olds were left alone all day. And unless I missed a post, neither did anyone else.

Probably my post. It does happen with some kids around my way. Some people do. One in particular last summer put her 5 year old in the park behind my house mid morning and came back around dinner time. She checked on her once on her way back from Asda

That IS bad parenting though.

I think a lot of this has been blown out of proportion though. On an average day, in an average house nothing is likely to happen if you have popped out for ten minutes leaving your sensible 6/7/8 year olds. I know my own children - my two literally sit in the same spot till I’m back. If my kids were the sort to take advantage and mess about or I felt there was potential for accident they no way would I leave them.

Same if I took them eith me. On an average day nothing is likely to happen.

 

[LoraLoo]

Sorry I've firgotten how to multi quote but yes it was Natashas.


"Probably a location thing too. I know of plenty parents around here that leave their 5/6 year olds playing out in the street whilst they go about their business (shops/errands) etc for hours on end with no thought of what their kids could be doing. Crazy. And admittedly the kids are wild."

People do leave their children because currently in the UK there is no law where it states that chikdren should not be left alone. However, it is illegal if you put a child at risk. The nspcc sites advice is -

Our advice on leaving a child at home

Babies, toddlers and very young children should never be left alone
Children under the age of 12 are rarely mature enough to cope in an emergency and should not be left at home alone for a long period of time
Children under the age of 16 should not be left alone overnight
Parents and carers can be prosecuted for neglect if it is judged that they placed a child at risk by leaving them at home alone
A child should never be left at home alone if they do not feel comfortable with this, regardless of their age
If a child has additional needs, these should be considered when leaving them at home alone or with an older sibling
When leaving a younger child with an older sibling think about what may happen if they were to have a falling out - would they both be safe?

That’s not to say that there are no laws on leaving children home alone. Under the Children and Young Persons (England and Wales) Act 1933, the Children and Young Persons (Scotland) Act 1937 and the Children and Young Persons (Northern Ireland) Act 1968, parents and carers can be prosecuted for neglect. This means that they can be fined or sent to prison if they are judged to have placed a child at risk of harm by leaving them at home alone, regardless of where in the UK the child lives.

There might not be a specific legal age to leave children alone but it’s safe to say babies, toddlers and young children should never be left alone, even if it’s just while you pop down the road. Even if they’re sleeping peacefully when you leave they could well wake up and get very upset when you’re not there to look after them. They would not be able to protect themselves in an emergency and may even try to leave the property to find you.

leaving a child home alone
No one knows your child quite as well as you do – so use your knowledge of what they’re really like to answer these questions. This won’t give you a definite answer about whether the time is right to leave your child alone at home, but it’ll certainly give you plenty to think about.



Does your child seem to be responsible and mature for their age and always do what you tell him or her?
Would they be able to fix themselves something to eat and drink and would you be happy with them using the cooker or microwave?
Can you imagine how they’d cope in an emergency like a power cut or a flooded bathroom?
Would they know what to do if the phone rang or someone came to the door?
Would they know how to contact you or another family member or friend if they needed to? Do they have these contact numbers to hand?
How would they feel about being left alone – pleased to be given the responsibility or scared by the thought of it?

 

[Natasha2605]

^^ I think a lot of that surely applies to lengthier times - a trip to the supermarket maybe? I can literally be at the corner shop and home again in five minutes. Unlikely there would be a power cut or a flood (as per those questions above) in that time and if so, I’d deal with it once home.

Chills me the idea of leaving them whilst I go for longer than ten minutes. That’s when the “what ifs” would bother me and creep in.

 

[LoraLoo]

^^ I think a lot of that surely applies to lengthier times - a trip to the supermarket maybe? I can literally be at the corner shop and home again in five minutes. Unlikely there would be a power cut or a flood (as per those questions above) in that time and if so, I’d deal with it once home.

Chills me the idea of leaving them whilst I go for longer than ten minutes. That’s when the “what ifs” would bother me and creep in.

It says very young children should never be left along for any periods so i think it's how you interperate it. Personally very young to me would probably be 8 and under but others will have different opinions on that...

Maybe it's because of my experiences but im very aware of how quickly situations can change and go from being ok to anything but ok, even when statistically everything should be ok.

A couple of weeks ago my 6 yr old was playing ball with the dog and the dog jumped for the ball and caught his face. He was hysterical and I hate the thought of him bring on his own in a situation like that (he did need a butterfly stitch and antibiotics)...i appreciate him being on his own would not have made a difference to the situation or him needing hospital, but the thought If him being alone when needing comforting/medical treatment is upsetting.

There's so many scenarios I can think of that could happen in 10 mins but i fully admit im an over thinker and suffer anxiety when it comes to the children's health, safety and well being.

 

[Natasha2605]

Sorry I don’t want to quote you as it ends up taking up so much of the page!

To me, “very young” is 5 and under. At 8 my girls can come home from school alone (according to the school).

As in your example about the dog, I’d also hate to not be there if something requiring medical attention were to happen. As it were, we don’t have any pets and when I say my girls literally would not even look up from their tablets in ten minutes I fully believe that.

It’s interesting hearing everyone’s opinions and how the “norm” differs from place to place.

 

[aimee_1691]

In that case why does anyone pay for childcare, we should just leave them at home with their lunches ore made because taking them
In the car to nursery is far more riskier! This is ridiculous! My honest opinion is if you are prepared to leave a 5 year old alone then you shouldn’t be a parent! Absolutely despicable!!

You have the right to your opinion, but I have a feeling it is so visceral because you live in a place where such things are atypical. If you lived in a different place, with different daily norms, you wouldn't think anything of it.

Actually, I was a bit taken aback when I moved here and saw such small kids out by themselves (and this isn't just a few kids here and there. it's the way the whole city is: kids taking the bus/subway, walking, riding their bikes). I wasn't used to seeing that. But over time, I got used to it. And now I also see all the fantastic benefits of the attitude/way of life here.

Because parents aren't constantly hovering, and don't have to shepherd their kids back and forth to every which place, they have more time to themselves. So they are much more relaxed and calm. I hardly ever hear a parent yelling around here. The kids, by and large, are very well-behaved. Every so often, I'll hear a child cry, but nothing like the kind of tantrums I used to see all the time back in the States. Because they are trusted and taught responsibility, they act more mature. And also, because they are allowed to go out and really play freely, they don't have all that pent up energy inside of them.

So since I see, every day, kids getting around just fine by themselves in a major, European metropolitan city, I see no reason why (generally speaking) a kid of a similar age can't handle ten minutes or so alone if their parent runs to the store or whatever.

Obviously no parent should do something they feel uncomfortable about, or don't feel their child is ready for. But another parent letting their child do something at an earlier age than *you* would, in no way means they are these terrible, neglectful parents. It's a big world with places that have very different views on child raising then the US/UK and the children do just great.

More than likely!
It is just absolutely crazy to
Me. I didn’t think to check the locations of other posters but I live in Birmingham,England. 2nd biggest city in this country and I would be very concerned if I knew anybody here was leaving a child (under 10) alone for any amount of time. And I do understand that it’s not always age but more attitude and maturity when it comes to trusting them but also it’s not just the child, it’s what other people can do and also the risk of freak accidents.

 

[morri]

Here the law says on your own judgement you can leave a 5 year old alone for 15 to 30 min (at home or for example on a playground, and from 7 years old up to 2 hours. thats also school age here(7) nd kids usually walk to school by themselves here.
I have left my kid at home on occasion for nipping to the shop(in this case a kiosk thats 200m from our place so it really does only take ten minutes. )
(https://www.test.de/Aufsichtspflicht-Kinder-allein-lassen-was-ist-wann-erlaubt-5005671-0/) if you want to mince it though an translation engine in case you dont believe me)

I went to the shops by myselfjust buying milk or bread) for my mom when I was 6 years old. and when I was at school I had my own set of keys so that I could get in when she wasnt back from work yet which is usallly 1 -2 hours .

 

[Natsku]

I'm just browsing some Finnish parenting forums on this subject and came across one person asking if it would be ok to leave a 4 year old home alone asleep while parents go for a walk/go to the neighbours/go to the shop, and that they already leave them alone awake for 15-20 minutes to go to the shop - now that's too early to me! Relieving to read the responses say that's too young, and saying that preschool (Maria's age) is the right age to start leaving alone.

Quite different I think Loraloo when there's a dog involved - I wouldn't leave a child under at least 10 I think alone at home with a dog as dogs are just too unpredictable.

 

[minties]

My worry is the "what if". Sure, there is a chance if crashing your car if you take your children with you, but with the slow speeds around town and the advances in carseat technologies and rearfacing etc, very unlikely my kids would be hurt at all. Emma will be rearfacing to at least 4, in the rear middle seat of a large sedan. Very safe.

But what if someone came to to the door while you were gone? What if that person was harmless, but frightened my kids, they ran outside to find me and either got lost or hit by a car or something? What if your male friend/relative/uncle was secretly grooming your kid and knew you left them alone frequently and took advantage? OK so not likely...but the thought would run through my mind.

But then in my own childhood, I was out riding my bike all over the place by myself by age 7. My other half walked to school and back by himself from 5 and no one was at home when he got back till his parents got home from work. I took plane rides by myself at 6.

I think the kids would probably be fine in front of a movie and would hardly notice I was gone, but the what-ifs would drive me crazy.