NMA or reality?

[dachsundmom]

One of each?

 

[Jodes2011]

i'll have whatever i'm given x

 

[Indigo77]

Ditto

 

[readyformore]

Well, if I have the option to special order my family...........

One at a time. 2 more kids. Conceive this month. Next baby to follow will be 2 years younger and I won't have to ttc at all. I will conceive without having had a period due to breastfeeding. And, I won't even know I'm pregnant until I feel it move!

At least one of the next two kids will be a girl, so that my DD will have a sister (because I don't have one and really feel that I missed out on something. My friend tells me I am glamorizing the relationship. I'm not so sure).

 

[readyformore]

Oh, Indigo should get one of each, Dmom 2 boys, and Jodes 2 girls!

That way, the kids all have a buddy, and the moms get the experience of raising each gender.

 

[dachsundmom]

One more is it for me....

 

[readyformore]

I was talking twins for everyone but me!

 

[dachsundmom]

I was talking twins for everyone but me!

Ummmm....add me to your list, lol

 

[AnnaLaura]

Which is it?
Is it pessimism when I think that another baby might not be in the picture?
Or am I being realistic?

I certaintly never thought that when I decided to ttc, I would come out on the other end without another pregnancy.

Why don't we ever mention that we might not have these babies that we want so much? Are we afraid to talk about it?

It's a cold hard fact, but nobody seems to bring it up. We talk about the disappointment of the monthly AF, but not the bleak truth, that it may never happen. Even my RE said to me when I was only 24, "The success rate for IUI is 15-20%. That means that for most people, they won't get pregnant." I was shocked, then so appreciative of the truth. I feel it can keep me grounded.

I recognize that it might not happen for me. Frankly, I'm tired of acting like we are all going to get what we want. That's not to say that I'm full of PMA, we know that I am not.

I just feel like we are side-stepping the reality. . . . .that it might not happen.

Maybe I am just a hater of false hope.


(This is posted after reading several of my subscribed threads where the previous posters are now pregnant.)

(My situation is not like some of you who have been waiting and trying for a long time.)

I, too, appreciate the truth. I know that it may not happen for me. And I think I'm honest with myself in saying that it's really my own fault for waiting so long. My attitude bounces up and down constantly. One day I allow myself to believe and the next day (or the next hour) I'm telling myself all the benefits of being childless.

And it's been fine. We have a good life. I'm a professional although I'm not working right now, my husband has his own business, and we have many activities and hobbies we enjoy. I'm a writer. But one day last year I woke up and it was like, 41!!! 41!!!! 41!!! I'm 41!!! What happened to the time? How did I get here??

I don't mind saying or thinking that I may never have a child. I've accepted that. But I want to at least try.

 

[Indigo77]

Good for you, Anna!

 

[readyformore]

I hope it happens quickly for you Anna.
You certaintly have a good attitude on your side!

I feel a little more negative just due to the amount of time I've been ttc. Which isn't really that long. But, when absolutely nothing is wrong with either my partner or myself, and we haven't missed a single fertile phase in the past 16 months, I have to face that fact that it might not happen for us at all.

Like everyone else has said, I do hold out hope for other people; just not myself.
Sometimes, I wonder if I have used up all of my good luck. I think it's run out.

 

[AnnaLaura]

I hope it happens quickly for you Anna.
You certaintly have a good attitude on your side!

I feel a little more negative just due to the amount of time I've been ttc. Which isn't really that long. But, when absolutely nothing is wrong with either my partner or myself, and we haven't missed a single fertile phase in the past 16 months, I have to face that fact that it might not happen for us at all.

Like everyone else has said, I do hold out hope for other people; just not myself.
Sometimes, I wonder if I have used up all of my good luck. I think it's run out.

Well, we'll see tomorrow about the attitude.

I can only imagine how it would feel to wait so long. We have used no protection for over a year (and nothing) but haven't hit every fertile phase like you have. Now I am waiting on CD1 to really start trying. So we'll see. But it hits me randomly. As if I've just arrived at the airport and I realize I left the coffee pot on back home, this horrible little sinking feeling in my stomach and heat behind my ears.

I don't know...I don't really believe in luck. Chance, yes. Coincidence, yes. I always picture someone walking along with a bowl of M&Ms, and he trips and the M&Ms just fly everywhere. So why not me or you?

 

[readyformore]

I hope it happens quickly for you Anna.
You certaintly have a good attitude on your side!

I feel a little more negative just due to the amount of time I've been ttc. Which isn't really that long. But, when absolutely nothing is wrong with either my partner or myself, and we haven't missed a single fertile phase in the past 16 months, I have to face that fact that it might not happen for us at all.

Like everyone else has said, I do hold out hope for other people; just not myself.
Sometimes, I wonder if I have used up all of my good luck. I think it's run out.

Well, we'll see tomorrow about the attitude.

I can only imagine how it would feel to wait so long. We have used no protection for over a year (and nothing) but haven't hit every fertile phase like you have. Now I am waiting on CD1 to really start trying. So we'll see. But it hits me randomly. As if I've just arrived at the airport and I realize I left the coffee pot on back home, this horrible little sinking feeling in my stomach and heat behind my ears.

I don't know...I don't really believe in luck. Chance, yes. Coincidence, yes. I always picture someone walking along with a bowl of M&Ms, and he trips and the M&Ms just fly everywhere. So why not me or you?

I guess that if you get hit with the M&Ms then, you're lucky, lol. That's what I mean. It seems I keep missing that damn bowl!!

I do not believe in fate or destiny at all. Chance and coincidence yes.

 

[sadie]

I think maybe we don´t talk about the possibility that it might not work out on here because we are all very gentle with one another. And so we should be, we only get a fraction of the story on here and don´t know enough to judge really. we also don´t know how fragile another person is and telling them give up no hope may be too much for them to bare. We all have enough people telling us it isn´t a good idea at our age, doctors, media, specialists, so we come on here for support. I have times when my PMA has run out and times when I can´t imagine ever holding my little one, but I can´t yet talk about what if with regards to never. I hope I never have to.

I dont think we hold back thoughts because we feel the need to be gentle and/or walk on eggshells... We hold back moreso because there is no need to repeat what we already know.... That its a difficult road for us, the chances arent so high, that it just might not happen at all or again. No need to rub that in someone's face when theyre trying to be positive and hopeful. Underneath, we feel the pain and frustration and are just trying to not have to face it. Having someone jump in on a post and say something negative is almost nasty.

For me, I always thought I would have no trouble getting preg. So here I am age 41 and FINALLY ready to have a baby. A cute, adorable cuddly baby that I just want to kiss and smell. But who knows. My age doesnt help at all, and Im looking to IUI and IVF to speed the process bc I am not getting any younger!!

 

[Indigo77]

No need to rub that in someone's face when theyre trying to be positive and hopeful.

Underneath, we feel the pain and frustration and are just trying to not have to face it.

Having someone jump in on a post and say something negative is almost nasty.

 

[AnnaLaura]

I dont think we hold back thoughts because we feel the need to be gentle and/or walk on eggshells... We hold back moreso because there is no need to repeat what we already know.... That its a difficult road for us, the chances arent so high, that it just might not happen at all or again. No need to rub that in someone's face when theyre trying to be positive and hopeful. Underneath, we feel the pain and frustration and are just trying to not have to face it. Having someone jump in on a post and say something negative is almost nasty.

For me, I always thought I would have no trouble getting preg. So here I am age 41 and FINALLY ready to have a baby. A cute, adorable cuddly baby that I just want to kiss and smell. But who knows. My age doesnt help at all, and Im looking to IUI and IVF to speed the process bc I am not getting any younger!!

It can happen, and it does happen. So why shoot the hopeful person down? I think most everyone here knows there are other considerations in this age group or everyone would just post on the "regular" TTC board.

About being finally ready, Sadie, you sound like me and my DH. If this isn't too personal, do you think you will really go straight to IUI or IVF? I'm seeing my gynecologist tomorrow or Wednesday and have been thinking about asking him if I should just go ahead and try Clomid.

 

[AnnaLaura]

I guess that if you get hit with the M&Ms then, you're lucky, lol. That's what I mean. It seems I keep missing that damn bowl!!

I do not believe in fate or destiny at all. Chance and coincidence yes.

Let's hope (there's that word again!) that we are standing in the right place!

My husband is the one that's big on PMA. He believes strongly in "νούς υγιής εν σώματι υγιεί" which sort of means, as is the mind, is the body. He also believes in some kind of a domino theory of events, that everything is connected and nothing is just a weird, random event. But he's an engineer so he thinks everything can be figured out. Today I was having a tiny little minor breakdown about my still-absent period and he told me, "How can we expect to get pregnant if you are so stressed out?"

 

[sadie]

Hi anna. We went tstraight to clomid for the summer and did an IUI in september to try tohelp things along. We dont live in the same country so timing things has been very difficult. Another IUi in october and then IVF in January is the plan, simply because we cant seem to meetwhen im ovulating. Bummer.

 

[readyformore]

"How can we expect to get pregnant if you are so stressed out?"

Your husband and I? We would have a few words to say to each other.

Does it upset you when he says that? I think I would throw a frying pan or something at my DH if those words came out of his mouth.

 

[AnnaLaura]

"How can we expect to get pregnant if you are so stressed out?"

Your husband and I? We would have a few words to say to each other.

Does it upset you when he says that? I think I would throw a frying pan or something at my DH if those words came out of his mouth.

I didn't take it in a bad way. Actually I have been extremely stressed out.