no one to talk to

[scared girl]

Its been 4w5d since I lost my baby at 16w2d, I just don't feel the same although me and my partner knew I was pregnant we hadn't told anyone as we were both scared about becoming parents. We've been together nearly 2 years. I had a natural miscarriage on the 30th December I had to be rushed in hospital and put on morphine as I couldn't handle the pain unfortunately my partner was working 2hrs away but rushed straight home the hosital didn't make me feel any better about what was happening they didn't tell Me about what was happening, after I had lost the baby I was given a internal exam to which half hour later a doctor returned and said I had to have another as the first woman didn't have authourity to send me home (no reason fr her to do it then) after going home and returning to the hospital a couple of times I felt totally alone like I couldn't take to anyone my partner is completely over it. Like its never happened he doesn't see why I'm upset as we never saw the baby (they took it sway straight away) and I had never felt it move I guess he just didn't see it as a real life baby .

Sorry for the essay just needed to off load xxxx

 

[Andypanda6570]

I am so deeply sorry for your loss. You matter and so does your baby, remember that. Men sometimes just don't understand, they didn't carry this life they don't understand what an impact a loss has on us . Nobody understands so it is hard to talk to anyone. I lost my Ava at 22 weeks, I gave birth to her in my home, I was 40 yrs old when I got pregnant with her by accident, she was my beautiful surprise. I already had 3 boys 21, 19 and 12 so Ava was so wanted and so loved. We buried her on 3-11-2011 and I am still not over her and I never will be, the pain does get better , but you are never the same again. I will miss her till the day I die. Please don't feel alone you are not, people here care and will help you through it. I promise things do get better but it takes time , I wish there was someone you could talk to about this. Is there any support groups in your area? It is so hard to go through this alone, everyone thinks you just get over it and move on, I wish to God it was that easy. I am here if you ever need a friend or just want to talk. So sorry for your loss. Andrea XOoooXO

 

[scared girl]

Thankyou so much for replying you've helped me feel like I'm not alone and I'm not sure if there are support groups as I've notreally looked for me it is easier to write how I feel rather than to talk face to face I get a little embarrassed and unsure (if that makes sense) My pregnancy wad not planned either and was a huge shock as we used contraception and as in 19 n he's 23 it wasn't part of our plans were currently getting a mortgage so would of been hard to afford both, but a termination was out of the question so I was begining to enjoy my pregnancy even the ms as crazy as that sounds its nice to have someone to talk to as I'm surrounding by ppl with babys who don't understand xx

 

[Andypanda6570]

My Sister In Law also has 3 boys and got pregnant after me even though she said she wanted no more, I guess she saw I had a girl so she tried. I did pull away from her when she was in her 6 month I just couldn't take looking at her belly no more Well she gave birth to her daughter and i was ready to go to the hospital, I had the gift and everything. Then when my son came home he told me she named the baby the same name as my angel? My husband and I were in complete shock, she didn't even ask us , nothing. It has been almost 8 weeks and we are not talking to them, this has caused a big family problem, there are thousands of names why did she have to go and do this to us? She was at my baby's funeral she saw my pain and she goes and knocks me down again? I know what it feels like to not have anybody, I just thank God my husband defended me to his parents and stood with me through this. She has brought so much pain into my life and I will never forgive her for this, never and now 8 weeks later not even an apology or a phone call? She can go to hell as far as I am concerned. I agree sometimes it is better to write things down, but it is also good to be able to talk to women who know how you feel, so you know all these emotions are normal and you are normal. XOXOOXX

 

[scared girl]

that's awful so inconsiderate and uncaring I'm so sorry that she could be that heartless to you without even asking if it would upset you, I guess people who haven't been through it don't really understand the hurt that it causes, I understand what u mean about distancing ur self I have 2 sisters who both have little boys one which is currently staying with us and 2best friendswho have 1year olds and a best friend who is due with my god child in a month its hard to get excited with them about there children but non of them know about my loss so just think I'm being off with them I used to have my youngest nephew a few times a week to help my sister out n I stopped but my partner said I can't do that to my nephew as he's missing out on thetime we used to spend together and I guess he's kind of right xxxx

 

[jem77]

My Sister In Law also has 3 boys and got pregnant after me even though she said she wanted no more, I guess she saw I had a girl so she tried. I did pull away from her when she was in her 6 month I just couldn't take looking at her belly no more Well she gave birth to her daughter and i was ready to go to the hospital, I had the gift and everything. Then when my son came home he told me she named the baby the same name as my angel? My husband and I were in complete shock, she didn't even ask us , nothing. It has been almost 8 weeks and we are not talking to them, this has caused a big family problem, there are thousands of names why did she have to go and do this to us? She was at my baby's funeral she saw my pain and she goes and knocks me down again? I know what it feels like to not have anybody, I just thank God my husband defended me to his parents and stood with me through this. She has brought so much pain into my life and I will never forgive her for this, never and now 8 weeks later not even an apology or a phone call? She can go to hell as far as I am concerned. I agree sometimes it is better to write things down, but it is also good to be able to talk to women who know how you feel, so you know all these emotions are normal and you are normal. XOXOOXX

WOW! That is horrible! I can't believe they would do something so heartless.
The pain of losing a baby is like no other pain in the world. I really wish people could understand that and be more caring!
Sorry for your losses, ladies. People keep telling me, God has bigger plans.... I sure hope they are right. I want another baby so bad. And I want the pain to go away!

 

[Maxparedesmom]

I'm so sorry for what happend to u .. Doctors can he really dumb thb . And I'm sorry ur husband doesn't understand . It is hard for them cuz they don't feel the baby and really get to bond as we do as the mother . Ur not alone . And u can talk to me about anyrhing u would like to . I'm here .

 

[gnomette]

hi firstly i wanted to say sorry for your loss xx
an feeling really alone is normal cause its not often you come across someone who has been through what we have been through xx
things to get better but it is tiny steps that we take but we do get better at dealing with it we never get over it is just easier to live with xx
an as for your oh i doubt very much he is over it or that he really feels like it never happened xx men are funny creatures they hide it all away cause they think they have to be the strong ones an that they need to be there for you but at some point he will talk it may take a wile but he will it just takes a wile for things to sink in is all xx just keep talking to him an things will be ok xx
xsending massive hugsx

 

[daisyr21]

I'm sorry for your loss. I think after something like this we are never going to be the same, ever again. We might be a little sadder, maybe lonelier but you also have to remember that with time you will also be a little stronger and braver. Your partner will never see it the same way since you were the person who has one in the same with the baby.