No reasurance until baby born safetly

[kipperc]

i first got pregnant in april 09 was so excited because ive always had it in my head i will never get pregnant, my baby stopped deveolping at 9 weeks but didnt find out tilll i was nearly 11, me and my partner waited 6 months before trying again and i got pregnant really fast in feb 10 i was nervous but we passed the 12 weeks with bits of bleeding no major problems, we was over joyed to find out at 17 weeks we was having a boy everything was fine no problems, then when i was 25 weeks pregnant i was in really bad pain thinking i was just really constipated i was on the toilet when there was a big gush i thought my waters had broken but when i stood up i was covered in blood, an ambulance came and my babys heartbeat was found i relaxed thinking things where ok i was in the best place possible, then when they did a scan i got the worse news ever my whole world fell apart my baby had died my plecenta had abructed and my baby was no longer alive, i had to stay in hospital and gave birth to my beautiful baby boy george on the 7/8/10 at 12.15 pm weighing 1lb 9 ounces. The pain i felt when there was no crying or moving was heartbreaking even now the days are so hard when i wish i could have done things differently even though the doctor as said there was nothing i could do different. me and my partner decided we didnt want to wait to try again so we started trying to get pregnant asap. we got married on the 11/12/10 and the next day found out i was pregnant we are so happy but so scared it really is difficult, i feel i have to relief ive had a loss both early and far on each one scares me i can't relax at all i just wish i could be put to sleep for 9 mths. is anyone else in the same situation or been in the same situation i really need reassurance.
thanks

 

[heva510]

Just wanted to give u a big Hun

 

[Sweet_Mama]

A big hug from me, too, hun.

 

[Sarah&Ady]

i can't relax at all i just wish i could be put to sleep for 9 mths.

This one sentence summed up excatly how I have felt throughout this pregnancy This feel like such a journey... I know I am due to have him next Wednesday but again, like you.... for me there is no peace untill I hold him and he looks back at me...untill I know he is here safe xxxx

 

[hb1]

There's no wonder you feel like this Hope the next 8 months goes by super fast and uneventful

hx

 

[Blondie007]

Hi kipperc. I am so sorry for what you have had to go through but congratulations on your BFP.

I didnt have a late loss like you but I had a MC. I was having spotting continuously from getting a BFP so was having weekly scans. Each scan was getting better and baby was growing but then the last one I had, they gave me the news that the hearbeat was too weak and baby wouldnt make it. I was gutted.

I am pregnant again now and made it to 37 weeks but I can honestly say that I said to my husband that I would like to be put to sleep for 40 weeks while I was pregnant as the worry of everything is overwhelming. I cant have scan without crying (I have had to have loads due to gestational diabetes) and each one scares the life out of me. Thje sonographers know me now so dont keep me in the room any longer than necessary.

I am sad that it has affected me like this but I cant do anything about it.

If I could go back to the beginnning of this pregnancy, I would ask my doctor about seeing a therapist to help me deal with my concerns. It might be worth you doing that?Just to speak to someone who can try to put your mind at rest but also just so you can vent your worries?

Keep posting on here whenever you get scared, it really helped me

Lots of love and hugs your way and also kisses to George xxx

 

[Starry Night]

I'm so sorry for your losses. I had an early loss and I feel the same as you.

 

[Tulip]

I'm sosorry for your losses honey. I lost my darling girl to a fatal condition at 12w and any of the girls here will tell you what a paranoid mess I was for the entirety of my second pregnancy. I decided against my much-wanted homebirth because I was so paranoid something would go wrong.

All I can say is to hold your head high, don't punish yourself for being scared, and come here often for support. Best of luck to you and Floaty new year kisses to your angels xxx

 

[cacahuete]

Hey, I didn't want to read and run, it sounds like you have been through so much, I lost my first at 14 weeks, and then I had a mc at 6.5, i can only imagine how hard it was for you, I'm just preg again now, 6+1, and I can't even bring myself to put a ticker on, or change my status to preg... I'm just trying to tame it every day as I can, and I'm going to try and get a few extra early scans,
I hope 2011 is a great year for you x.

 

[wishiwas]

First, lots of hugs! This has to be so hard for you. I also had a miscarriage (8 weeks) and a still born (37 weeks) and I'm terrified. I know I will not relax for a moment. I have no advice to give being so scared myself, but I wanted you to know that you aren't alone.

 

[kanga]

 

[goddess25]

I am not surprised you feel like this. I have 2 losses but both first trimester and I cannot imagine what it would be like to have experienced a late loss like you. I am sure that this time everything is going to be just fine but I also know that there is nothing that any of us can say here to make it ok for you!