No Santa Claus?

[GingerPanda]

I'm actually currently pregnant with our first child, but I wanted to get some opinions from ladies who have older children. Particularly if you did not do the Santa thing with your kids!

My husband and I are not religious in the least (I'm an atheist, and he describes himself as pagan), so we don't celebrate Christmas. This is a huge change from my family, who are Christmas crazy.

We really do not feel comfortable doing Santa with our daughter or any future children. We'll do presents, but they'll be from us. We won't even have a tree or anything.

When I told my mother she FLIPPED OUT and basically acted like it was borderline child abuse for us to not do Santa. The only reason she could really come up with when I asked her why it bothered her, was that Luci might go to school and tell all the other kids that Santa isn't real. But there will always be some kids saying that at school. We hope to teach our daughter that some kids believe in Santa and God, and she should respect the beliefs of others. But my mom says there's no way that would work.

That said, how did you anti-Santa moms deal with your kids respecting the beliefs of others? Did your kids ever feel like they missed out on the Santa experience, or did they just think it was some weird thing that other people do? I suspect most kids look forward to the holiday for the presents, not Santa. (I was terrified of Santa as a kid!)



Deep down, I suspect this is my mom trying to have as much input and control over the raising of her last grandchild(ren) as possible. She was never so pushy and opinionated with either of my sisters like she is with me. I think it's because she and I differ greatly in opinions on politics and religion, and she acts like she's trying to "save" my daughter from me.

 

[MoonLove]

We aren't doing Santa. My daughter is nearly four and has only really 'understood' last Christmas, the previous ones she was too young.

She met Santa on two occasions on nursery trips at Christmas 2014 and learnt about him there. She had a for presents from the trips, told us they were from Santa. We bought presents, put them under the tree, told her they were from us.

I'm sure she'll have a lot of Santa talk from school when she starts this year, but we won't be going to any grottos or anything. I am glad she can recognize Santa, but we won't be teaching that Santa brings presents. It is just something me and my husband just don't really like. We're not totally prudish about Santa, but I want both of my children to understand that presents are bought and paid for, and for them to know who bought them.

 

[Natsku]

My parents didn't do Santa with us. I never felt like I missed out on anything, and was very happy that they didn't do it. I've taken the middle road with Maria as my OH is quite into all that stuff so do it but just as a fun game and I tell her its just pretend.

 

[Eleanor ace]

My parents didn't "do" Santa and I never felt like I was missing out, I loved Christmas (still do, I bought my first Christmas presents a couple of weeks ago because I'm impatient for Christmas already ) and it felt plenty magical without believing in Father Christmas. I remember a few friends finding out Father Christmas wasn't real and feeling that some of the magic of Christmas was gone after that, because a lot of their excitement was focused on the big guy but I never had that. I never told any of my friends that father Christmas wasn't real, I understood that they believed in him and that that was important to them. I know other people who weren't raised believing in Father Christmas and they all say the same, that when you're a kid you just kind of accept that some people believe/think differently and that it's no big deal, so it never occurred to nay of us to say "you know he's not real, right?". I also don't think it is your responsibility as a parent to teach your LO to believe in something you don't believe you should just to protect what other parents have told their children. We do the whole Father Christmas thing because it is important to DH and t isn't a deal breaker for me. If another child told my LO's Father Christmas isn't real I wouldn't be angry with the parent for not telling their LO he is real to protect what I've told my LO.

 

[GingerPanda]

Thanks so much for the responses, ladies. You've basically confirmed what I was thinking!

My favorite part of the holiday was always presents, family, food, and letting each other know we're loved and appreciated. And we don't need Santa in our house to do that.

 

[Vickie]

From the perspective of someone who does do the Santa thing but has friends with kids who don't do "Santa" it's really not as big of a deal as your mom is making it out to be. Hannah's best friend in the world doesn't celebrate Christmas though they usually come and have Christmas dinner with us. I simply tell my kids that you have to believe in Santa for him to come and if you don't he doesn't come. And that different people believe different things and it's okay if someone doesn't believe in what we do.

 

[GingerPanda]

Thanks for the perspective from the other side!

 

[Pearls18]

We do Santa as it was such a magical part of my childhood I love replicating it, I personally couldn't imagine childhood without Santa (but I don't think it's child abuse if you don't do it!!!!) but if you do a search and put either Santa or Father Christmas and tick "titles" there was a very lengthy debate on this subject matter sometime last year with people on both ends of the spectrum you might find interesting to read

 

[Dragonfly]

I am Pagan and we celebrate Yule. We have a Yule tree, gifts and a meal. No Christian side of it in our house. As its a pagan sabbat anyway. We do let relatives do the Santa thing but I cannot have the black mailing to behave when they dont misbehave for gifts.

 

[SarahBear]

We didn't do Santa when I was a kid and both my sisters and I don't like Santa as a tradition. I'm the only one with kids so far and we don't do Santa. I'm going to take the approach of telling the sorry of Santa and saying that people like to pretend it's real. I remember as a kid having friends over who believed in Santa and, coached by my mom, pretending to believeas well... And coming up with an excuse for already having presents under the tree, haha! We didn't feel we missed out and we didn't regret not doing Santa.

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

We dont make much a deal of santa. They know the story of Santa and they know ones in Grottos are not real. They know the magic of christmas and on Christmas eve they say santas coming but they dont really believe it lol just tradition. We only say Santa brings 1 thing and they say thank you ot everyone else for their gifts x

 

[Tasha]

We do the Santa thing, we even flew to Lapland so big on it. However we live in London and so the children are at a school that has so many faiths and beliefs, it's never been as issue though. I've had my oldest tell me that many of his friends don't believe but he does, he gets that we just all believe in different things. On the other hand we aren't religious but all three of mine know to respect other people's beliefs and wouldn't dream of telling them that God (or who ever) isn't real, I'm sure you will bring your LO up to respect that too.

 

[mafa]

I think, that celebrating of Christmas without Santa is better. I don't want to say false my children.

 

[morri]

we dont do santa eirher. i do the winter solstice instead.