Normal to feel so broody?

[stepmum]

Hi everyone, is it normal to feel so broody so early on, my little one is 9 weeks old now, he is just past what would have been his due date and I am soooo broody already, even the sleepless nights aren't putting me off. I miss being pregnant but I don't know if thats because I don't feel like I had a full pregnancy (obviously because like all of us ladies, I didn't), I would have loved to have moaned about my swollen feet and had days where my hubby ran around after me but I never got to that stage, I feel robbed.

I want my kids to be close in age but I know you aren't supposed to get pregnant again so soon, but that isn't set in stone, right?

I'm also waiting to see my consultant in a couple of months to check on my cysts and endometriosis and I'm also gonna try and push for an answer as to why Oliver came early and if it would happen again.

Plus we were trying for a while to conceive and now I know the reasons, I'm doubtful as to if I'd get pregnant again quickly.

It sounds like I'm asking for the green light to get pregnant again lol but I'm honestly not, I need to make sure everything is ok with Oliver first and give him my full attention for a while. I just really miss being pregnant and the excitement of life growing and kicking every day and wonder if anyone else felt like this so soon or have I still got baby brain?

 

[ermm23a]

I think that's totally normal.

Mine is almost 6 months now, and I still feel like I was cheated out of the whole pregnancy experience. I didn't even get to see him the day he was born, as soon as he was taken (c-section) they rushed him out and he was in the NICU and I couldn't even see him until the next day....

I had all these plans of a wonderful birth experience, and bonding with my baby immediately after he was born, having pics of us as a new family the first minutes of his life, etc... And I wasn't able to get any of that. I couldn't even hold him until he was a week old.

As far as getting preg again, I have been told it is ideal to wait at least 18 months before getting pregnant again after a c-section.

 

[stepmum]

I was quite lucky that I did get to see Oliver a few hours after he was born, but I'll always remember that part in my pregnancy notes where the doctor marked No to "Initial skin to skin contact?" because he was whisked away, that cuts me up a bit and I wonder whether the bond will be as strong as what it would have been had I held him first.

I have to switch off when I hear pregnant women moaning about the pains of late pregnancy and the merits of castor oil and curries, I'd gladly take the discomfort now and the anticipation rather than being taken by surprise.

Ah well, I'm just thankful he's ok and I suppose he'll just have to be a bigger brother than I'd like, I'm gonna do it by the book, anything to get the pregnancy and birth we all dream of.

 

[vermeil]

stepmum that's very, very normal and expected! At our hospital they have a psychologist who just wanders in the nicu, casually chats with parents and just helps them through this stressful situation. I spoke with her quite a few times, never thought I'd say this in my life before the nicu but speaking with her kept me somewhat sane at times

Basically having a preemie is EXACTLY like a living through a death, in that we go through all the stages of grieving. Why? As you put it so well, loss of that dream of the birth, loss of the late stages of pregnancy, loss of that intimacy and magical first contact, etc. It's also perfectly natural not to feel quite as attached and bonded to our little one immediately. I also didn't get to see my son the first day, and when I finally did get to see him, he was in cardiac and respiratory arrest. In situations of high stress like that we go into survival mode if you will, and well there's just no energy left to go 'aww look at this cute baby I love him sooo much!!' and that's perfectly ok! I have no qualms in saying it took me oh about 6 months after my son was home to feel attached to him. Sure I loved him right away and thought of him every second of every day, but I didn't feel like he was MY son until a few months later. Crazy but true and again quite normal!

And I hear you about the loss of the late pregnancy - for weeks after the birth I just could NOT step into a maternity or baby store. At the sight of the round bellies I would get panic attacks.. didn't know what they were before but boy did I figure that out quickly I couldn't see straight, think or breathe properly, I felt closed in - I had to leave the store and hurry away. Eventually They just made me teary-eyed. Then angry. Then annoyed at the stupid people getting upset because they couldn't find furniture in the color they wanted, gah

Hope that helps!