Not coping with the "negative" pregnancy test

[PinkLady17]

Hey girls, I'm new at BandB.
I'll try my best to describe what I'm going through.

I tried to conceive with my ex for a year and it didn't work (even though I was frustrated, I thank God cuz that baby was not going to have a good father), I guess deep down I knew that so I never went to the doctor to get some fertility tests...still i would get jealous to see all the women in my neighborhood get pregnant during my marriage and during my divorced time..even my aunt got pregnant for Christ sake!..visiting those women at the hospital to congratulate them was really painful, you know when you are forced to smile and say "Congratulations! Im so Happy for You" when inside you just wanna say: "Why do you get to have a baby and NOT ME?".

anyway, I remarried and we're trying and im so frustrated and so jealous to see THOSE girls I mentioned previously are pregnant AGAIN, im not kidding, most of these women are pregnant for the FOURTH time... urgh! it irks me! and I think it's not fair even though I am nobody to decide what's fair..it makes me think: "that could be me..."
it just hurts to see how easily the get pregnant and see them complain... while some of us are ignored by the stork .. I would do anything to trade my "negative" for their "positive"

anyone feeling this way? or am I a jealous monster?

 

[tansey]

Everyone who has been trying for a long time feels that way!

 

[Needababynow]

I am in the same boat as you. I am very thankful (now) that I didn't conceive with my first husband but it kills me not to be pregnant now after 4 years with the love of my life. My dh and I have been tested and we're both fine, still no bfp's. It is truly painful to see other people get pregnant after 1 try, or oops we weren't trying, and others along those lines. I am trying not to be bitter but its harder some days than others. I'm hoping we both get bfp's soon!

 

[No Doubt]

Don't worry about being a jealous monster...we all are at some point and it's ok. In fact, I think it's expected with what we're going through. I tried to conceive with an ex boyfriend years back and like you I'm so thankful that it didn't work out. What the hell was I thinking ?!?!? But I desparately want a baby with hubby now...so I completely understand.

I can't stand it when people complain either. My supervisor and I used to be close and we actually started trying around the same time. I actually started a month before her. Well she tried one month...didn't work. Tried the next month...got pregnant. Unfortunately she mc'd but when she was able to try again she did. Didn't work the first month, got preggo the second month, and now her LO is 3 months this Sunday. She turned into a complete bitch throughout her entire pregnancy...the whole office was talking about it. And she always complained about how she felt and being tired...just completely played it to the max. Complained about gaining weight and getting "fat", as if you don't know what happens when you have a baby...duh, idiot. But she only gained like 20-25lbs. REALLY?!?!?

Then today I find out that another one in our office is preggo. I had a suspicion, but it was confirmed cause she actually does get really bad morning sickness, and I felt bad for her today. But come to find out she was on BC and got pregnant! WTF... I haven't been on BC for almost 3 years and I've never seen so much of evap line on preggo test let alone a real line. Well I did once, but that was only cause I stuck the whole stick in the line of my urine flow accidently (I was younger, and single, and freaking out). But anyway, I get it.

Sorry, I kind of went off on a tangent there, but don't feel bad. It's normal. This is definately a time where we all want what someone else has.

 

[PinkLady17]

I know what you mean at trying not be bitter and it gets harder due to some people's pushiness about the topic.
good luck, so far both of us are fine too.. keep posting, let me know if you get preggers

 

[PinkLady17]

My upper post is for Needababynow ...still figuring out how to reply lol, sorry im new

 

[No Doubt]

You can click on the "reply with quote" button for whoever's post you want to quote and then type your message below it when the new message box comes up. When you submit the post it will show up properly.

 

[gypsygirl1018]

Almost 3 years ago when my OH and I started TTC I started a new job. My boss and one other girl that I worked with were both 7 months along. After about a year of being there I moved to Florida and started a different job and my boss there found out when she went to the doctor that she was 7 months along and had no clue. She had seen a FS years ago and thought that all the pregnancy symptoms she was having was because her endo was acting up. I was very happy for her, but jealous at the time.

Shortly after that, a good friend of mine, my SIL, an old friend from before I had moved, and my cousin ALL announced at the same time on facebook that they had found out that they were expecting. The thing that upset me about it is both of my friends were unplanned, and all they did the whole time was complain about EVERYTHING. I would have given anything to trade places with them. Now they all have their babies and I am still sitting here, childless, waiting for my turn.

I am thinking that the jealousy is normal for those of us that are here in this position.

 

[PinkLady17]

Almost 3 years ago when my OH and I started TTC I started a new job. My boss and one other girl that I worked with were both 7 months along. After about a year of being there I moved to Florida and started a different job and my boss there found out when she went to the doctor that she was 7 months along and had no clue. She had seen a FS years ago and thought that all the pregnancy symptoms she was having was because her endo was acting up. I was very happy for her, but jealous at the time.

Shortly after that, a good friend of mine, my SIL, an old friend from before I had moved, and my cousin ALL announced at the same time on facebook that they had found out that they were expecting. The thing that upset me about it is both of my friends were unplanned, and all they did the whole time was complain about EVERYTHING. I would have given anything to trade places with them. Now they all have their babies and I am still sitting here, childless, waiting for my turn.



I am thinking that the jealousy is normal for those of us that are here in this position.

i know what you mean about having people you know pregnant... it sucks big time...*do you often see these women???..... I see my annoying SIL with her baby girl, she along with my MIL love to shove it in my face, but they got a bit more relax about the matter after that family reunion where they asked ME if the baby isn't the HOTTEST GIRL ive ever seen... and I was like: the only hot girl I see here is me...haha! and my husband was like: that's so true! sorry, but my wife is the hottest"...... those two witches turned purple as a plum lol... so if there's anyone you dont like pregnant or that has a baby shoving it in your face there are always fun comebacks to make them stop

 

[No Doubt]

Haha...serves them right. People know what they are doing when they do stuff like that. I just don't have the tact that you do...lol. But your snippet also says that they're not hot either, so it was money. You should have asked if they had any other questions...lol.

 

[PinkLady17]

Haha...serves them right. People know what they are doing when they do stuff like that. I just don't have the tact that you do...lol. But your snippet also says that they're not hot either, so it was money. You should have asked if they had any other questions...lol.

yeah. it's pathetic, it's like: you have your baby, live your life and leave me alone...lmfao!.............lol @any other questions... I'll keep that one in mind! thnx!

 

[gypsygirl1018]

i know what you mean about having people you know pregnant... it sucks big time...*do you often see these women???..... I see my annoying SIL with her baby girl, she along with my MIL love to shove it in my face, but they got a bit more relax about the matter after that family reunion where they asked ME if the baby isn't the HOTTEST GIRL ive ever seen... and I was like: the only hot girl I see here is me...haha! and my husband was like: that's so true! sorry, but my wife is the hottest"...... those two witches turned purple as a plum lol... so if there's anyone you dont like pregnant or that has a baby shoving it in your face there are always fun comebacks to make them stop

I will have to keep that in mind. That is the funniest response to it that I have seen! I didn't even think to respond that way!

 

[No Doubt]

And I love that your hubby was right there with you...ready to cosign on whatever on you said.

That just hit a spot because I hate it when people do stuff like that. I just think it's so insensitive. My supervisor is like that. Constantly shoving pics of her newborn in my face. Granted the pics and the little outfits are cute but really?!?!? She knew we were trying at one point and before we fell out I told her we were gonna stop trying...thank God, I don't need her in my business like that...but still, and she is totally the kind of person to intentionally do something like that. But I look and say "oh, how cute" cause I wouldn't give that bitch the satisfaction of thinking I was jealous or wanting something she had. As long as she doesn't make any dumb ass comments, I won't make any smart ass comments.

 

[PinkLady17]

And I love that your hubby was right there with you...ready to cosign on whatever on you said.

That just hit a spot because I hate it when people do stuff like that. I just think it's so insensitive. My supervisor is like that. Constantly shoving pics of her newborn in my face. Granted the pics and the little outfits are cute but really?!?!? She knew we were trying at one point and before we fell out I told her we were gonna stop trying...thank God, I don't need her in my business like that...but still, and she is totally the kind of person to intentionally do something like that. But I look and say "oh, how cute" cause I wouldn't give that bitch the satisfaction of thinking I was jealous or wanting something she had. As long as she doesn't make any dumb ass comments, I won't make any smart ass comments.

at least she accepts "cute"..... my MIL goes out of whack, hahaha..we were at a restaurant this on time and she started to shove my SIL's baby pics at me.. i was like: uhm, yeah, cute..... and she got upset, she was like: CUTE??!!!! JUST CUTE!!!??? are you crazyyy?? this is the most beautiful baby ever...... lmfao, i almost chocked on my food, i was like: yeah, whatever. lmfao

 

[PinkLady17]

i know what you mean about having people you know pregnant... it sucks big time...*do you often see these women???..... I see my annoying SIL with her baby girl, she along with my MIL love to shove it in my face, but they got a bit more relax about the matter after that family reunion where they asked ME if the baby isn't the HOTTEST GIRL ive ever seen... and I was like: the only hot girl I see here is me...haha! and my husband was like: that's so true! sorry, but my wife is the hottest"...... those two witches turned purple as a plum lol... so if there's anyone you dont like pregnant or that has a baby shoving it in your face there are always fun comebacks to make them stop

I will have to keep that in mind. That is the funniest response to it that I have seen! I didn't even think to respond that way!

totally and keep us posted lol