Not doing " Father Christmas "

[sparkle_1979]

So I was ear wigging in a que one of the women obviously didnt do the whole christmas present/ father Xmas thing... From what I could gather it was part due to "lying" to the children

I just had never really heard of this or met anyone who doesn't buy for their children at christmas ( apart from different cultures )

Thoughts ?

 

[tinkerbelle93]

I've heard some people dislike the whole santa/father christmas thing and won't do it, but I've never met anyone who thinks this (I think). I'm the same as most people and think it's harmless fun. xx

 

[highhopes19]

I'd never heard of people not doing Santa till I joined BnB! To me its harmless fun and part of the magic of christmas and childhood!


We do and will continue to do every aspect of Santa

 

[sparkle_1979]

I've never heard of anyone here not doing it either.

I love christmas now we have children. I remember christmas being such a magical time as a child, not just the presents, even more the whole lead up before it.

 

[freckleonear]

We don't do Father Christmas in our family. I won't lie to my children by telling them something is real when it isn't. They know it is just a story, it doesn't spoil their fun.

We are cutting down on presents too. This year our children have one present each and we are not buying for adult friends and family. Next year I'd like to cut out bought presents completely. I hate the consumerism and waste. We'd like to encourage our children to focus on giving instead of getting.

 

[sparkle_1979]

My girls focus on giving too. They get so much pleasure from going and choosing presents for family. I don't see it as lying at all, they're kids it's fun, magical and I don't feel lied to at all. I have so many happy memories of laying in bed listening for the the bells on the sleigh late at night and all things like that x

 

[sue_88]

I think it's pure MAGIC and not lying. I found out about 'Santa' when I was 10 years old and it didn't spoil it, nor did I feel 'lied' too. It made it more magic for me for my younger sister who still had the magical feeling each Christmas morning.

If other people chose to do it, it's their choice and really I couldn't care, but I'd be very pissed off if a kid at school in the future was shouting it round the playground because for me not believing in Santa is very much in the minority so they would hurt a lot of people.

 

[MrsButterfly]

I never ever felt lied to when I found out Father Christmas wasn't real. However like a pp said I have memories of how magical it was and being convinced I'd heard his sleigh! I absolutely cannot wait until lo is old enough to understand leaving out the mince pie and carrot for Father Christmas and Rudolph!

 

[lilyd]

I think that the build up to Christmas and the excitement it brings to children is pure magic and I don't understand (no offence) why anybody would deprive their children of the experience.

I don't think children feel lied to, I know I didn't and once they do find out it is just as lovely letting them choose gifts for people.

Children are little for such a short period of time, one of the greatest joys is seeing their little faces at Christmas!

I've never come across an adult that hasn't forgiven their parents!

 

[sparkle_1979]

The same, leaving out the mince pie and chopping carrots for the reign dear makes me feel like a kid again x

 

[Yo_Yo]

I think it's really mean to not do Santa...
God my kids would hate me forever more.

There's precious little enough time for magical excitment and innocent childhood as it is.

Of course santas real!!

 

[tallybee]

Hmm, as an atheist I carefully considered what I was going to do. My family has always celebrated Xmas in a secular way, we did do Santa as kids and I did eventually give the same 'magic' to my children. I can understand why people wouldn't though. The idea that 'good' kids get gifts from santa is all very well but it kind of implies that kids whose parents have no money aren't 'good' if they don't get much. Each to their own. My two have figured out that santa's not real and I've explained to them it's to make 'magical' memories for little children. I've asked them to remember how great it was for them and not to spoil it or other kids - which means not saying santa is not real at school etc.

 

[stephx]

I doubt there is 1 person in the world that could say that the father christmas 'lie' had a negative effect on their childhood. There are probably are fair few that have negative memories of not getting gifts as their parents thought too much into it and decided to ruin it for them!

I think it's incredibly mean to deprive your children of the magic of christmas.

 

[sparkle_1979]

Must admit steph I agree 100% with you. There are many reasons not to celebrate but to say because its a lie, I don't know. I don't get that, let kids be kids..

 

[bumpy_j]

I was taught he wasn't real instantly as we didn't celebrate Christmas and I really felt like I was missing out when I was younger. I used to still send him letters behind my mums back!

 

[sparkle_1979]

Aww bumpy

That's so sad x

 

[bumpy_j]

Aww bumpy

That's so sad x

Haha it's okay...I go a little Christmas crazy to make up for it now

 

[sparkle_1979]

good for you x

 

[lindseymw]

I still wish he was real.....it would save me a fortune!

We do the Santa 'lie' in our house. I have many memories as a child about Santa, the awe of the Mince Pie being eaten over night, the carrot having bite marks off Rudolph, setting traps to catch Santa...I want my kids to have the same type of memories.

 

[freckleonear]

I think some of these comments are ridiculously out of proportion. Our family celebrates St Nicholas Day on 6th December. I don't think that parents who don't do this are "incredibly mean" or "depriving" their children.

Christmas can still be magical without believing that Father Christmas is real. My children hang out their stockings with great excitement on Christmas Eve. We "play" Santa in the same way we might play any other make-believe game. It is an entirely adult notion that something can only be magical if children believe it to be factual. Make believe is limited only by a child's imagination, whereas real things is limited by real rules.

Keeping things simple doesn't make it less magical or exciting for children, in fact I think it does the opposite. My children get so much excitement and joy over simple things like advent traditions, nativity scenes, singing carols, decorating the tree and doing random acts of kindness. I'm not convinced that the kids with dozens of presents experience Christmas on anything deeper than a materialistic level.

To be honest, the ideology of Santa isn't something we'd want to embrace in our family anyway. Let's face it, Santa is unfair. Some children get a small stocking, others get dozens of expensive presents. Some children get what they asked for, some don't. Does that mean they aren't good enough? There are millions of children in the world who are homeless or starving. How do I explain to my children that Santa gives nothing at all where it is needed most?

I do try to teach my children not to spoil it for other kids who do believe, but they may well slip up some day. I think there are far more important things to be "very pissed off" about than a child making an innocent mistake. But personally I think that children should be free to talk about their own beliefs, it's good practice for when they come across others of different cultures and religions (incidentally, it seems to be fine to tell children that God is not real!).

And just for the record as several people have mentioned it, actually I do know several adults who are still upset that their parents lied to them. It may not be common, but it does happen.